#applecorething

The more I saw him, the more I was pulled in. It was kind of like falling into quicksand. Initially I was attracted by his looks, but it soon became way more than that. I've never followed an artist or celebrity like I did with U-Kiss or Kiseop but I wanted to know more about him and who he was. He was this enigma to me and I wanted to find an answer. 

Would you be as biased if you found U-Kiss at a different time? Why?

I have no doubt that whether I had discovered them around debut or even sometime this year, I would love U-Kiss as much as I do now or even more. 

Would you have gut-instinct chosen your current bias at a different time? Why? How much was it to do with the era or the styling of the concept?

Honestly, who knows? If I had gotten into U-Kiss right from debut, I think that I would have become Kibum biased, but end up liking Kiseop later on (taking into account the member change). If I had gotten into U-Kiss in mid to late 2011, I might have become Hoon biased since I was immediately fond of him when he joined. Plus, seeing as he was new I would feel the urge to support him through such a difficult period of transition. Even if I became a fan some time later this year, for all I know I could have become Jun biased. But regardless, I feel that liking Kiseop would be inevitable, whether as my main U-Kiss bias or not, simply because he is such a kind, genuine person to me.

I'll admit that styling played a part in me liking Kiseop and Kibum when I first watched Man Man Ha Ni. But once that passes, once I really know who I like, styling and stuff don't matter like it did before. Yeah, it's fun because it's a new phase and everyone gets to try a new look, but just because another member might look better doesn't mean I'll immediately sway each time.

What interviews made you like your bias? Why? Was it how they looked or what they said or the way they answered?

I don't think there was a specific interview. He never really spoke much to begin with, so I spent most of the time focusing on him in U-Kiss Vampire + Chef's Kiss and just watching him in general. Ulzzang Shidae 2 was one of the rare times he was on his own, so while the show itself wasn't that great it was interesting to just watch him.

There is one interview that I enjoy though. It was at the time U-Kiss came to KMF back in 2011. Kiseop seemed particularly happy and talkative during this interview and I remember watching it several times when it came out. Never had I seen him so eager to discuss something, haha.

Have you ever questioned your bias? Why? What about if you let every doubt change your whole bias? Never. Once I knew it was Kiseop, I never felt any doubt about him. Of course I care about all the members and even went through periods when I gave certain ones plenty of attention too, but they were never on the verge of taking Kiseop's place. Idols from other groups have never challenged my choice either. I may like some other idols, but they will never hold a candle to him. 

Is your bias that important to your fandom experience? Do you make friends who share your bias or do you avoid fans who share your bias? Why? Yes yes yes. Kiseop is really important to me. If I'm not talking about him, I'm thinking about him. He is so essential to my overall experience. I love all the boys, but he's this extra burst of happiness in my life. I don't know what it would be like if he weren't in U-Kiss anymore and I'd rather not think about it.

Hm, yes and no? I do have and make friends with other fans that are Kiseop biased, but it's different. I never really talk to most of them about Kiseop in depth. I think I talk about him more with my friends that are biased toward the other members.

And it's not that I don't want to talk to other fans; I want to! But it's hard. We all see idols differently, but for me it's kind of difficult to find someone else that sees Kiseop like I do. I'll be perfectly honest, I feel like most of his fans either: still make too big of a deal about his line distribution and/or don't have enough faith in him when it comes to certain things (musicals for instance). I've seen enough evidence of both things so I can't pretend it's not true. It doesn't make anyone a bad person if they think this way, but I feel like those are things that won't go away completely. In a way these thoughts have sort of become a norm. A lot of people view Kiseop a certain way and it's hard to break away from that image. Isn't it better to think about someone with positive thoughts? I really hope I'm not the only one that's bothered by this stuff.

Do you enjoy talking only about your bias or is it only a mild input on your fandom life? Why? Like I said before, very important. But I tend to think about him more than talk. He's on my mind a lot and he usually stays there. Once I start talking about him, it's really hard for me to stop. There are times when I've actually forced myself to stop talking about him (mostly when it's me talking to myself). I enjoy talking about all the members though, so it's not only Kiseop. 

Bonus!: Why do you love your bias?

Damn, where do I even start.

