#another friday

After another stressful day at work, I got a free luxury facial that made my skin feel A+ but made me feel like shit. I don’t take care of my body like I should and my skin tells that story to my esthetician. I haven’t been eating well since I got back from Portland bc I have been depressed. I hate how my boss makes me feel and working in customer service really exhausts me physically, mentally and emotionally. I hate this town and my partner is going to move away next month. I got to his house after and started sobbing so loudly I couldn’t stop. I cried on and off for forty minutes until he got me to take a shower. I am always worrying about money. My second job starts next month . Then school. My anxiety is making it hard for me to articulate myself. I try so hard to stay positive and make jokes and keep myself happy but I am lying to myself I am lying to you I am lying to everybody bc I am so fucking sad and dissatisfied here and the one person whom I feel completely understands me will be gone soon.

Today I did the thing where I get all dressed up and made up because I'm bored and I've got nowhere to go. It's honestly so pathetic. Everyone is out. I'm home alone. Even my sister went to her friend's house. Mother is with her boyfriend. Brother is with his girlfriend.

((Oh well in that case Happy Thanksgiving everyone))