#anothergoodbye

Morning routine and one more good bye #tornjak #valaliburna #puppiesofinstagram #goodmorning #feedingtime #anothergoodbye #goodluck (at Vala Liburna tornjak kennel)

Today, September 22, 2015, i lost a close friend. Parang isang firework na matapos sindihan at sumabog at magpamagical ng ilang minuto or oras, pagkatapos nun wala na. Ang sakit. Kasi hindi mo alam na sa ganun lang pala matatapos ang lahat. Parang maniniwala na tuloy ako sa sabi ng isa kong kaibagan na nakakatakot kapag masyado kang masaya, kasi pagkatapos nun sobrang lungkot mo na. Hindi ko alam. Nakakapanghinga. Hay ewan. Ewan talaga. Parang sobrang bilis lang talaga. Pero at least alam ko kung bakit ka nawala, kasi hindi ako understanding na tao. Na hindi ko inisip yung kalagayan mo bago ko mafeel yung pagtatampo ko sayo. Feel mo na hindi ko naintindihan kung gaano kahirap yung pinagdaanan mo. Pero sana sumagi din sa isip mo na mahirap din na araw araw kang pumapasok sa isip ko thru the things na nagpapaalala sayo pero wala akong magawa kasi feel ko na wala naman akong halaga sayo. That the worst feeling na ayaw kong maramdaman. Yung feeling na worthless ka lalo na sa taong vinavalue mo. Quota na ako sa mom ko jan. Kaya i make it to a point na i will always impress to the people around me that they are important kasi ayoko nung feeling na yun. But maybe, greater nga ang reason mo. Sabi mo pa noon, hindi ka basta basta nagagalit. Pero ngayon, nagalit ka sakin. Sorry, for wasting your time sa friendship natin. I’m sorry if i am not the person you envisioned me to be. Pero okay naman na diba? Kasi i’m stepping out of your life. Wala ng taong manggugulo sayo or magpapagalit sayo, kasi wala na ako. Tuluyan ka na sanang maging masaya. Salamat sa fairy tale! :) Sige. Good bye.

Day nth! And I still cannot totally get over what we had. But you know what, I found somebody better, somebody who's actually worth enduring the pain to see leaving. He's a really nice guy. And I think I might just lost him forever like how I lost you. There's just a bit difference, Coz the pain I felt when you left was the bad kind of pain, the pain that poisons nerves and brains. Now this pain that he's causing me is the pain that made me appreciate myself. This pain made me appreciate my whole being. I regained everything I lost when I lost you. I loved you,Parker. But this guy, I like him too much and he loves me, I know. And he is leaving soon. But the pages of our story has still a lot to be filled. When I have him back, I'd let you know. By then, maybe you'll believe that love can wait, and it can actually conquer distance. Catch yah later, Parker!