#anontale

“About what?” Because nothing could ever be easy, Alphys had apparently noticed Sans anime-protagonisting above the streets.

“CAPTAIN!” Sans said, snapping to attention at her voice. “UH… FANCY MEETING YOU HERE!”

“Sans, who is that?” Alphys asked. She crossed her arms at his hesitation, revealing just how ripped the short lizard got as captain of the royal guard.

“…MY GIRLFRIEND!” he said, pulling you to his side with a grin. “Play Along,” he hissed. “IT’S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY AND I KNEW YOU’D FEEL SO BAD MISSING ANY BAKING BY THE AMAZING SANS!! I SUPPOSE IF SHE’S OKAY WITH IT, YOU COULD STILL HAVE SOME OF MY AMAZING GLITTERCAKE-”

“N-no, that’s okay,” Alphys said, quickly backpedaling. “When did you two even meet?”

“Oh, not terribly long ago, but how could I refuse someone so sweet and that has just a sparkling personality?” you said, feeling Sans stiffen as Alphys snorted in amusement. When you looked, his grin hadn’t faltered but his eyelights had vanished, making him look entirely dead inside.

“You met her through Papyrus, didn’t you?” Alphys chuckled.

“UNFORTUNATELY, IT SEEMS.” Surprisingly, his dead expression didn’t seem to effect his tone. “BUT, SPEAKING OF HIM, YOU WOULDN’T HAPPEN TO HAVE SEEN HIM RECENTLY?”

“Uh, yeah actually, if he’s in his kigurumi. Saw him napping on that bench in front of Hapsta’s building.”

“THANKS, CAPTAIN!” Sans pulled you behind him and ran off. “THAT’S ACTUALLY REALLY WEIRD,” he said, explaining as you both ran. “HE’S A REALLY LIGHT SLEEPER, HE CAN’T SLEEP OUTSIDE BECAUSE OF IT.”

“Maybe the glitch is making him?” You stopped him when you noticed the air in the street shimmer. It was replaced by a confused skeleton in a pink unicorn kigurumi, who noticed you both instead of the truck heading for him.

“PAPYRUS-!!!” The crunch before the world bugged out rang in your ears, and you were back in the apartment. The sob from the kitchen had you running to pull Sans into your arms, large tears running down his face.

“It’s okay, he’s okay,” you soothed. “He undid it, he’s okay. Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.” You rubbed his spine as he clung to you. Seeing a Papyrus hit by a truck gave you uncomfortable flashbacks to Captain’s death, so you have at least a bit of an idea of how traumatic that was for him.

It’s a good five minutes before he’s gotten calm enough to pull away, scrubbing at his face. “STARS, PAPY…” He sounded broken. “OKAY, NEW PLAN!” He flung open the door and picked you up again, doing his bone-jumping technique and heading right for where it’d happened. He set you down and snapped his fingers, his clothes changing into a black coat with yellow circuit lines on it, his yellow clubs scarf stayed, as did his black pants and yellow boots, but he seemed to have a white buttonup now, as well as a mask on.

“Is… Is that the tumblr anon face?” you asked, confused.

“VERY POSSIBLY! I DIDN’T CHOOSE THE MASK,” he said, not really paying attention as he waved his hands in front of him, creating a yellow hologram screen and keyboard. “LET’S SEE IF I REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS…” he said, typing.

“What are you doing?” you asked, watching text and fingers fly.

“EVERYTHING, EXCEPT YOU APPARENTLY, IS MADE OF CODE. EVEN UNDOING WHAT HAPPENED, PAPY SHOULD HAVE LEFT BEHIND REMAINDERS I CAN USE TO TRACK DOWN HIS SOURCE CODE. THUS, I CAN FIND HIM.”

“And the outfit?”

“IS DESIGNED TO HIDE ME FROM THE FIREWALL AND THE ANTI-HACKER PROGRAMS. BECAUSE THIS IS SUPER ILLEGAL AND DANGEROUS.”

“Firewall…? Are we in a computer?” you asked, surprised.

“YOU ARE IN A COMPUTER, I AM PART OF ONE. I’M AN ANTI-VIRUS PROGRAM, LIKE ALPHYS! PAPYRUS IS EARLY DETECTION SOFTWARE, UNDYNE IS DIAGNOSTIC SOFTWARE, AND SO ON!” he said. “GOT HIM!” He put away his screen and snapped his clothes back. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along.

You both stopped at an abandoned construction site, and Sans pointed out a pink shape on a girder hanging from a crane. He let go and began doing his bone-jumping to get up there, and you got to watch as the glitch appeared over the cord and broke it, though Papyrus apparently woke up in time to Undo it before he hit the ground this time.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!” Sans snapped, looking stressed. “THE DAYLIGHT SHOULD WAKE HIM UP!! OR THE BIRDS!! HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO WAKE HIMSELF UP AND TELEPORT HOME!!”

