#aomaf

A cool winter breeze danced across my cheeks as I pulled my tattered hood further around my face. It was midday now, and I had been out here for hours searching for game in the glistening snow. The further I traveled into the woods, the more I prayed to the long forgotten gods– any of them, that I would stumble across something, anything, that I could kill for food. My hands were cold, so cold I wasn't sure I'd even be able to draw my bow without all of my fingers breaking off like glass.

The empty pit in my stomach grew larger with each step I took. We had run out of bread yesterday and the remainder of our dried meat the day before. Feyre and I had rationed our food so that the others might eat and preserve some of their weight for the coming winter. It was Feyre's idea, my dear sister had a heart bigger than mine. I didn't want to give my food to Nesta or Elain, they did nothing to help me and Feyre each day when we worked our asses off to keep everyone alive. If anyone needed the extra rations it was us– we had turned gangly at this point, being able to identify one too many ribs with little meat on our bones.

We were desperate. In a last ditch effort to try to cover more ground and increase our odds of finding a decent game, we decided to part ways on our hunt. As dangerous as it was, we had never done this before, usually choosing to stick together for safety from the dangers that lurked within the depths of the forest. I cursed Nesta and Elain under my breath. My father is not fit for hunting with his crippled leg, but Nesta and Elain were perfectly capable. Now, whether they'd actually be successful is another story, but if any creature crossed Nes's path she'd be able to take it down just with one glare. Yet they did nothing. They simply demanded that Feyre and I do all the work.

Fucking cowards.

Feyre and I were the youngest. Twins born into wealth that quickly was taken from our family. I hardly remembered what it was like to not have to scrounge for food or warmth. Much less, what it was like to be happy.

I shuddered as the wind picked up. I could faintly hear the trickling of water up ahead, and I realized I had traveled much further than I had meant to. Even if I were to stumble upon a deer, I wouldn't have time to properly gut it and haul it back before nightfall, and I would surely be taken over by the giant wolves that have recently been seen roaming this close to the wall. Feyre and I had heard the whispers in the town of neighboring villages being burned to ash by creatures of nightmares. I always brushed the thought off– fae weren't allowed to pass through the wall– hadn't been able to in centuries. It seemed more likely to me that neighbor was turning on neighbor, especially if those neighboring villages were as bad off as ours. People will do anything to survive.

Breaking through the treeline, I trudged through the snow into a narrow clearing with a small waterfall. Much of the spring was frozen over, save a small stream of water off the waterfall that continued to run down the length of the glen. In the summer Feyre and I would come here to cool off and get some reprieve from our family. The few fond memories I have of the past few years were here, just me and her. I didn't care much for Nesta or Elain, and father was simply an ideal more so than someone I counted as a member of our house. Just another mouth to feed.

In the summer this glen was full of berries. I would often relax in the spring and eat the sweet fruit to my heart's content. I would not find such luxury now. All the foliage was covered in a thick sheet of snow and ice. In its own way, it was beautiful– peaceful. Everything was so quiet I could hear my own breathing, almost imagine hearing my own heartbeat.

I love Feyre, but a part of me loves this peace and solitude more than anything. It was refreshing– this was the kind of peace and quiet that made me forget about the unfortunate life that we lived. I was able to let go of the burdens of having to grow up much too quickly so that Feyre and I could provide for our family. Even at a young age, when everyone else had given up hope, Feyre and I decided to be the rocks that would not break against whatever storm was thrown our way. We would not yield to a life in poverty. So, we stepped up and taught ourselves to hunt and barter so that our family might survive.

I sighed, a stream of smoke billowing out from my breath. There was no point in traveling further, I would have to turn back and make my way home. If I was lucky, I would come across a rabbit or two on the way. Hell, I'd even take a squirrel. Given this was the only running water source for miles, it was likely many creatures came through this area. With one last effort, I drew my dagger sheathed at my thigh and slowly crept to the edge of the waterfall. I was hopeful I could catch something, anything hiding within the rocks. Knowing the looks that Nesta and Elain would give me, returning home empty handed was not an option.

