#arbor writes

oh, to be a daughter with a mother. to know that she is responsible for your deepest traumas and yet you love her unconditionally. to admire the kind of woman she is and to know she made you the person you are and to fear becoming like her at the same time. to know she will never apologize nor even acknowledge what she put you through but still to dread dissapointing her. to want to do right by her. to see what all she has gone through, for nothing but the crime of existing as a woman. to also be a woman. to want to look out for her. to remember in the middle of the night the awful things she said to you and to start to cry about it. to be in this complicated position where you hold her accountable but you understand why she did what she did and to wonder if it was really her fault if she had her reasons. to know that she's responsible. to know that she hurt you. to know she thought she was doing what was best. to love her unconditionally.