“The glitch has to be keep him asleep until the last second,” you said. “It cut the rope when you got close last time, so that means you probably could wake him up. We just need something big enough that could wake him up from a distance once we find him.”

Sans paused, staring at nothing. “…SON OF A BITCH, I COULD’VE DONE THAT FROM THE START!!” he groaned, dragging his hands over his face. “YOU’RE BRILLIANT, I’M DUMB, THANK YOU,” he added, pressing a kiss to your cheek before scooping you up again, seemingly oblivious to your blush, his eyelights having turned to daisies in excitement.

A bone-jump trip to the construction yard and a repeat of the tracing process lead you both to a secluded part of a junkyard.

“I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR WHAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE, AND ALSO FOR ANY SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT YOU MAY EXPERIENCE. HOWEVER, AS I HAVE SEEN MY BROTHER DIE TWICE TODAY, I NO LONGER HAVE ANY SHAME WHATSOEVER!!!”

At your slightly perplexed nod, Sans immediately broke down into hysterical tears, throwing himself onto the garbage like a Victorian fainting couch. “PAPY!! HELP!! I’M GONNA BE DELETED!!!” he wailed.

Instantly, Papyrus appeared and scooped him into his pink fuzzy arms. Despite the pink unicorn onesie, the sheer aura of Bad Time made you take a step back, eye blazing a bright purple, free hand having a cluster of sharpened bones pointed your way.

“Wait, no, not me! I’m helping!” you said, flinching to try and protect your head.

“PAPY, NO, SHE IS HELPING!!” Sans said, turning his brother’s head to break his glare on you. You could swear a heavy metal remix of Megalovania was playing in your head. “WE JUST NEEDED YOU TO WAKE UP!!”

“i sure hope there’s an actual reason i keep dying,” Papyrus said, lowering the unicorn head hood to reveal he had a burnt orange nightcap on under it with a heart pompom on the end. “because the whole ‘not able to wake up until seconds from death’ thing is getting tiring.”

“PAPY!!” Sans groaned, thunking his head against Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus just smirked of you.

“I’m Y/N, I’m from another world,” you said. Between you and Sans, it didn’t take long to get him up to speed. “Also, do you mind if I give you guys nicknames? It’d make it easier to talk about you guys to other Sanses and Papyruses, though I’d still call you guys Sans and Papyrus here.”

“sure, sister,” Papyrus said. With him still and more relaxed now, it became obvious how exhausted he was. Somehow a skull had bags under his eyesockets, he stood hunched despite supporting his brother one-handed, but you knew first hand how light the skeletons were.

“I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS!!” By contrast, you figured if Sans wasn’t being held by his brother still, he’d probably be bouncing, bright-eyed and full of energy.

“How about Peppy for Sans?” you suggested.

“I LIKE IT!!!”

“suits him,” Papyrus said, looking pleased. “it’ll put a real pep in his step.”

“BROTHER NO!! Y/N!! YOU HAVE ONLY GIVEN HIM MORE PUN AMMUNITION!!” He struggled to get down, but Papyrus apparently had a good grip on him.

“aw, c’mon, bro. i promise i’ll only pep-per them in occasionally.”

“PUT ME DOWN, YOU HEATHEN!!”

You can’t help it, you start laughing at their antics, which brings a genuine smile to Papyrus’ face, which makes him not look so tired.

“Uh… For Papyrus… How about Punny?” It feels forced. Normally you go with your first instinct, but you don’t wand to be rude.

“sister, you and i both know that isn’t what you thought of,” Papyrus said, free hand on his hip. “shoot straight and just say what we all know you thought of,” he added as he let go of Sans, causing his younger brother to grunt on impact with the ground.

You cringe at being called out like that. “I thought about calling you ‘Sleepy’, if I’m honest.”

“see? doesn’t that feel less awkward?” Papyrus said. “besides, my baby bro calls me that all the time.” Papyrus held a hand out to you and pulled you into a hug when you took it. “thank you, for helping save me.” He pulled Sans into the hug and teleported home.

“YOU CAN’T NAP, YOU’LL START IT ALL OVER AGAIN,” Sans said, before he hurried into the kitchen to try and salvage dinner.

“so, sister,” papyrus said, keeping his voice down. “i don’t like my brother in danger, how’s about you and i take this to the source code of the problem and fix this fast?”

“You can do that?” You asked, surprised.

“sister,” he sighed, pausing to snap his fingers. A black coat not unlike Sans’, only purple instead of yellow replaced the kigurumi, a white shirt under a purple vest, with matching crisp white slacks and purple dress shoes, the elegance of the outfit ruined by the apparently constant burnt orange nightcap, and the fact his anon mask somehow looked as exhausted as he did. “i’m the second-best hacker this computer’s ever seen. i can find that glitchy code anywhere it tries to hide.”