A part of me wished to take Feyre and live on our own out here in the forest. If it weren't for us being the only reason the three back at the cottage were alive, she would be all for it. Just me and Feyre alone out here with the stars to keep us company. I would finally have peace and she would finally be able to paint until her heart's content.

I shook my head and drew my dagger closer. I could hear faint rumbling of something within the blackness of the rocks behind the waterfall. It sounded large enough to hopefully be able to feed my family for a week. Maybe even provide enough hide for a new pair of boots for Feyre. I knew whatever animal she found she would either trade the hide or use it to make Nesta or Elain something. Inching closer, I controlled my breathing so that I wouldn't give my position away. I was smaller than Feyre, and quicker on my feet. She often remarked that I moved much like a shadow, and that was exactly my intention in this moment.

I paused, my heart pounding in my ear. The rustling I heard had ceased, and in its wake, I felt a tug in my chest pulling me closer to the darkness of the rocks. My breath hitched as I lost my balance, falling to my knees in the alcove beneath the waterfall. As my knees hit the frozen ground, the world around me was cast into endless night.

"What the–" I gasped, reaching out in front of me expecting to feel the cool rocks I had been near, but was met with silky wisps of shadow that whirled around my outstretched hand. I no longer heard the trickling of the waterfall behind me, and shivered as the air had grown even colder. Taking a deep breath, I noticed that even the scent on the air had changed. I no longer smelled the crisp, frozen glen, but rather night chilled mist and cedar. A stark contrast to the pines of this forest.

I knew I should be afraid, but strangely enough I wasn't. This wasn't the first time I had found myself in this type of darkness. I'd found comfort in this before, in my dreams. I felt the wisps of shadow pulling me to my feet and urging me to continue moving forward. I don't know why, but the shadows brought me peace. In my heart I knew they would not hurt me, and I found comfort in them as more began to embrace me in my own cloak of darkness.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, even though I knew there was no one around to give me an answer.

The shadows seemed to hum in response, something which had never happened before in my dreams. In front of me, the darkness parted to reveal a beautiful mountainscape with a bustling city below nestled on the edge of a seaside. I was on a veranda of sorts, high in the mountains. There was a figure to my left, two massive, membranous wings protruding from his back– so dark in color and shrouded in tendrils of shadow that I was unable to make out further detail.

The male was serene, seemingly lost in deep thought as I approached. I felt a tug in my chest beckoning me closer to him. His face was turned away, and I could not make out many features past his dark hair and tall frame. Even from this distance I knew he would tower over me, I was the shortest in my family, and of all the people in our village I had never come across a man as tall or as blessed with strength as the male before me.

The scent of cedar grew stronger as I approached, and just as I reached to grasp his arm to turn him, I was thrown back onto the frozen ground of the glen as a rabbit surged past me, desperate to escape my presence.

I remained on the frozen bank of the spring trying to ease my racing heart and staggered breathing. That– that had never happened before in my dreams with the shadows. I had never seen that city before– that male with wings. It felt so real, as if I had been drawn into another world. A world that felt more at home than the one I was currently in.

Before I realized, I felt the sting of the cold trail down my cheek. Reaching up, I felt the tears on my cheek and couldn't hold back the tears that followed. It felt like home. That beautiful seaside city in the mountains. That was it. Home. Not this godforsaken forest. Not the decrepit and cramped cottage with the frozen muddy pits of streets in the village. No, he was my home. The rational part of me wept at the realization I would never come to see that dream come to pass. A winged male in the mortal realm? Absolutely not, and as a human the idea is completely insane.

