JOKE-OGRAPHY:
This cartoon references a lot of verses, so here's an explanation for them all:
Matthew 1:18-24 is about the Annunciation (Gabriel announcing to Mary that she will bear the Son of God). This takes place "when Mary and Joseph were betrothed but before they came together." In this context, the word "betrothed" is being used for the stage of ancient Jewish marriage where the bride and groom had entered into the marriage contract but did not yet live together. So Mary and Joseph are legally a couple, but Joseph doesn't take her into his home until the end of this section after the angel reassures him in a dream. The taking of the bride into the groom's newly built home was the final stage of the marriage.
Matthew 22:1-2 is the beginning of one of Jesus's parables where He likens the Kingdom of Heaven to a king preparing a wedding feast for his son. The Bible is just lousy with wedding imagery when it comes to God's relationship with mankind; or rather, marriage is lousy with imagery pointing to the ultimate destiny of humanity to unite entirely with God in life-giving, self-giving love.
Matthew 26:26-28 is where Jesus lifts the bread and wine at the last supper and declares them His Body and Blood of the covenant. Jesus's cup is the cup that all other cups and covenants reflect all throughout the Bible. THIS is the big one, where God pledges Himself once again to mankind, IN THE FLESH!
John 13:33 and 14:1-3 are where Jesus talks about leaving the disciples for a time, then assures them that He's going to prepare a dwelling for them in His Father's house. He adds that, once He's done, He'll come back for them, to take them to Himself. In light of the other verses compressed into this fun little amateur Bible study, we can see Jesus is once again using very wedding-coded imagery to speak about heaven and the anticipated union with the Divine.
Thanks for reading! As a reward -- and because I can't post something without a joke (per MY covenant with my patron, St. Lawrence) -- here's a classic: "What do you get when you eat all the potatoes?"
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the one in her bedroom had burned out the night before, and despite the growing unease she had been feeling lately, she decided to go out alone.
for the past few days, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone had been following her.
still, it was broad daylight. there were plenty of people outside. surely no one would try anything in public, right?
unfortunately, a man with a twisted mind could do anything. even in broad daylight.
at first, Reader tried to convince herself she was imagining things but when she glanced behind her and saw the same man from earlier walking in her direction, her stomach dropped.
he wasn't running.
he wasn't even calling out to her.
he was simply walking.
yet his strides were so large that the distance between them kept shrinking.
reader immediately turned away, to look for a crowded area.
the problem was that she had already wandered farther from home than intended.
worse she had left her phone behind, assuming she would only be out for a few minutes.
now she was alone and being followed.
panic clawed at her chest then she saw him.
a blond man sat alone at an outdoor café table, casually drinking coffee.
without thinking, Reader hurried over and sat beside him.
her eyes darted around nervously.
the stalker was getting closer.
acting purely on instinct, she grabbed the sleeve of the blond man's cardigan.
"please... h-help me. there's someone who's been following me."
as she turned to look at the man she had just begged for help from, she momentarily forgot about the stalker entirely.
because the man beside her was somehow even more intimidating.
his expression was completely blank.
tattoos decorated his face.
combined with his piercing gaze, he looked terrifying.
reader's mouth fell open.
slowly, she released his sleeve.
"sorry."
she was about to stand and leave when a voice shouted from behind her.
"hey, you bitch! i was just being friendly! why are you running away?"
the stalker pointed aggressively at her as he approached.
reader immediately sat back down.
her body froze.
the stalker was standing directly in front of her now.
her hands trembled.
cold sweat gathered on her palms.
she wanted to ask the blond man for help again.
but when she looked beside her
he was already standing.
the blond man stared directly at the stalker.
his expression remained blank, yet there was a faint smirk on his lips.
the movement revealed his braces and tongue piercing.
both hands remained tucked inside his pockets.
"what do you want with my girlfriend?"
the stalker clicked his tongue.
"your girlfriend? who the hell are you?"
"matthias."
the blond man tilted his head slightly.
"her boyfriend."
the smile on his face widened.
"and the thing is... i get jealous very easily."
he raised his hand and formed a finger gun.
"leave her alone if you still want to..."
the stalker froze.
completely froze.
as if he had suddenly recognized exactly who matthias was.
reader remained seated.
head lowered, she hear her own heart pounding.
her entire body shook from anxiety.
what if a fight broke out? what if someone got hurt?
she took several deep breaths before finally gathering enough courage to step between them.
but when she looked up—
the stalker was gone.
completely gone.
as if he had vanished into thin air.
matthias was sitting again, one leg crossed over the other while casually sipping his coffee.
he was smirking at her.
"do we have a problem here, girlfriend?"
he tilted his head.
reader blinked.
matthias stood.
"be more careful next time."
he reached over and ruffled her hair.
"see you around."
and then he simply walked away.
reader sat frozen in place.
flustered and confused. still nervous.
but not nearly as terrified as earlier.
what the hell just happened?
and why was there a calling card sitting on top of her head?
slowly, she picked it up.
a phone number was written on it.
reader kept the card.
who knows?
maybe someday she would call the number just to say thank you.
because ever since the day Matthias helped her
she never saw, heard from, or encountered her stalker again.
THADDEUS
reader was at a club with her friends, enjoying a long-overdue girls' night out.the music was loud, the lights flashed across the dance floor, and after a few drinks, reader was feeling pleasantly tipsy.
not drunk. just tipsy enough to fully enjoy dancing. her confidence was higher than usual, and she moved freely to the music, laughing with her friends.
unfortunately, confidence and beauty tended to attract attention. most of the glances directed at her were harmless. some people admired from afar. others simply watched but there was always that one person who decided to cross the line.
reader felt someone move closer behind her. too close even through the haze of alcohol, her instincts immediately kicked in.
when a hand reached toward her waist, she slapped it away without hesitation. the sharp sound cut through the music.
reader turned around.
