#anonomi

// thanks! I've been meaning to make a full body lineup of all the kiddos outfits, but I just haven't been able to get to it. May as well show you spy for now though!

What a fun idea! ((Btw, I am 100% gonna be projecting directly onto Scout and no one here can fucking stop me!))

Engineer: It honestly depends on what’s got him so frustrated; if it’s a malfunction with one of his inventions that he just can’t seem to fix, what he needs to do is walk away and do something else entirely, but if it’s stress caused by something different in his life, he just wants to be in the same room as a bunch of his teammates and chill. They don’t need to hang out directly, but he just needs to hear their voices and remember that it’s gonna be okay.

Demoman: If he can’t call his mom to talk to her about it, and for whatever reason doesn’t have any alcohol to drink himself to ignorance with, he very much just wants to just draw out his frustrations; he isn’t much of an artist, but just scribbling on a piece of paper until it’s black and torn can help get some of his feelings out. He might also open up to someone, but only if he’s pressed to do so and he feels safe enough to talk about it.

Soldier: He tries everything in his power to hide his stress through good old fashioned repression, but once he reaches his limit... dear god, it’s hell. He’s probably just gonna nab the nearest vehicle, drive as far as he can, park the car, and then scream until his voice is gone. After he stole Sniper’s van at one point, he finally agreed to Sniper’s demands that he let Sniper drive him out to the desert to scream. Sometimes other mercs come along as well, but not always.

Medic: This dude is the definition of “Fake it ‘til ya make it!” with damn near everything, do you really think he ain’t repressing even harder than Soldier is? In all seriousness, when the dam breaks for him, it isn’t as straight up horrifying, but he will lock himself in his room/office and cry for hours on end when it’s too much to deal with. During those times, only Heavy, Engie, and Sniper are allowed to come near him, or else he’ll get really fucking pissed and lash out. He doesn’t mean to hurt anyone, and he’ll apologize later, he just needs his space.

Heavy: Stress bakes. He’s dealt with a lot of stress throughout his life, and since he was a young teenager trying to help his mom raise his little sisters, cooking of any kind has become his go-to method of fighting off his fears while also doing something to help his family/team. He usually makes a few baked goods throughout his sessions of stress relief; the more elaborate they are, the more stressed out he is when he’s making them. Leave him alone until he’s done.

Pyro: They really don’t like to open up to the team about their issues if they can help it, on account of not wanting to be looked at directly, so they usually just hide away in their room in a pile of stuffed animals and cry until it doesn’t hurt anymore. If any of the other mercs overhear, they’ll either get Engie to check on Pyro or they’ll make them some hot cocoa; none of them ever gets to see Pyro  drink it, but the crying tends to slow down once they’ve got a hot drink to hold, and the mug is always found empty in the sink the day afterwards.

Sniper: He handles stress about as well as anyone else on the team, which is to say, poorly if not given what he needs in that moment, which can kinda vary. Will insist he needs space, but what he honestly craves is someone to stay near until he feels better, preferably with physical affection involved. Pretty much everyone is now accustomed to being close to each other, so they’re all fine with a little hugging if it’s needed, especially Heavy and Pyro.

Spy: Depending on the issue, this guy is probably gonna go through a few packs of cigarettes within the day, just going from one cigarette to the next in an attempt to dull the pain and his senses. He likes to also listen to music in an otherwise quiet part of the base and be left alone; will sometimes just chill on the roof and smoke until sundown. He doesn’t like to be bothered when on the roof, but he won’t turn someone away if they’re hurting too, especially if it’s something that’s hurt the whole team.

Scout: One word; movement. Since he was a preteen, he’s taken to running his stress off, or at the very least pacing in circles. If one is available- though he’ll never let the team find out about this- he’ll go to the nearest swing-set and just swing until his legs are sore, usually with headphones on that are pumping out music that reminds him of home. These venting sessions almost always end with him just sitting on the swing, his legs dangling as he silently sobs. Not even Spy knows about this form of venting, and Scout intends on keeping it that way.

