#anotherstory

12th October. Data when MLP show closed with one of most interesting episodes about grown up Twilight and her friends. That all means we all grow up with MLP in our hearts and keep it inside. And we remember those cool and full of waiting new episodes times.

But... We grow, become older as Twlight does. Our friends get older too. And we tell about that full of Friendship and Magic show to next generation. And I hope they get so much excited from it as we was.

"Mari saling berkabar jika menemukan tempat yang kau cari."

Ingatan itu terbuka sendiri. Padahal sudah kusimpan dia di folder dengan folder yang berlapis. Itupun karena bagian itu tidak bisa dihapus karena menjadi satu kesatuan. Ya. Aku tidak akan mengelak lagi jika aku harus menutup semuanya untuk bisa kembali pulih. Sedang tidak baik-baik saja?

Aku bahkan tidak bisa lagi hanya untuk sekedar melihat nama temannya. Apalagi harus menyimpan kontaknya. kadang aku ingin minta maaf, tapi untuk apa? Tulisan ini masih tentang hal yang sama.

LONG POST!

And sorry for the English mistakes. ▶Léelo en Español aquí◀

A lot of time has passed in my angry hiatus caused by the Tumblr purge. Imagine it was like that: you're starting to do more 3rotic art and counting with THIS site to share it, but from one day to another, BOOM, bye-bye the opportunity. I still feel so betrayed, and more because in 2019-2020 I started a whole project (called Ambrosia, you will see it). See, this fanart of mine represents it all 😂 Before my hiatus here, I was very active as a player and fanartist in Mystic Messenger fandom. Yes, I said "I was".

I consider it important to make all points clear about this, because I have so many already old fanarts to upload about Mystic Messenger, and that doesn't mean I'm still on it. I'm even waiting for a moment when I have the animus to continue a lot of unfinished pieces, but I simply lost my love. Yes, the worst thing that can happen to you 😫 I lost my love for Mystic Messenger and for my favorite character, Saeran. Although that doesn't mean I don't love the memories I created in that fandom, with the game when I enjoyed it, with the beautiful fan arts I saw and artists I meet, and doesn't mean he's not my favorite anymore. He is. This is not the fault of the fandom nor the character's... but CHERITZ's fault.

So you are gonna see me uploading a lot of old art.

Almost FOUR YEARS of old art. And a lot of it (until 2020) is MysticMessenger related. I want to have this post as a reply to the question "Are you going to continue making MM-related things?" And the truth is, no. I may continue unfinished old things (as Ambrosia WIPs waiting for me), or share old things I still don't share, but I doubt I make something new (outside of, for example, commissions).

So...

WHY I LOST MY LOVE for Mystic Messenger?

Here comes the truth. This is all related to Saeran After Ending, so, WARNING!

⚠ SPOILERS, SPOILERS EVERYWHERE ⚠

I'm gonna put a list of Twitter links with numbers that show my reaction when I just played it. The rest of the text is below ⬇

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

(Also, look at this wonderful fanart that also describes my feelings -and that artist also felt betrayed by that AE-)

And here come the 101 reasons why. Angriness advertence! 🤬

As a veteran fan, I think I'm not the only one that wanted the Saeran route to be about Unknown since the start. ANYWAY, I didn't dislike the Ray/Suit!Saeran scheme, but the existence of Another Story opens new plot holes (especially related to how much time Saeran has "hated" Saeyoung, when did V and Rika really "adopted" them (what's their age?), since when Rika started the Mint eye thing, etc). With Saeran AE, they had a BIG OPPORTUNITY of closing a lot of these plot holes. But they didn't.

One of the main reasons I was disappointed is the OOC attitude of the characters, SAERAN INCLUDED (OOC = out of character). I'm not the only fan that felt as if the Cheritz creative writers changed and were all ignoring the character's personalities.

MC is treated as if she is a goddess, she fixes everything (while she is doing NOTHING more than be present). She is praised so much it gave me cringe. I also disliked the reply options we had.

Saeran FORGIVING his father after he almost killed him, is something really, REALLY inconceivable for me. It was the most ridiculous and toxic thing. Are you saying to me that a character that was in mentally ill chaos 'cause of the hate, just goes and forgives one of the persons that ruined his life the most??? NO. PLZ, NO. Yeah, forgiving is a healthy thing to do, but, you are NOT obliged to forgive a person that ruined your life. Just a little research of real-life people psychology explains that clearly.

The psychological accuracy failed, definitely. Saeran had a little of PSTD scenes, but not enough. He was now all bright and "I love you".

Speaking of the "I love you", I felt cloyed. I started to feel as if all was mere fanservice, very empty of the power of that words. He started to say it too much it lost its grace.

