#anymeme

“ j-jude, i know- i know it’s late but, ” his words were coming out fast and SLURRED, lost between the small gasping breaths he took as he tried to regain his usually controlled composure. but gabriel was LONG past that now, his cheeks wet with tears and glistening under the MOONLIGHT as he drove down the dark streets of astoria. stop fucking crying. frustration with himself rising, he slammed the heel of his palm against the steering wheel of his car and took in a deep, shuddering breath, trying to make his voice LOUD and clear for jude. “ do you- do you mind if i come over ? i just, i need - ” he huffed. after what just happened, what he just did ? gabriel needed some fucking help. PROFESSIONAL help. but here he was, on his way to jude’s apartment instead. “ -please, ” he pleaded softly to her, licking his lips. it was a tense silence as he waited for an answer, her hesitation making the moment feel like YEARS to him, but the moment she had said yes he breathed out a thank you and was already on his way out the car. her door opened only SECONDS after he had knocked and for a minute, they simply stared at each other. or rather, gabe let her stare at him. gabriel hadn’t so much glanced at a WINDOW since the fight, but he knew he must have looked like a mess. his face stung and ached in various areas and when he he flexed his knuckles, they felt sore and STIFF. “ i’m okay, ” gabriel whispered hoarsely, a poor attempt to prevent the fuss he was sure was about to come. staggering into her place, he couldn’t help it when his legs gave OUT underneath him, simply from pure exhaustion. he tried to catch himself by weakly grabbing at jude’s wrists, her hips, but it didn’t help. so he simply just sat there, on his knees before the only woman person he would be okay with seeing him like THIS. too tired to pull himself back up, gabriel rested his forhead against her stomach, his cheeks and eyes creating DAMP spots against her shirt. “..i’m sorry, i didn’t know where else to go..” his frail words muffled by her shirt, the VULNERABILITY spilling from him as fast as he wished the DARKNESS he believed to be there did. gabriel let his mind wander, trying to escape the invading thoughts and memories of tonight’s earlier events and suddenly, he let out a meek chuckle. “ it’s like.. me getting into stupid shit is the only thing that brings us together, ” gabriel slowly pulled away so that he could look up at her with a small smile, “ do you remember ..? prom night.. i fought that idiot boyfriend of yours.. ” he was looking elsewhere now, his thoughts becoming distracted as the night played itself in his head like a REEL. “ but.. i don’t regret that night. not a single moment.. ” gabriel looked back up at her, his dark eyes meeting her beautiful blue ones. the same ones that often haunted him in his dreams and plagued his conscience, “ i loved that night actually, i.. you told me.. ” he let his voice trail. she knew what he was talking about, did it still really need saying ? even after twenty years, what was between them that night, was still there, between them THIS night and despite everything, it brought some warmth into him, knowing that that was true.

TO MY DEAR MUTUALS,