The show host shifted uncomfortably in his seat, watching the pair watching him as they were about to be cued back in.
Once the cameraman counted down to three, the host put on a smile.
“And welcome back! A little recap for those just joining in, we have welcomed Hero and Villain to the studio today to answer some questions.” He cleared his throat. “I think we’d all like to know is if you two have a natural hatred towards each other.”
The hero and villain shared quick glances before the host continued.
“Then, all the fighting, the boom pow! That’s just show?” He asked, flashing a smile at his audience.
Oh, he had these two now. Their little charade of destroying the city and rebuilding it. They were nothing more than gold diggers, and this interview would boost his ratings.
“Show?” The hero laughed. “I can show you the broken arm x-ray if you want. It’s not a show. It’s never been a show.”
“I- I think what my cohort here is trying to say is that, we, as a people, have no particular quarrel with each other. It’s just a job.” The villain waved their hand in the air with a lazy motion, as if to say ‘ya know?’
“Yeah, it’s the same as having an office job nemesis. Someone who doesn’t clean the microwave. Someone who gets on your nerves, sure, but at the end of the day, no harm no foul.” The hero finished for the villain.
“No harm no foul?” The host echoed, putting on his most affronted face. “I would beg to differ. I mean you, no offense, Villain, but you destroy lives, you- you, I mean,” He motioned to the audience. “Right?”
The audience, in conjunction, began to boo, the sound dying down when the hero raised their hands.
“Yeah. They’ve done awful things, but that’s why I’m here. I’m not saying we should forgive and forget, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying there’s no reason for me to seek them out to kill them. What have they done other than topple a few buildings? Was anyone inside? I’m right there afterwards to fix it anyways.”
“Shockingly,” The villain cut in. “I have bigger goals than killing civilians. Death actually complicates things.” Their eyes narrowed at the host. “You speak as if I don’t have plans, like my entire purpose is to cause destruction. But the truth is, both of us are just extremists. One of us just happens to take the rockier path.” They made another dramatic hand motion.
“So, what?” The host felt a sheen of sweat, the glare from the villain hotter than the lights. “We just sit back and let you do your thing? We just pretend it’s ok for Hero to do a half assed job?” He quickly looked at the hero. “No offense.”
“Well, as far as their track record goes,” the villain sighed, and leaned back in their seat. “Let’s see. I don’t think they’ve ever failed to put a building back up, I have ended up in prison more times than I can count, and so far, no civilians, yourself included, have been maimed or mortally wounded.”
“And that’s impressive, surely, but-” the host began to say.
“But nothing.” The villain cut off. “You asked why Hero doesn’t kill me, you asked why we aren’t at each other’s throats right now, which, by the way, we will be doing once this is over, and you implied I want to rain hellfire over you.”
“Don’t worry.” The hero said. “We’ll be on the rooftop. Less damage that way.”
The villain swung around to face the hero quite dramatically. “That’s why you always lead us there? I thought it was an aesthetic thing.”
They blushed, slightly, folding their hands in their lap. “No. But, uh, keep going, please. I interrupted.”
“Right.” The villain swung back around. “It’s like you’re trying to push an agenda, Host.”
The host chuckled. A movie star type thing. Practiced, timely.
“Of course not. I didn’t get this far by whispering in people’s ears. I got this far by pushing for truth.”
“And you got it.” The villain stood. “So sorry to do this to you, Chuck, improper interview etiquette and all, but I think we’re done here.”
“Villain, please, I didn’t mean anything by-”
The hero also stood. “Yes, I’m sorry, Host, but this has crossed a line or two. Killing someone is…well…I don’t see you trying to kill them.” They laughed, slightly uncomfortable as they stepped away from the elevated platform.
“Hold up!” They called after the villain. “You can’t fight yourself!”
The hero was certain that the host was desperately trying to scramble some semblance of order to his studio, that some executives were blowing up his phone and the views were plummeting, but they had bigger things to worry about. One little charismatic host wouldn’t stand in the way of that. The hero could write an apology letter tomorrow.
Somehow, the villain already made it up to the rooftop, but they were turned away from the hero, hugging their arms.
“Hey! You’re speedy today. Ready?” The hero asked.
“You-” The villain swallowed their words. “I mean- you aren’t- that’s to say-”
“He was pretty pushy.” The hero interrupted, keeping their eyes on the villain. “You ok?”
“You’re not a bad person!” The villain blurted out. “For not killing me. That doesn’t make you morally gray, or whatever the host was implying. It makes you capable of drawing your lines and staying behind them.”
The hero tilted their head to the side. “You’re worried about me? My reputation?”
“No. Well, yeah.” The villain sighed, and finally turned around. “Not really your reputation. It’d help me, actually, if your reputation was bad. But you, yeah. You’ve never given me any reason to hate you, I’ve given you plenty to hate me. And that’s it, we’re just coworkers, right?”
The hero took a step forward. “He really got to you, huh?”
“I’m sorry for breaking your arm. It wasn’t intentional.”
“I know. I’m sorry I keep getting in your way.”
The hero smiled. “No, I’m not.”
“I promise, if I end up on top some day, everything will be different. You won’t have to push for a good reputation and being a good person. You won’t have to go out of your way. Things will be better for capes.”
“If you end up on top?” The hero repeated. “There’s an idea. You’ll get rid of hosts and talk shows?”
“I- I can’t tell you that you’re not a bad person, Villain.” The hero admitted upon seeing the villain’s anxious eyes.
“I know. I do bad things for good reasons, but that doesn’t make me a good person. I’m not crazy, Hero. I know. I just wish you could see it my way.”
“Convince me through different methods. Come find me when it’s in a safe way. Run for office, maybe. No one knows your identity.”
The villain looked down to conceal their smile. “I don’t think they let politicians get rid of talk show hosts just for the hell of it.”
“Maybe you’ll be the first.” The hero’s cape began to flutter from the wind. “Hey, you still up for this? I know you needed some roads cleared for something, so if I could-”
“No. Not today, Hero. Get some rest. I’ll see you at some point.”
The hero was alone. The camera was rolling.
