#ari.yaps

no matter how much you love him and he loves you, you’re stuck orbiting him.

his desire to be number one always comes first. it consumes him from the inside out, this need to be better, be the best. you think once he climbs those ranks, tooth and nail, and makes it to his coveted number one spot, he will finally love you the way you need.

instead, he stays unreachable, a figure you circle around constantly but never quite touch. he’s paranoid, and fighting to keep his spot may be worse than fighting to gain it. he sees everything and everyone as a threat, as a distraction.

you feel uncomfortable now, like you don’t know him anymore. you’re on alien ground. and he never touches down, never comes back to ground you. so you bite your tongue and steel your jaw, and decide that if you’re gonna lose him either way, it might as well be on your own terms.

you don’t think he even noticed when you leave, quietly slip out of his orbit.