I love his teeth when he smiles that certain smile, the one that reaches his eyes. I love how his eyes narrow when he smiles too. I love when he wears glasses even though he doesn't need them because he looks cute with frames. I love how big his eyes are. I love how expressive they are too - they can display his emotions or exaggerate some of his expressions. And I love his stare. Sometimes it feels like if you stare back long enough you'll get sucked in. It sends chills down my spine. I love the look on his face when he performs. He enters this state of concentration and looks so professional. Being able to see that in person was amazing and left me in awe.

I love his mouth and how he has such nice lips. I love how soothing his voice is and how much he's improved since debut. I love the way he sounded in Summer Snow and it really warms my heart when I hear him sing in a musical voice. It always makes me proud seeing how far he's gotten and what he's accomplished in a few years. I love his speaking voice and how it's kinda nasally. I love his laugh and how he moves when he laughs. I love how he speaks English, and I can't help but laugh because he sounds so cute when he tries. I love the look on his face when he eats.

I love his nose. I love his ears and how they kinda stick out more than they're supposed to. I love how his head is slightly too big for him to wear certain hats. I love his hair. I love it straight, fluffy, short, long, shaved, black, brown, red, with colored patches or weird highlights.

I love his fingers and how they have cute round nails. I love his arms. I love that he does his best to keep himself in shape when he has the time. I love that even though he flaunts his body more than he used to, he still gets bashful about it and I'm glad that's never changed. I love the way he holds a microphone.

I love the way he dances. He's improved a lot and recently you can tell he's grown. It makes me proud to see him assist with the choreography or create his own performance like he did during Budokan. I love his passion. I love that creative side of him and it never fails to impress me. I always look forward to what he wants to do next.

And speaking of creativity, I also love how he's giving composing and writing lyrics a try! I enjoy seeing him experiment and give new things a chance. Things like that will help him become a better artist. 

I love how he doesn't try to hide his fears. He could pretend certain things don't bother him, but he doesn't. I find that endearing because that's who he is. I love his temperament. The other members have often said he doesn't get mad very easily and it's rare for him to be angry at people. I wish I could say the same for myself. I like that he sees the good in others. I like that a lot.

I love his strength. He's soft yet strong. He was able to overcome his personal demons and achieve his dream. I love how much he loves his family. The way he talks about his mother and sister, you can tell he was raised in such a loving environment and that's how he became a loving person. I love how he wants to do his best especially for them. I love how dedicated and hard working he is. He really puts his all into U-Kiss and doesn't want to let his members down. 

I love that he has flaws. He's stingy, forgetful, can be vain, spaces out, and is reserved/doesn't really get involved in interviews or broadcasts unless someone makes a point to address him. But as odd as it may sound, his flaws also have some positive aspects. While he may be stingy, he does work hard to save up his money and doesn't spend it easily. Even though he knows he's attractive, he is actually pretty modest about it. He may be quiet but that's just part of who he is. Once he opens up to people and feels comfortable around them, he's not afraid to unleash his 4D-ness. I embrace his qualities because they make up who he is. 

But most of all, I love his heart. I think it's the most beautiful thing about him.

And I love that no matter how awful I may be feeling, if I'm having the worst day possible, if I'm feeling like a failure, the thought of him will always put a smile on my face. He makes me a better person. He makes me strong.

He's my bear obsessed, strawberry loving, dancing fool and I wouldn't want it any other way. 

My original reason for even paying attention to AJ was because in Tick Tack he did this move with his hands that mimicked the action of a clock ticking back and forth.  From there on I paid attention to him, before that he was just another member (and Kiseop was my ultimate bias).  And through paying more attention to AJ I discovered more and more about him that I liked (and a little of dislike).  I personally think I was (and still am) attracted to his creative/playful side.  

I may or may not have been, I usually try to stick to something I’ve committed to, however I do change.  It would depend on how strong I felt towards that certain member and the length that I had liked them. 