I mourned my wretched mundane life void of happiness on the forest floor until the moon was high in the sky and the air had turned downright deathly cold. It took all the effort I possessed to bring myself out of my pitiful state and force myself to make the long trek back to the cottage. I didn't even try to forage for food, not in this dark. I had strayed for far too long lost in my own thoughts. A momentary weakness I would ensure did not happen again. I was dealt this hand in life, and I would overcome it.

Thankfully, I avoided running into any trouble on the way back through the woods, and arrived shortly after Feyre had. Luckily, she had snagged a deer and managed to take down a wolf as well. The pelt was beautiful and would fetch a pretty penny at the market. Grazing the fur with my bare hand, I couldn't help but shudder at the silky smooth fur– it was too soft for the usual wolves that hunted these woods. A sour feeling settled within my gut, and I feared for Feyre, for what she had done. We shared a knowing look, but said nothing as we turned to silently prepare the fresh kill for our dinner, and preserve the rest for future use. Nesta nor Elain made any move to help, nor did they seem appreciative Feyre managed to bring anything home.

"A part of me wants to hold my ground and refuse to go out anymore until those two learn how to pull their own weight around here," I vented to Feyre under my breath as I sliced a piece of meat, "bloody nice kill though sis. You deserve an extra ration for hauling it all the way back here."

Feyre shook her head, "We couldn't expect that of them. And I'm fine, really," she gave me a quick look before returning to her task, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I dismissed.

She sighed, "Something has upset you, did something happen out there?"

"I'm just a little tired of the unanswered dreams these days. It will pass."

Feyre did not pry further, and for that I was grateful. She was always more adept at being able to discern how I was feeling, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. It was her talent, I suppose. At times I was grateful, sometimes talking it out made the burden easier to bear, but how could I tell her about what I saw? It wasn't worth it, and there was too much work to be done.

I dissociated from conversation with anyone for the rest of the night, and made quick work of cutting and preserving the rest of the meat. At some point Feyre and Nesta got into an argument about firewood, and while typically I would be the one to set Nesta in her place, Feyre held her own ground and I was thankfully able to avoid that confrontation. After a long day, we had both decided we needed to get in bed as early as we could so that we could get to the market first thing in the morning. We were hoping to barter for enough coin to get Feyre some more paint. She had exhausted all of her resources painting our small cottage with the few colors she had.

A small smile graced my lips as I glanced at the dresser she had painted for all of us. The top drawer was decorated with flowers, befitting Elain and her kind nature. Nesta, with all her anger and unmatched will, had robust flames adoring her drawer just below. Feyre and I, in typical fashion, had to share a drawer, which was painted reminiscent of the night sky. It was a joy of ours, to go out and watch the night sky and look up to the stars. Twins, through and through, with twin souls of shining stars in forever night.

There had to be more to life than this.

I would make sure Feyre got out of this, if it was the last thing I do.

The trip to the market was rather disappointing, we weren't able to trade as many coins as we had hoped for the wolf pelt. I took what supplies we were able to purchase and carried them back to the cottage before Feyre, Nesta, and Elain left the market. Father, as usual, was sitting in front of the fire carving away at another wooden figurine. I opened my mouth to speak to him, to try to have a conversation, but I found it difficult to conjure any words. My heart yearned to have a relationship with him. Feyre found it easy, and she would be content to sit there by the fire and talk to him, but I just– I couldn't. Perhaps that made me a coward, so be it.

Beside the fire, I did notice that Nesta actually did her job and managed to restock our firewood supply. I smirked, Feyre finally got through to her then.

When Feyre, Nesta, and Elain finally returned, I already had prepared a warm meal of the venison from yesterday for dinner. Aside from father, we all gathered around the table and ate our dinner, surprisingly managing to have pleasant conversations all around. Nesta and Elain were whispering and laughing together, gods only knows over what. Feyre had mentioned that she had given them some money to spend in market to appease their recent sour moods, and our sisters had spent every penny.

I looked back at father and noticed that he had fallen asleep in his chair by the fire, his empty plate discarded on the floor beside him. With a sigh, I stood and moved to pick it up and pull his blanket closer around his shoulders, when a loud crash resonated through our small cottage followed by a roar that sent a shiver down my spine.

