#aospostivitynet

My daughter always gets back up.

AOS Appreciation Week - Day 2: May

There are many things to love about May - from her being one of my childhood heroes reincarnated for my young adult life, to her position as an older Asian woman in a developed and admired role, to the guidance that she provides to my beloved Bus Kids. But one of the things I feel is most underrated about her is the way in which she represents the recovery arc that stories like Daisy’s and Fitz’s can only really tell us about.

That is, the story that recovery takes time, and work, and self-love. And that it is not about climbing back to the person you were before, but rather, being able to walk onward. Whether that’s with your head held high, or dragging your own battered body uphill through the snow both ways. With her trauma happening pre-narrative, the whole show functions as May’s recovery ‘arc’: we learn of the trauma, then outward from that flows the nature of the trauma and of the impact that it had, but alongside that - pieced in between it - we see May embracing some parts of herself that have emerged since the trauma, but also, searching for the parts of her old self that she wants back and figuring out how to achieve them within the bounds of her new self; eg, family, love.

Structuring this in such a way, the show guarantees us at least one arc that truly captures the idea that recovery is never truly ‘over’. Decades since her trauma, May is still affected by ideological, emotional, and even physical reminders of it. Sometimes they set her back, but sometimes she finds herself surprisingly well-equipped to respond. It is made clear that it’s unlikely she will ever fully shake the impact of Bahrain, but it’s also clear that there is so much else in her life now; the combination of which I think is so important.

Fitzsimmons + 297. I think you might be pregnant.

I hope you don’t mind that I added a bit of Daisy in to the first part here :)

Jemma leans her head against the cold, tile wall behind her and rubs at her eyes thinking that maybe what she had just seen wasn’t real and it would vanish if only she thought hard enough.

“Jemma…” she can hear Daisy whisper from beside her as a hand comes to rest lightly on her shoulder. “What are you thinking…?”

Jemma does not answer her friend, instead, sighing and moving her hands so that they cover her entire face.

“Are you okay, Jems?” Daisy asks and Jemma can hear her friend settling onto the ground beside her.

“I just don’t know what’s happened…” Jemma sighs as she finally uncovers her face and turns to look at Daisy.

“Well… I’m not the one with a biology degree…” Daisy jokes dryly, “but I think you might be pregnant.”

“I know that, Daisy,” Jemma huffs, a laugh escaping with the words despite the distress that still covers her face. “I just don’t know how it’s happened…”

“Jemma Anne Simmons!” Daisy exclaims, her words colored with an affected tone of shock. “Did your mum not talk to you about the birds and the bees?”

“Oh Daisy…” Jemma sighs, her growing frustration with her best friend showing in her voice.

“Hey you’re the one that said it, not me,” Daisy says holding her hands up between them as if defending herself.

“I just meant that I thought we’d been more careful than that. I mean we-”

“Stop right there,” Daisy interrupts. “If you ever want to see me again, you will not finish that sentence.”

Jemma ignores her friend’s outburst as she closes her eyes to think again. “I’m gonna have to tell Fitz…” she finally whispers after a few moments.

“Yeah… that would probably be important. How are you gonna do it?”

“That is a really good question…”

-/-

Later that day, Jemma paces across the kitchen of her and Fitz’s apartment as she waits for him to return from working with Mack. She stops in her tracks when she hears the sound of his key in the lock. She takes a deep breath and then he opens the door.

“Hey Jem,” he says with a smile when he sees her. “I thought you were planning to work late today.”

Jemma leans up against the edge of the kitchen island for support as he crosses the entry way to stand on the opposite side of it.

“I came home early,” Jemma mumbles. “Wasn’t feeling too well.”

“Oh no,” Fitz soothes, walking around the island to place a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead. “I know you said something about feeling off yesterday, as weel. I hope it’s nothing too serious,” he says when he pulls back, replacing their lost contact with a gentle hand on her arm.

“Well no…” Jemma starts, looking away from his eyes to where his thumb is rubbing small circles across her sweater. “But it is something we need to talk about…”

“What are you getting on about?” Fitz asks softly, the pace of his words betraying the worry he always tries to hide from her. “Jemma, are you alright?” He gently reaches his other hand between them to pull her chin back up so he can meet her eyes. “You’re starting to worry me.”

“I’m fi- well we’re fine rather…” Jemma finally whispers.

“We’re…?” Fitz asks, puzzled by her choice of words. “Well, of course, I’m fine, Jem. We are talking about you.”