It obviously had a lot to do with the era, but also how he applied himself to the concept.  Take for example, 0330, AJ was for me not so creative in his individual actions during the MV’s drama part and the choreography.  There, I would have actually paid more attention to Kiseop due to a part of the choreography.  I can see a couple of changes in the way he acts and reacts (not sure if I see correct) from paran to pre-college ukiss to post-college ukiss (Believe was a bit iffy…) but in the pre-college stage he seemed a bit more annoyed and he did not act as cute and funny as he does now.  This kind of attitude, if not for the music videos and the parts of him that didn’t seem annoyed or angry a lot?, would have driven me away from him. However, there was also the U-KISS My Story Documentary that made me interested in him as well (but I don’t know when exactly I watched that with english subs so the timeline might be messed up here.)  now…on to answering the question…no, I do not think it would have been a gut instinct at the time I first was introduced to him and the era had to do a lot with why I chose him because of how his personality reacted to the concept.

As mentioned quickly above, the My Story Documentary had a lot to do with me paying more attention to him.  When I learned of the hardships he had to go through with studying, I could partcially understand his feelings and the type of stress.  Long story short, I empathized with him.  

Technically, his performances in the Tick Tack, A Shared Dream, and Forbidden love enticed me.  As I’ve said before, it was the way he responded to and matched with the song, I really like that creative side of him.  It was something I had not seen in K-Pop before (and I had been watching K-Pop for 2 years by then) so it kind of took me by surprise and I was like wow!  

I’ve questioned him countless times -_-  Sometimes I completely do not understand and others I would like a more in-depth reason.  Just a few decisions that he makes, like always spilling the members’ secrets but hates it when they talk about him.  or why he shaved only half of his head a few weeks before going back to University instead of the whole think or keeping it the way it was. (takes this back b/c it looks like he didn't shave the rest.)  I can’t think of any others at the moment, but I have questioned his decisions and actions and at the same time supported the quesitonable ones.

My bias(AJ specifically) is not important to my fandom experience by much.  I enjoy all the members and talking about them.  I don’t have a lot of friends in the first place, and the ones I do have, it isn’t relevant.

I enjoy talking about my bias a lot!  I do talk about AJ more than the other members, but I think that’s because he is more of a “free spirit” than the rest.  it’s easier to talk about him more analytically than everyone else.

1. Why did you become so biased towards that member?

Well, after becoming a fan and learning about the member change and the not-so-pleasant after-effects, I wanted to support the new members. I wanted to see what they had to offer. I don’t know which moment was the “AHA!” moment, but I became interested in Hoon. It’s hard to explain. Something about his personality drew me in. He has qualities that I lack. In my case, I tend to be serious and reserved. I used to worry obsessively about how people perceived me. Now, I don’t feel the need to do this. He brings out my inner quirkiness and he reminds me to relax and let loose every now and then.

Along with his personality traits, I love the way he interacts with fans. I can tell that he truly appreciates them and he tries his best to communicate with them. His cute tweets make me smile. During fansigns, he tries to make direct eye contact with each fan. He said that it’s as if he is personally connecting with each fan when he looks at them, and I find that incredibly sweet.

Lastly, I like how… normal he is. Yes, he is an idol and has Hulk arms and all, but he seems like an ordinary person. He may not have the conventional K-pop idol look, but I’m okay with that. It makes him seem more relatable to me.

2. Would you be as biased if you found U-Kiss at a different time? Why?

I think so. Even if I had become a fan prior to the member change, I tend to pay attention to members who, in my opinion, deserve more recognition/attention. I still would’ve been interested in the new members even if I had been a fan during that time. Since I’m typically drawn toward vocalists more than rappers, I believe Hoon would’ve caught my attention at that time, too.  I would’ve wanted to know about his backstory, his personality, and his dreams. I would’ve wanted him to know that he has supporters. I believe that he would’ve stood a good chance of being my bias back then.

3. Would you have gut-instinct chosen your current bias at a different time? Why? How much was it to do with the era or the styling of the concept?

Probably not, but my biases are never chosen by gut-instinct. When I enter a new K-pop fandom, I like to research the members by watching variety shows and interviews or reading their profiles and trivia. It’s interesting to learn about what they’ve been through and what they’ve sacrificed to make it this far. Because I don’t choose my biases immediately, physical appearance isn’t a top priority for me. My biases, as a result, may not have the “prettiest face” based on popular opinion, but I don’t mind. It’s the other characteristics that keep me hooked. Anyway, back to Hoon. The Neverland era (the time that I joined the fandom) didn’t have a huge effect on my choice, but I remember seeing Hoon for the first time in that MV. He was totally buff, but he had a baby face. I thought it was an interesting mix.