I was not prepared for what I saw at our doorway. Nesta and Elain screamed, huddling in the corner as far away from the beast as they could get while Feyre and I drew our daggers and did our best to put ourselves between the growling figure and our family. Snow fell into our home steadily as the beast with golden fur advanced, its eyes never leaving Feyre.

"MURDERERS!" The best roared on its hind legs, revealing a mouth full of fangs. Without a doubt this beast was faerie. That wolf Feyre had killed– it had to have been one of them as well.

I wasn't sure how my sister and I were going to take this beast down with the simple hunting knives we had in our hands, but I knew damn well I'd put up one hell of a fight before I let this beast anywhere near my family. Sharing a glance with my twin, it seemed Feyre had the same idea as we looked at the beast's neck– seemed like there would be some major vessels there that would do serious damage if severed.

"MURDERERS!" The beast roared again, causing our sisters to scream in fear again. Behind us, I head father moving from his chair.

"P-please," He pleaded, "Whatever we have done, we did so unknowingly–"

"W-w-we didn't kill anyone," Nesta sobbed, clutching Elain closer and raising her arm with the iron band higher. I snorted, as if that would help her.

"Leave," I spoke with authority, raising my chin and doing my best to get rid of the fear in my bones. The beast only snarled at me in response, exposing its neck as it turned to watch Feyre grabbed for a dinner knife.

Without a second thought, I threw my dagger at the beast, aiming for his neck, hoping for the best. Moving faster than I could track, the beast swatted my knife out of the air and snapped at me, causing me to stumble back and trip over my own feet.

I knew then it could have killed me– if it had really wanted to. That had merely been a warning. One that I would heed, at least until I was able to get my hands on better weapons.

"WHO KILLED HIM?" The beast asked, its eyes darting between my sister and myself.

"Killed who?" Feyre asked, trying her best to stand firm in the beast's wake. I stayed just behind her, crouched on the ground in front of our father and ready to spring into attack with my bare hands if need be. I could poke its eyes out with my hands as Feyre sliced at its flesh with the knives she held. It might be enough to get our family out.

"The wolf. The large wolf north of here with the gray coat. Who killed him?" He snarled, taking a step closer.

I stood, still in a poised stance, "If it was mistakenly killed, what payment can we offer in atonement?"

With a growl, the beast charged, stopping just when I felt his breath on my face, "Who killed him?"

I started to speak, to cover for Feyre, but she beat me before words could form, "I did."

"Feyre, no–" I tried to reach for her but the beast swatted my hand away. I didn't even register my entire body was moving until I was across the room, my head colliding with the stone hearth with a sickening crack that resonated throughout the room. I saw Nesta reaching out for me, a sob caught in her throat as Feyre charged at the beast. The world around me went dark despite my efforts to stay awake, and I found myself lulled back into the world of my dreams as the silky black tendrils of shadows wrapped me in a comforting embrace.

Karina–

Karina–

I groaned, burning my face in the silky shadows– no, silk sheets. I was in a bed, not on the floor anymore. My body shifted as a weight settled in behind me.

I could feel a warmth spread across my waist as an arm snaked around my front, "Even my brothers do not sleep as heavily as you," I could feel the smile gracing his lips, "Although, given last night's... festivities, I suppose you deserve a day to recover in bed," he laughed, the sound like smooth honey spreading warmth through a tug in my chest. He had shifted so that he was now lying entirely behind me, his body pressed against mine as he nuzzled my cheek in a sweet embrace.

For a moment, I felt entirely at peace, content to lay in the arms of this male that smelled of chilled night mist and cedar, but a part of me knew this would not last. With one last tug in my chest, I felt the world around me distort, but before the world faded away completely, I heard the male, this time strained, as he spoke again.

"I need you to be strong. I will find you."

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