#anubis fluff

( 𝓓O NOT DISTURB ) 𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗯𝗶𝘀 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. ᯽ sfw +++ fluff. the god of death can't stay quiet when he is so happy to have his wife in his arms.

it’s quiet, suspiciously quiet, that you start to wonder what's happening in the outside world, even if you are still in dreamland.

sitting in ANUBIS's lap, comfortably settled while your head rests against his chest, as he hums under his breath, claws tracing lazy shapes on your thighs, rocking you slightly as you enjoy the peace for once. eyes closed, napping on your lover's body, brain empty, finally relaxing, and then...

“aaaaaaa—!!!”

you have never woken up so fast that you jolt so hard you nearly headbutt him. “wha–!?” you shout, head spinning and looking around because surely no one is going to surprise attack you or try to fight with mister jackal head over here.

his eyes go wide, a bright and sharp toothy grin shows on his face, and you imagine a puppy tail wagging at catastrophic speed from excitement because, believe it or not, he is basically vibrating with joy.

“i'm happy!” he yells proudly, and his hands gripped your legs tighter as his golden claws dig in, and you were so used to the pain that you didn't even feel it. “i just remembered that i'm happy, so so so sooo happy~”

“you screamed in my ear.”

“i'm sorry, i'm sorry! i forgot you were resting...”

"i am..." you say carefully, lips thinning, an eye twitching despite yourself, "...going to destroy you.”

anubis blinks once, then he laughs loudly, booming with the same voice that guides souls into the afterlife. his chest vibrates against your back as he tightens his hold, thick arms wrapping around you like iron bands, all carved muscle and divine warmth. shiftting his weight and suddenly you’re bouncing slightly on his lap, entirely at his mercy.

“cuddles for my lovely wife!” he chants happily, voice lilting, almost reverent, like a prayer murmured at an altar, “stay, stay, stay, stay with me!”

you sag against him, exhausted, the contrast of who he is as a god, a ruler of the underworld, cloaked in jackal-headed legends and funerary rites, reduced to this hyper, affectionate menace with biceps that could crush stone and a grin too wide to take seriously.

“anubis,” you warn, deadpan, not even turning your head. “if you yell again, i will leave and never come back, and no, i don't care that we are married.”

“oh...” he straightens immediately, nodding far too fast. “then i will be quiet! so quiet you won’t even know i’m alive!” leaning with lips brushing near your ear as he whispers the promise, hopeful and earnest, like a child trying desperately to behave.

you sigh, so tired and defeated, but finally, not a single sound comes out of his mouth; he nods furiously again as if sealing a sacred vow when silence falls. you can rest without worrying about getting disturbed again, because a happy wife means a happy life.

“i love, love, love you~!"

not even three seconds as you groan and bury your face in his chest. “i can't with you sometimes..."

“but you’re still sitting on me,” your husband says smugly, and unfortunately, you are still in his lap. he beams, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, arms locked around you like a victory prize. humming happily, rocking slightly, like an overgrown puppy who just got told he’s allowed on the couch.

this time, he actually stays quiet... for almost a whole minute, but hey, that's a new record.

( 𝓙ELLYOUS ) 𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗯𝗶𝘀 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. ᯽ sfw +++ fluff. after searching for you all day, anubis finally finds you with another god. he panics, gets jealous, and nearly starts a divine extermination before he discovers the sweet reason you disappeared.

you’ve been missing all day, which, in ANUBIS's mind, is a crime of the highest order. he searched everywhere for you, starting from his chambers, then the gardens, looking around the arena, rummaging through the kitchen twice because he got hungry. even bothered brunhilde, bombarding her with a ton of questions, but he was quickly dismissed and was back at square one.

so when he finally spots you, his golden eyes go wide in excitement, as he opens his mouth to scream, alas, you are not alone. because the moment he had better visibility, he saw none other than buddha, who was standing way too close, making you laugh as you put your hand in front of your mouth… ironic enough that his soul leaves his body. ducking behind a pillar, peeking out like an offended jackal.

why are you smiling like that, and what did he say to make you laugh? what does he have that i don’t!?

his jealousy hits critical: he doesn’t think when his body charges before his mind does.

“wifey—!! wifey, wifey, wiefy!!” the shout echoes through all of valhalla, but buddha barely turns around to see him, lollipop still in his mouth, smirking at the way you yelp, instinctively hiding behind him. hands clutched tight behind your back like you’re holding a scroll with ancient and top secret information.

“back off, back off, back off!!!” anubis snarls and growls, his hands going everywhere in the air while pointing with his clawed nails. “i will murder you–”

buddha raises an eyebrow, amused, a lazy grin appears on his face as he waves with one hand to the other god. “yo, nubby-chan! whatcha doin’?”

anubis skids to a stop, claws scraping the floor, and you don’t need to peek from your friend to know that he is probably grimacing, brows furrowed, sharp teeth shining, “why are you so close to my wife?!”

the buddist glances back at you with his peripheral vision, and you are sweating, trembling, so anxious, it’s adorable actually. 

“we were just talking…” buddha says innocently, shrugging his shoulders, “right, princess?”

“y-yeah, totally! just talking about uh– philosophy!” you nod a little too fast, voice going slightly higher, even cracking in your tries to suppress the distress. your husband squints his eyes, then crunches his nose to sniff. you don’t smell like death: the worry is there, yes, but it isn’t a dying wish.

“why do you smell like sugar?” oh no. he sniffs again, stepping closer to the god that you are currently using as a shield, when with your free hand you grip his tank top. “and… honey, and bitter chocolate?”

you panic, and buddha, the traitor that he is, chuckles. “market was lively today, heh. thought i’d help (name)-chan with a little something.”

“help?” anubis’ ears perk, tilting his head and you sigh in defeat, stepping out from behind buddha, revealing what you’ve been hiding — a wrapped tray in gold, smelling divine, and he knows this smell way too well.

“i was making egyptian sweets,” you mumble, eyes glued to the ground from suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed, can't even look your lover in the eyes. “they are for you, i wanted it to be a surprise…”

silence fell upon, a little building anticipation when his face went blank, because sometimes his reactions are rather surprising.

“this is for me?!” anubis practically teleports to you, eyes sparkling, as he hugs your leg.

“you made them for me me me?” he gasps, gushing his cheek on your skin, “my wifey made sweets for me?”

“yes,” you pat his head, or more precisely, the jackal head piece, “if you stop yelling, maybe we can try them together."

he immediately clamps his mouth shut, nodding furiously, and holds you tighter and closer. buddha laughs at that, a big smile on his face in the process, “told ya, no betrayal here.”

anubis possessively glares at the other man again. “still mine.”

buddha raises his hands. “relax, pup. big brother privileges only.”

even if buddha treats you like a little sister, and you treat him like a big brother, he can't help but feel somehow possessive (and jealous) over the closeness you share. but then he looks up at you, beaming with so much joy that when he stands, you are suddenly lifted into the air, and you are in his arms, happily running away.

“i’m super duper happy!!” he blurts, and all you can do is wave at buddha and mutter a voiceless thank you.