“Not me and you…” Jemma trails off. She takes a deep breath before continuing, her eyes locked onto his. “Me and… the baby…”

“The…” Fitz stares at Jemma, unable to say more. His eyes break away from hers to flit down to her stomach, lingering there a moment before he meets her eyes one again. “Baby…?”

“Surprise,” Jemma says quietly, tensing as she waits for him to respond.

Fitz pulls her into a tight embrace, lifting her feet off the floor and twirling them both slowly. “Are you serious?” he asks after he returns her to the floor. “Are we really having a baby?”

Jemma cannot help but mirror the smile that has taken over his face. “So you’re happy?”

“Of course I am, Jemma!” Fitz exclaims, reaching his hands up to place them on either side of her face before kissing her deeply. “Aren’t you…?” he asks nervously after he pulls back.

“I am,” Jemma asserts quickly, seeing his body relax at her words. “I was just nervous about how you’d take it. I know we both want to have kids but we’d always talked about waiting a bit longer so I wasn’t-” Jemma rambles until Fitz cuts her off with another quick kiss.

“I love you so much, Jemma Simmons,” Fitz assures her. “And I am ready to have a child with you,” he says as he places a hand gently against her stomach, “even if it’s coming a little earlier than we’d planned.”

Jemma closes the small distance between them and pulls him close so that she can rest her head against his chest. “I love you too, Leopold Fitz,” she says, smiling at the face she can imagine him pulling at the sound of his first name, “and I cannot wait to have a baby with you.”

“Just promise me one thing,” Fitz says, wrapping his arms around her. “If it’s a boy, we won’t name him Leopold?”

“Deal,” Jemma says as she settles against his chest so that she can better hear his heart beating inside.

send me a number and a ship and i’ll write you a drabble

I hope you don’t mind that I made this a bit of a follow up to the fs baby fic i wrote for @hermionesimmonss​ last night

“Jemma.”

Jemma can hear Fitz’s whisper clearly and she sighs silently, her hopes that his rustling would quiet and would go back to sleep now dashed.

“Shh… I’m sleeping,” she whispers back, her eyes still closed.

“I know you’re currently suffering from a small bit of baby brain,” Fitz teases quietly, “but did you really think that would actually work?”

Jemma pushes against the mattress below her so she can roll onto her back before moving to sit up against their headboard.

“Not really, but a girl can hope?” she jokes back as she settles into this new position.

“Do you think…” Fitz sighs and Jemma can see his brow furrow as he stares down at their bed.

“Oh Fitz,” Jemma soothes, placing her hand on top of where his own rests on the sheets. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you think… that I… can really be a good father?” He avoids her eyes until he is finished speaking but when he meets her gaze, he finds a small tear running down her cheek. He moves to speak but Jemma holds a finger up between them before he can.

“Of course you are going to be a good father. You’re going to be an amazing father.”

“But I never had a- I don’t know how…” he sighs, looking down to where their hands 

“Of course you know how. Look-” she says forcefully when he tries to interrupt her. “You may not have had a perfect father, but you know what you wanted him to be.”

“So…” Fitz asks flatly.

“So… you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. And the fact that you asked me this question at…” she pauses to look at the clock beside the bed, “3:24 in the morning shows me how much you already care about this baby. So if the smartest, most caring man I know can’t figure out how to love his child, then everything I know is a lie.”

“Smartest, huh?” Fitz jokes, a small smile finally breaking through his worried expression.

“Smartest man, I believe I said,” she teases back as they both move to settle a little lower on the bed. “I’ve still got one more Ph.D,” she adds causing them both to laugh.

“Oh I remember,” Fitz chuckles as Jemma lowers her head to rest on his chest. “Have I ever told you how much I love you, Jemma Simmons?” he whispers, looking down to find her eyes already closing.

“Once or twice, I believe,” she sighs, shifting beside him.

“Shall I tell you again?” he asks, aware that she is already nearing sleep.

“Mmhmm,” she sighs, and he can feel her rubbing soft circles on his chest with her thumb for just a moment before he senses the tell-tale change in her breathing.

“My love for you is wider than the universe,” he whispers as he feels her movements slow. “Wider than the distance that separated us for six months, and more complex than the framework that tried to keep me from you,” he finishes knowing she is asleep.

look out for part 3 of this little baby series coming soon!

send me a ship and a number and I’ll write you a drabble

I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be (Right in front of me)

Not the family she’ll never have, but the one she’s always had.

I Found ~ Daisy & the Team