"what the hell? get lost, you creep."
she immediately stepped away from the man.
the creep merely smirked.
"come on," he said, following her. "ive been watching you since the moment you walked into the club."
reader's expression twisted in disgust.
"leave me alone, you fucking creep."
she turned and hurried away. the man followed.
"hey, why are you so angry? just show me some moves and ill leave you al—"
he never got to finish because suddenly there was a foot directly in front of his face. the man stumbled backward in shock. standing between him and reader was another man.
a huge grin stretched across his face. his arms were crossed casually over his chest while one leg remained raised, balanced perfectly on the other.
the kick hadn't actually landed but it had come close enough. close enough that the creep could still feel the impact of the air brushing past his cheek. he was almost certain a bruise would appear anyway.
"how about my move?" the newcomer asked cheerfully.
his grin widened.
"can you rate it, xiongdi? if you want, i can show you a few more."
the creep immediately took another step back. reader stared. she had absolutely no idea where this guy came from but she wasn't complaining. the man still had his leg raised, completely prepared to plant his foot directly into the creep's face if necessary.
"hey, xiongdi! say sorry to the gorgeous lady right there."
the stranger pointed his chin toward reader. reader blinked. she was confused. a little impressed and admittedly fascinated by the ridiculously confident man who had suddenly appeared to save her.
the creep nervously looked at reader. she raised an eyebrow.
"s-sorry. i won't force myself on you."
the man protecting reader shifted slightly. the creep immediately panicked.
"sorry!" he repeated. "i won't invade your personal space again or any other woman's personal space!"
reader rolled her eyes.
"you better not." she crossed her arms. "now get lost. your presence is ruining my night."
the creep wasted no time. he practically sprinted away. only after he disappeared into the crowd did the stranger finally lower his leg. reader walked over to him.
"thank you."
she smiled warmly. the man smiled back just as brightly.
"my pleasure, gorgeous."
he casually brushed his clothes straight.
"i merely did what any real man should do."
reader laughed.
"bare minimum btw."
"facts." the man nodded seriously.
then immediately ruined the serious atmosphere by grinning again.reader couldn't help laughing. the stranger suddenly bowed dramatically. one hand rested behind his back while the other extended toward her.
"may I request this dance, my lady?"
reader looked at his outstretched hand. then at his face. then back at his hand.
"sorry. i don't dance with strangers." she paused. "at least give me your name first."
the man placed a hand over his chest as if wounded.
"my deepest apologies, my lady." he straightened. "thaddeus is the name."
reader smiled. this time, she accepted his hand.
"okay, thaddeus."
a playful challenge appeared in her eyes.
"show me some of your moves."
the grin that spread across thaddeus' face was downright dangerous.
"oh, trust me."
He gently pulled her toward the dance floor.
"i've got plenty of moves."
ALIPEDE
alipede had been taking a late-night walk to clear his mind. the streets were quiet, illuminated only by scattered streetlights and the occasional glow from nearby buildings. the peaceful atmosphere was exactly what he needed.
or at least, it had been. then he heard running. judging by the uneven footsteps, labored breathing, and frantic pace, it was a woman. she sounded exhausted, as if she had been running for a long time.
a moment later, alipede sensed another person behind her. someone chasing her. someone with bad intentions.
"HELP! HELP!"
reader's voice echoed through the street as she ran toward him. her face was pale. sweat dripped down her forehead. fear was written all over her expression. alipede glance at the reader's way. then turn away again and continued walking. he had no intention of getting involved. not his problem.
reader ran past him, her heart sinking when she realized the intimidating stranger wasn't stopping to help but just as the man chasing her reached alipede.he slammed directly into him.
"MOVE ASIDE, ASSHOLE!"
the man shoved him aggressively as he tried to continue the pursuit.
alipede stopped walking.
the peaceful night walk he had been enjoying was officially ruined.
without warning, he grabbed the man's arm.
the stalker's eyes widened.
a sharp twist on stalker's hand with a violent takedown.
the man hit the pavement hard.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" he screamed.
meanwhile, reader finally had a chance to catch her breath.
seeing the opportunity, she immediately pulled out her phone and called the police.
she quickly reported the harassment and gave them her location to stop the situation before it escalated further.
she glance at the two men, they were already exchanging punches.
the stalker scrambled to his feet and swung first.
alipede responded without hesitation.
the fight was brutal. one-sided, but brutal.
the officers arrived within minutes.
by the time they reached the scene, the stalker had been beaten badly enough that resisting arrest was no longer an option.
the police immediately handcuffed him.
reader let out a shaky sigh of relief.
finally, it was over but then one of the officers frowned.
"miss, where's the other man?"
reader blinked.
"the other man?"
the officer nodded.
"the one who helped you."
reader turned around.
the street behind her was empty.
completely empty.
the man who had saved her was gone.
no trace that he had ever been there.
he had vanished as suddenly as he had appeared.
reader stared at the empty street for several moments before finally relaxing.
at least the stalker had been caught.
that was all that mattered.
as the police led the battered man toward their vehicle, reader couldn't help glancing one last time at the place where the mysterious stranger had stood.
she never even got the chance to thank him.
still...
the man had unintentionally helped her and because of him, she was able to make it home safely that night.