BONUS Miss Pauling: She has a very hard time dealing with stress, especially when on the job. If she’s actively working, she’ll just close herself off and continue the job without another word, but the minute she’s done or has some time to breathe, she’s locking herself in a closet and practicing breathing exercises until she isn’t freaking out anymore. Will also read a book if one’s available, even if it’s just a dictionary; anything to focus on that isn’t the stress.

Let’s fuckin’ do this, lads!

RED Mercs at the Beach

Engineer: He builds the most elaborate sandcastles of all time, and afterwards spends most of the time grilling and making sure no one goes swimming too soon after eating. He can actually swim pretty well, but he doesn’t really see the point in doing so when he’d rather be chilling on the beach.

Demoman: An incredible swimmer, so he spends the entire day running around in the water and splashing his teammates for fun (especially Spy and Medic, who get pissed at him as a result). He honestly has such a fun time, even if he’s afraid to go farther out into the water (can’t let the Loch Ness monster get him)!

Soldier: He manages to convince Sniper and Pyro to bury him to his neck and almost fucking drowns because everyone forgot about him being buried. After that, he’s splashing around with the mercs who’re in the water and having a great time; does not seem the least bit bothered that he almost died.

Medic: Does NOT like the beach, not one bit! He always gets a sunburn, and despite hardly leaving his shaded towel for the whole day, he still gets a fucking sunburn in the end. Hangs out by the grill and eats so many hotdogs that he pukes out the window during the drive home.

Heavy: Helps Engie grill for most of the evening, but he humors Demo and Scout by doing a few cannonballs for them. He offered to put sunscreen on Medic, but the doctor insisted he didn’t need it because he’d hardly be out from under his umbrella (big mistake). Sleeps in the backseat during the drive home.

Pyro: Sniper and Soldier help them dig a six foot deep hole in the sand, which they sit in for hours and hours on end, just kinda chillin’. They also play around with Engie’s sandcastles and have a mock fight with Soldier using the castles as their bases. Sniper makes them a mermaid from waist down at one point and tbh it’s wholesome as all hell, they love going to the beach!

Sniper: Oh my gosh, does this boy LOVE beach trips! He wants to do everything he possibly can before they have to go home, and he helps with building sandcastles, burying people, splashing around along the shore, etc. He loves sculpting with sand the most, but later he swims pretty far out and just lays on his back for an hour or so after the team’s cookout.

Spy: He gets the most embarrassing tan lines thanks to his mask. Ends up having to save Scout and Soldier from drowning at least twice, which just ends in him making them stay closer to the beach. Helps Engie grill a little bit, but mostly he just lays on the beach and sunbathes (he tried to beat the shit out of Scout at one point after he gets hit with a water balloon while napping).

Scout: He loves the beach almost as much as Sniper does, so the two of them become a sort of tag team while playing around. He brought a water gun and a few balloons, so he ends up pranking everyone all day long and just having a fun as hell time. Nearly drowns because he can’t swim for shit, but he won’t admit it out of pride.

Is now a bad time to mention that my ADHD makes it hard af to watch movies, so I haven’t watched very many? At least I know a lot of Disney movies, Ghibli movies, and just a lot of movies that my dad likes, so there’s that. Prepare for a lot of Disney and weird indie films!

Engineer: This dude loves “The Matrix” and the Star Wars movies more than life itself. Seriously, if a Star Wars movie comes on, he’s physically unable to look away from the screen until after the credits. He also likes Disney’s “Robin Hood” furry movie, which Medic teases him for a lot.

Demoman: Excuse the possible pun, but he loves “Demolition Man” and he constantly quotes it to the other mercs (unfortunately for him, only Scout and Sniper get the references). He doesn’t watch it a lot, but when he does he’s all smiles for a few days afterwards.

