#anti-dron

Ok- this is not me trying to shame anyone on what they like- this is just me going off on why I don’t personally like it, and how I see it approached often in the fandom.  Started thinking about it when I saw the Pro-Dramione post on HP confessions, but didn’t want to post this there, as I knew it’s turn into a ‘thing.’ :P I’m definitely overly sensitized from my own stuff and taking shipping of abusers/victims way too personally today, so I’m going off in a post I probably shouldn’t- but I just can’t help myself. 

I don’t hate Draco, actually. I know it sounds like it (and just wait til I really go off!)- but I find him interesting and like reading stories where he grows and changes and take responsibility for his terrible actions. I like drawing him every once in a while (have some Drastoria.) I’ve even had him show up in some fics from a long time ago- because I find him interesting.

Now in fics/art/comics people tend to skip the hard part of Draco’s redemption and just get straight to the ‘juicy/fun part’ of Draco getting with whomever. I get it. That’s the fun part of shipping. 

But for me, personally, I just get grossed out having the happy!shippy things going on, when there is so much history there and I didn’t get to see it addressed. It’s literally a weird trigger for me that makes me physically shudder.

The talk about it as a ‘beautiful story of forgiveness’ makes me get sick to my stomach. I’m not exagerating. It really makes me have a physical reaction. I’m a mess though (As so many of you on here know, as I am a book that is way too open). So I tend to physically react to things that relate to abuse type stuff. :P 

Now I really do believe that people can change for the better- and think Draco ended up doing this- but I really reaaaally don’t like people becoming romantically entangled with their abusers (or someone who abused their loved ones.) That is a dynamic that I find appalling. He wasn’t just a bully or doing harmless schoolyard teasing. He was a straight up abuser.

Mostly approaching this from the Anti-Dramione pov- as that was what I was reading:

So he began as a terror of a bully/abuser- This is a kid who threw around the equivalent of racial slurs on the regular. Tried to get an innocent animal killed. Went out of his way to emotionally torture her friends. Helped get her and her friends in the clutches of Umbridge (who physically and emotionally scarred students.)

If it had stopped there- maybe, just maybe I could be less averse to those ships? Maybe. It’d be hard work on his part, but maybe I could do it?

Then He physically assaulted her friends, and almost killed two innocent students (Alicia and Ron (the boy she loves)). He let murderers into the castle filled with kids and helped get Ron’s brother mauled. He had a chance to join Dumbledore and didn’t.

Then- during the war- he didn’t just sit and idly watch bad things go down. If he had, or better yet- if he had HELPED, I would have a different take on these ships. But no- during the war he actively helps the dark side. He dueled Harry and Ron when they were trying to save Hermione from Bellatrix and an approaching Voldemort (Hermione btw was about to be handed over to Fenrir, who it was implied was about to either r*pe her or tear her to shreds?) He tried to take Harry to Voldemort (who was gonna murder Harry).

Like.... I just can’t come to terms with all that going down- and any of them being ok with him intimately. You think she should forgive that? Not only forgive that- but then become entangled romantically with him? Or Harry should? Or Ron should? Ginny should? People honestly think there are enough conversations and actions that make it feasible?

Like I said- most fics/art/comics I see skip over all the steps he’d have to take to even be friends with them just to get to the ‘fun’ part of things. Again, I understand why.

For me I can appreciate Draco in things- It’s one thing for him to build relationships and friendships with people who he didn’t abuse/barely witnessed the abuses- but people who were there through the whole thing? It’s a big ol’ blech from me.

I’ve been in fandom for a long long time- and most fics typically skip over all that actual redemption very quickly- like one to two conversations of ‘I was really awful’ ‘you were, but I understand why- so let’s be friends’ and... yikes...

I am actually a very forgiving person. WAY TOO forgiving. I forgave a ton of abusers and bullies way more quickly than they deserved- and am working on it- because it just kept inviting those types back into my life. So these sorts of dynamics make me sad.

I want characters I’ve always liked and admired the strength and bravery of to continue to be that- to stand up for themselves and those they love. You can forgive others- but letting them into your life that intimately after all that history is really troubling for me.

Because it’s not just your relationship that would have to have this level of forgiveness- it’s also all the other relationships in your life. He abused all of them- horribly. He needs to work hard to gain the forgiveness of ALL of them- and it’d be messed up to be in a relationship with someone who would be a triggering nightmare for your friends. Like... You just can’t do that to people you love and friendships you value. 

‘I know he abused you, and almost got you murdered multiple times by his own direct actions- but we had a conversation and he’s being nice now- so let’s all collectively get over years and years of his abuse because he’s hawt and sowwy.’ 

Blech