#apathetic af

Ever since Brett and I broke up, I haven’t been able to trust myself in a committed relationship. Whenever I have interest in someone, I scare myself out of it. I pay attention to literally the smallest things someone can do that I don’t particularly like, and focus only on that until that’s all I can see in them. I’m just extremely apathetic and don’t care for caring about other people’s feelings or emotions. My last relationship didn’t last long because I didn’t even really like them, no matter how many times I said I did, I just didn’t care about them or losing them. I don’t get butterflies in my stomach anymore, I don’t get nervous around someone anymore, I just don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t know what it is or why it’s like this, but I don’t think I’m capable of being in love with someone. Now, all I have interest in with people I’m attracted to is sleeping with them and leaving it at that. Which is shallow, because I want nothing more, and more times than not, they want something more and I just don’t have interest in committing to them emotionally.