Soldier: He unironically loves “National Treasure” and no one has the guts to criticize it in his presence. At least once a month he’ll force everyone else to watch it with him, but even without any other viewers he watches it almost nightly. Has a secret soft spot for “Old Yeller” but be warned, he’ll cry.

Medic: He really freaking likes “Clue: The Movie” (big same). He can quote damn near every line, and most of the other mercs also like it quite a lot, so if he puts it on, the rest of the team ends up quoting it for the next few weeks, much to the Administrator’s frustration.

Heavy: He loves “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”, “Spirited Away”, and “The Fox and the Hound” (even if the latter movie makes him bawl every time he watches it). He watched a lot of movies with his sisters growing up (I assume this ask is for a modern AU), so he takes a lot of comfort in animated films. He learned a lot of his English by watching them as a kid!

Pyro: They can’t get enough of “The Wizard of Oz”, “Beauty and the Beast”, and “My Neighbor Totoro” but tbh they’ll watch any animated Disney film if it’s on (they plug their ears and shut their eyes for any really sad/loud parts). They also really like a lot of the Pokemon films, their favorite being the third one.

Sniper: “Kiki’s Delivery Service” and “Fifth Element” are his absolute favorite movies, but he rarely rewatches them on the grounds that he’d rather watch new movies so he can find more favorites. He watches a lot of Ghibli movies with Pyro when they ask him to.

Spy: He fucking loves “So I Married an Axe Murderer” and watches it almost every time he visits Scout’s Mom. He just thinks it’s funny as all hell, but he doesn’t want anyone but his wife to know that he likes it. Secretly loves “The Aristocats” for pretty obvious reasons.

Scout: It’s a tie between “The Aristocats”, “101 Dalmatians”, and “Deadpool.” The first two Disney films were his favorites when he was a kid, and Deadpool is just endlessly funny to him. Tbh though, he’ll stop and watch anything that the other mercs put on, but no guarantees he’ll stick around until the end.

BONUS Miss Pauling: It’s a tie between “Coraline” and “Juno“ for her. She likes both movies a lot for different reasons; Coraline is really freaky and cool, while Juno just makes her feel good after a bad day. She’ll also watch any movie from the original Star Wars trilogy if it’s on.

Don’t worry about it, my pal; I love getting these kind of asks, they’re a lot of fun to answer!

Engineer: If you ask him what he does on his off time, he’s very likely to answer that he just does more tinkering, but in all honesty he loves doing science experiments with Medic, as well as cooking for the team if anyone’s hungry! Will try to catch a nap if he has the whole day off.

Demoman: Fencing! He loves swords so much, he likes to practice fencing in his spare time, though he doesn’t always fence, as that involves him having to be sober, and sometimes he doesn’t have enough time to sober up. If this is the case, he’ll like just read while humming under his breath.

Soldier: Reads a lot in his spare time, but if other mercenaries are available to hang out, he’ll play card games with the team and just try to have a good time. If it’s only an hour or so before battle though, he’ll be drafting battle plans and trying to get other people included on his latest strategy!

Medic: He loves hanging out with Heavy if he’s available, which mostly consists of the two of them teaching each other their native languages and having tea/lunch together; they’ll invite Engie if he’s interested in hanging out, too. If he’s forced to be alone though, Medic will likely just tidy up his operation room and chill out with his birds.

Heavy: Pretty much the same as Medic, but he honestly doesn’t mind having alone time as much as some of the other mercenaries do. Will call home if he has enough time, but if not he’ll clean Sasha, tidy up around the base, and just in general try to make the environment around him less uncomfortable to live in.

Pyro: Time to build a pillow fort and have a tea party with their stuffed animals! If another mercenary walks in on them during this time, Pyro tends to get a bit self-conscious, but pretty much everyone is used to this from them by now, so they don’t tease Pyro about it. If they aren’t busy and aren’t feeling particularly embarrassed, Scout, Soldier, and Sniper have been known to hang out for a tea party, which has led to some embarrassing photos that Spy now has ownership of to use as blackmail later.