Oh, "THE POWER OF LOVE CURES IT ALL". Sorry, but I hate they used that excuse to fix everything. It was a lame shortcut to sum up the plot.

MC is just useless. And what made me most angry is that we are MC. The responses were so... ugh.

Rika, RIKA. She came out unscathed of ALL WHAT SHE DID. And the twin's father too. And I CAN'T FORGIVE THAT. I wanted JUSTICE.

The abuse of the twins during all the days of the AfterEnding was excessive in my opinion. GOOD ENDING? That felt like A NIGHTMARE for me.

The reunion between Saeran and Saeyoung was really disappointing. I wanted a process for them, I wanted to see Saeran progressively forgiving Saeyoung. Learning the truth, processing it, and DECIDING. Not it all happening in the middle of chaos where they were almost ENSLAVED.

Saeran was reckless, it hadn't sense. Where did all his security go? Where did went all that he learned while escaping prison as Magenta? He is supposed to have his personality finally unified, so he has the Suit!Saeran side in him... then, why does he refuse to fight that much? Why did he saw not forgiving as such a BAD thing?

The entire AE is like very dangerous and toxic advice that sounds like "you have to forgive your family because it's your family, it doesn't matter if they ruined your life and attempted to ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE since your whole birth". Do you know how many people end up in therapy with anxiety and depression or worst things because of a dysfunctional family? The messages Cheritz sent with MM as a game were (in general) good... until this happened.

Cheritz repeated again the formula of "the counterpart of the route is the enemy" with the V attitude. Although, I never thought of V as a good person.

For real, the only, ONLY things I enjoyed of the AE are that they showed V's true nature (I started to despise him very much in AnotherStory... it was sad for Jumin) and Vanderwood being very cool.

The writing repeats again and again what happened until it gets boring.

I WAS HOPPING Cheritz would remedy what they did in Secret endings, where they put therapy as if it was THE WORST THING in the world for Saeran. I was HOPING to see Saeran (and also Saeyoung) taking therapy and having finally a mentally healthy life. BUT NO, LET'S FIX IT ALL WITH THE POWER OF LOVE WUJUUU

Well. I know I spoke so much more with a friend on Whatsapp but it's gonna be impossible to find all that, and I think I said the most important points already. IT'S A LOT and could be more, I’m sure.

Trying to make me think better of this AE it's a lost cause, don’t even try it. It's been a time, and the strength of my disappointment was big enough.

Hope you get the point of why I was taken to such an extreme. If you are capable of still enjoying MM with the Saeran AE and all, good for you. But for me, it’s not.

I lift my eyebrows and the little man sitting across me mimicks my movement. He has scraggly hair and a gold tooth. My head tilts to the side and he follows my movement. I laugh quietly and his laughter drowns my quiet whimpers into silence. I cry. He slaps me on the face. My head whips to the side. He turns his back on me. I wish he would go away.

I stare across the room to the magnificent mirror adorning my wall. My pallor face stares back. There are dark circles under my lacklustre green eyes. The baggy clothes hanging on my scrawny frame give me the appearance of a scarecrow. I bite my tongue and look away.

I hear my mom call me for dinner. Her voice echoes in the silence of my mind as I make my way downstairs. Photographs of my brother and me adorn the edges of the staircase. I feel like a delicate passerby as I walk down the stairs. I can imagine the happy memories floating into each other. Isolating time. Creating a void through which no happiness can escape.

The void fills me up. It weaves patterns with the sounds of laughter. The patterns dance across my exterior. They breathe life into my brother. His voice carrying me across the world and to the past. It’s a beautiful escape. And one that gives me my brother back.

My mother’s reprimanding voice cracks through the void sharply. I enter the kitchen to see my parents staring at me reproachfully, sucking the happiness coating my crumbling body. I remember that my brother is an institute for attempting suicide. My shoulders hunch. My eyes droop. My face crumbles. I am disgusted at my fragility. I scream.

It escapes me in a hush of strong wind, the sound pumps me with strength and I pull the table cloth on which dinner is set. Chaos ensues. The spaghetti dish plunks to the floor and the glasses and plates and forks rattle against each other before flying and crashing against the wall. This jarring melody gives a voice to the cracking silence of my heart breaking. I think I’m still screaming. I want my parents to actually look at me. I am in pain. I want my parents to see that. I need them.

My parents look at me with anger and disgust. Its the way I look at myself in the mirror. I hope I’m wrong but I think that my parents hate me the way I hate myself.

I look out the window and I can imagine that little man with his scraggly hair and gold teeth staring at me angrily. He is too far away to slap me. He shakes his head at me. His frown deepens. Then a pause. His lips move. I feel devastated. My lips start moving of their own accord and painfully morph into a smile, the screams skidding against the walls of my mind fading into silence. I have lost.