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And yet, you went on that date. And another after that. And another one. Until kisses became familiar. Until sleeping in the same bed wasn’t awkward anymore. Until having him all over you was something you both wanted, if not needed. And yet, something still bugged you.

You pride yourself on being able to read people. On knowing what they would say and how they would act even before they did it. And perhaps, you had always been aware of what Rin was thinking. You just didn’t want to believe that after a whole year of being together, three years of friendship, he could throw it all away so easily because he wasn’t truly in love with you. Because he had never stopped being in love with Shiemi.

So when he came to you that afternoon, it shouldn’t have blindsided you. But it still did.

“I think we should break up,” he said, with such casualness. As if he were announcing he was going out for a walk. As if he hadn’t held you the whole night before.

“Rin… what—?” You couldn’t even form words. What could you even say? What was there to say?

“Just— it doesn’t feel right. I’m sorry, I— just, I still wanna be friends, okay? I’ll see you around,” he said, with those damned eyes that, even now, as he completely tore your heart out, were looking at you with nothing but softness. With nothing but care. If not a bit of pity.

And with that, he left.

Leaving you alone in the middle of your dorm room, staring off into space, incredulous at what had just happened. You couldn’t quite understand how someone who had said, “I love you. You’re the light of my life,” just one day earlier could now leave you so easily. And worst of all, be sucking off Shiemi’s face mere hours after breaking things off with you.

You weren’t sure what hurt more. His betrayal or her’s. Or maybe, the way the others didn’t even bat an eye. As if they had been waiting for this. As if they had almost expected it to happen.

“I mean, what did you expect? That guy’s an idiot, and he’s been crushing on Shiemi for years now,” Izumo had said nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on her manga without even acknowledging your presence.

“That’s Okumura for ya,” Bon had simply said as he excused himself, going back to help Lightning.

Shima had just laughed and Miwa had given you a sorrowful look, but at the end of the day, it seemed they all believed the same thing and you were the odd one out.

And so as days passed and you naturally started to distance yourself from them, you noticed how they… almost didn’t care. Maybe they truly didn’t. They walked in a group, all so fitting. The perfect number. Bon and Izumo. Miwa putting up with Shima. And Rin with Shiemi. You didn’t fit in the equation and that was painfully obvious.

So that same night, three weeks after everything went down, when Angel approached you with an offer for a better position in one of the foreign exorcist branches, you didn’t have to think twice about your answer.

Despite the subtle melancholy settling in your chest, your hands began packing your essentials. A ring you thought you had lost tumbled out of your jacket’s inner pocket. The same ring Rin had given you after your first date as an official couple. A “promise.” Or so he had said. A promise of his eternal love. His care. His heart. The thin silver band felt cold in your palm. Light and meaningless, just like Rin’s words from that day.

By the time you finished packing, it was late at night. Late enough to hear the cicadas buzzing outside your window, accompanied by the warm breeze of the summer night. One last look, one last thought, and you left the room without looking back. Your shoes echoed in the empty, silent corridor. Almost ironic, in a way. While everyone was outside celebrating the Gion Matsuri, you were here. Alone. Empty. Just like these hallways.

You reached what you had been looking for, Rin’s dorm. You stepped inside quietly, not lingering for too long. One gentle pet to the sleeping cat on his bed and then you left the ring alongside a letter on his desk. It should have felt liberating. But instead, it felt like nothing.

That feeling of emptiness, maybe even discomfort, you get when you finish the last chapter of a very bad book. That’s how it felt. And so, you turned back as your feet carried you out once more, without looking back.

When Rin woke up that morning his head throbbed to the point he almost saw double. He felt like shit. He smelled like shit. But most of all he felt suffocated. Like there was a presence so heavy in the room that almost knocked the breathing out of his lungs. He quietly and carefully separated his limbs from the sleeping blonde at his side, leaving a soft kiss to her forehead before placing a loosely wrapped robe around his naked body. 

On his way to the bathroom something sparkly on his desk caught his attention. He didn’t recognise the ring immediately, but he did recognise the handwriting on the letter. And so, he picked up both the letter and the ring, heading to the bathroom, closing the door behind him carefully. 

Dear Rin,

I don’t know how to start this, and I don’t think I ever will. What do you even say to someone who once promised you forever, only to take it back like it meant nothing? What do you say to someone who looked at you with love one day and at someone else the next?

I think I always knew. The way you looked at her, the way you spoke about her, the way your heart was never fully in it when you were with me. I told myself I was imagining things. That I was insecure. That I was just being paranoid. But the truth is, I was just ignoring what was right in front of me. I refuse to do that anymore.

I won’t pretend I didn’t love you, I did. With everything I had. And maybe that’s why this hurts so much. Because I wasn’t just losing a boyfriend, I was losing the person I thought was my home. But homes don’t make you feel like an afterthought. They don’t make you feel like second best.

So I’m leaving. Not just you, not just this place, but everything that ever tied me to you. By the time you read this I’ll already be gone. Italy. The right hand to the Paladin, if you can believe it. I’m not angry. I’m not even sad anymore. I just feel… empty. Like I wasted so much love on someone who never really wanted it. But that’s okay. I’ll find someone who does.

And you will have her. The one you always wanted. I hope it was worth it.

Goodbye Rin.

P.S. – You can keep the ring. It was never really mine to begin with, was it?

Rin read the letter again. Then again. A second, a third, a fourth time. The words blurred together as he tried to blink the tears away.

He hadn’t expected this. But, what had he expected? 

His fingers tightened around the letter, knuckles white. The ring sat in his other hand and for a moment he just stared at it.

Something inside him twisted painfully. His first instinct was to move, to do something, anything. His feet moved before he could truly think. Urging him outside the bathroom and towards the front door of his room. His hand was already reaching for the handle as if he could stop this. As if he could still find you. But the second his fingers brushed against the cold metal he froze.

You were already gone. You made that clear enough in your words. His grip on the doorknob loosened, his shoulders slumping. His breath felt tight in his chest, but he didn’t know why.

This was what he had wanted, wasn’t it?

Shiemi was still sleeping peacefully in his bed, curled up where he had left her, her golden hair spilling across the sheets like something out of a dream. He had made his choice.

And yet…

He looked back down at the letter, at the neat, steady handwriting, the way it didn’t waver, not even once. The words weren’t angry. They weren’t desperate. They weren’t even sad.

They were final.

Rin swallowed hard. For the first time, he wondered if he had made a mistake.