#ardwen

You have to step over Ardwen, sprawled out tantalisingly on the floor as you enter into your office that morning, a sweat on your brow and an ache in your bones from the two hours of training Severa managed to rope you into. You hear the huff, but don’t bother to look as Ardwen attempts to garner your attention through exaggerated sighs. You simply shake your head and plop down into the chair. You don’t have the time to humour him today. And yet.

“Lover,” Ardwen whines, and you can feel him lean over the back of the chair, fingers tugging at the collar of your shirt, lips against the back of your neck. Though he comes on strong, his touches are almost delicate, soft enough to completely unhand you if need be. Ardwen mumbles something against your hair, kissing your neck slowly, as if the very action is enough to convince you. “Come on, you’re working too hard.”

“Ardwen, I have a meeting with Felicia in an hour and Spotter has another report to give me about the gangs in the area. You can’t just monopolise my time like this.” You sigh, your arguments only coming out weak as Ardwen’s hands slide down into the front of your shirt, squeezing your chest before going lower. You can’t help but sigh in irritation at his light chuckle, hands returning to your chest again.

“Case in point.” You can feel his grin and, despite your mind screaming at you not to take the bait, you can’t deny that already your shoulders are beginning to slacken, becoming pliant under Ardwen’s lazy work. And, well, he always knows just how to get under your skin. “You never spend any time with me anymore. You need a break.”

Ardwen, you have come to realise, is fickle by his very nature. You think he must have changed his preferred weapon of choice so many times in your adventures together, going from using daggers, to magic, to a mace at one stage. And yet, despite his constant unreliability to truly making a decision—and his apparent fear of settling down if any past relationship is concerned—you love him.

That is, in retrospect, most likely why you have stayed away now that you’ve reconciled—reconciled? Perhaps that is the right word—but it doesn’t quite feel like one. Though he has attempted to approach you on multiple occasions, you have always spurned his advances, perhaps because of the way he hurt you, or perhaps because of the way he hurt your best friend.

You know that, deep down, it is simply you punishing yourself for your own actions; if you truly cared for Arke’s feelings you should have probably sent him away, even if your best friend remains perfectly capable of being cordial to Ardwen, if a little distant. No, that is unfair to you and to Arke both; you’re adults now, far from the stupid teenagers who loved perhaps a tad too freely. Indeed, you think that they are simply your own hangups that keep you from properly pursuing Ardwen.

Because the Ardwen that you knew is the Ardwen with his propensity to mistake affection for some kind of weakness, and though you don’t quite know much about the Ardwen of today, you are wary of the man. For all you know he hasn’t changed and though you are certain of your continuing, and unfortunately growing, fondness, you don’t think you can allow yourself to fall for that sarcastic, ill-mannered, young elf who seems so adept at capturing your heart.