4. What interviews made you like your bias? Why? Was it how they looked or what they said or the way they answered?

There aren’t specific interviews that made me like Hoon. For the most part, he’s energetic and odd (in an entertaining way) in shows. However, two documentaries resulting in Hoon becoming my bias: My Story and his predebut documentary.

After watching My Story, I learned that he is family-orientated man; he loves his family. It was adorable when he visited his mom and she was patting his butt, hehe. His parents were so supportive of his dream to become a singer; his father went so far as to build a practice room for him. Not every idol had parents who supported his or her dreams. Hoon is also devoted to health and fitness, which inspires to stay healthy for myself. He and his parents have a positive outlook in terms of the group’s success. It’s lovely how they all support each other. He was raised well.

Now, the predebut video was what led me to choose Hoon as my bias. When I learned that he bullied as a child due to his weight, it struck a chord within me. I was able to sympathize with him because I went through the same thing. Because of this, I was afraid to interact with others because of the comments they’d make. Anyway, Hoon didn’t let this hold him back. He enrolled in taekwondo to improve his health. Even after the injury, which forced him to quit, he didn’t let this stop him, either. He soon found a passion for singing, and now look what he has accomplished! And to think, he wouldn’t be in this industry if the previous events hadn’t happened. I admire his perseverance.

5. What performances first enticed you? Why?

There isn’t a specific performance that caught my attention, but I love that part in Neverland where Hoon walks forward with arms wide open. It’s very diva-like, and, I don’t know, I just like it. Also, I knew that he wasn’t comfortable performing the older songs in the beginning. Even though there was backlash, I still wanted to support. I continued to root for him.

6. Have you ever questioned your bias? Why? What about if you let every doubt change your whole bias?

Yes, I have. When I was a new fan, I rarely saw people fangirling over Hoon. It was usually about the more popular members, which was fine and all, but I felt somewhat lonely. My views were different, and the others just didn’t pique my interest as much as Hoon did. I didn’t fangirl in the same way as others did. It was difficult to find others who shared similar views, so I felt that there was something wrong with not being like the others. I felt that my choice of bias had been wrong. I thought that if I went along with other people’s beliefs, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with them myself, then I could find friends. Now I know that it’s okay to have different views. I shouldn’t have to feel bad for liking someone who makes me happy. And I don’t.

7. Is your bias that important to your fandom experience? Do you make friends who share your bias or do you avoid fans who share your bias? Why?

Since my blog is centered around Hoon, he does form an important part of my fandom experience. Most of the friends that I’ve made on Tumblr are Hoon-biased. I’ll talk with and respect people who respect me in return, but I feel a connection with other Hoon fans. We understand that he has less fans than other members. Although our numbers may be smaller, our love for him is the same. It’s as if we understand his oddities and we’ve been influenced in similar ways.

I do appreciate fans who are not possessive of their biases. Personally, I find it awkward when fans treat their biases as if they only belong to them. I won’t look down on anyone who happens to do this, but I just find it… creepy. They’re not objects or toys, nor should they be treated in this way.

Back to Hoon again. I love those who don’t just see Hoon at face value. I love those who can look deeper, see his charms and imperfections, and accept him. They're what make him who he is.

This part doesn’t relate to the original question, but the thought just came up. I truly hope that he finds a kind and caring lover in the future. I watched another predebut video where he appeared with his former girlfriend. They broke up after they started to drift apart. It had a major effect on them, but I don’t know the details because there were no subtitles. He deserves to be with someone who loves him. That's what I want.

8. Do you enjoy talking only about your bias or is it only a mild input on your fandom life? Why?

Although I can talk about the group as a whole, I’m able to ramble on and on about Hoon most often. I enjoy talking about his little moments from shows, concerts, interviews, MVs, etc. I talk about his weirdness so much that I’ve become weird, too. I also enjoy insightful discussions that help me understand different sides of Hoon, other members, or the group as a whole. Because I prefer a small circle of friends, I tend not to stray too far from this circle. It’s just my personality, I guess. I may not be the best at keeping in touch with people because I can only handle small amounts at a time. Even so, I appreciate all kinds of conversations with fans.