Sniper: Calls his folks the minute he finds out he has at least an hour or so of free time. After that, it’s a bit up in the air; prefers to spend his free time alone in his RV, usually just reading or napping, but he’ll hang out with the others if they’ve got a good card game going.

Spy: Smoke break! Is honestly so relieved when he finally gets some time to himself, and will almost always turn down any invitations to hang out; the dude just wants to be alone. However, once the day has more or less ended, he’ll check in on everyone and make sure they’re alright (while totally double-checking on Scout to make sure he’s in bed at a reasonable time/doing okay).

Scout: If no one else wants to hang out, he’ll lock himself in his room for hours on end. Most of the other mercenaries think he’s just sulking or sleeping, but Spy and Sniper know that Scout is in there drawing, filling up any notebook he can get his hands on with his art! Will sometimes show his artwork to the rest of the team, but never the more serious or venty pieces.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Hahaha, what free time :,) ? In all seriousness, if Miss Pauling has even a few minutes to breathe, she is unconscious on the nearest available surface, because goddamn, does she need some sleep.

Ooooo, this sounds like a lot of fun; please excuse me as I go tf off with my own personal headcanons and possibly get everything about the characters wrong! Also don’t worry, it hasn’t been asked before, and I LOVE coming up with new headcanons from your asks, my pal!

Engineer: Monatophobia, the fear of dying alone. I very much headcanon that he’s experienced a lot of death in his life, starting when he was a very young child, so now he tends to get overly attached to the people in his life, especially the rest of the team once they start socializing with each other more. When he gets particularly anxious about this fear, he’ll try and be around the rest of the team more. Only Medic, Pyro, and Soldier know of his fear.

Demoman: Agoraphobia, the fear of open spaces or large crowds. He was traumatized as a young child after he got lost at a busy festival for several hours, during which there was an emergency, and in the ensuing chaos he was nearly trampled to death. As an adult, he’s not quite as afraid of these things as he used to be, but he still hates to fight in too open of spaces against the enemy team. Only Medic, Heavy, and Soldier know of his fear.

Soldier: Equinophobia, the fear of horses. It’s... a long story. In short, as a kid he got to go horse riding with one of his older cousins for the day, but the horse he was put on ended up not only running loose (with him still on it), but it fell into a ditch and died from the fall, leaving Soldier with a broken arm and leg. In the aftermath, he felt responsible for the horse’s death, but he’s also deathly afraid of them to this day, and refuses to go near one. Only Medic, Sniper, and Demoman know of his fear.

Medic: Lilapsophobia, the fear of tornadoes/hurricanes, as well as Astraphobia, the fear of thunder/lightning. In all honesty, Medic has no gosh dang idea where his phobia came from, but ever since he was a little kid he’s been absolutely terrified of storms. He’s actually tried going to specialized therapy for his phobias, but seeing as no doctor can find the root of it, it’s been unsuccessful so far. He’s given up on curing it by now, but he still gets embarrassed when thunder makes him scream and freak out. Only Heavy knows of his fears.

Heavy: Pathophobia, the fear of disease. Seeing as he and his family had to live in such isolation for a long period of his life, the threat of an illness going through the family and killing them all was a very real fear in young Heavy’s mind, and as a result he gets really paranoid about the people he loves getting sick, as he fears that sickness = death; it’s a good thing his boyfriend is a doctor! Only Medic and Spy know of his fear.

Pyro: Insectophobia, the fear of insects. Much like Medic, they don’t know when they developed this phobia, but it’s haunted them since they were a teenager, causing them to run away in a frenzy if they see a bug (especially if it’s flying at them). In all honesty, their suit makes them feel a lot calmer around bugs, so that they don’t just up and run when they see one, but they’ll still get anxious/start squirming like crazy if it doesn’t go away. Only Medic, Sniper, and Engineer know of their fear.

Sniper: Nosocomephobia, the fear of hospitals. I headcanon that he grew up in foster care for at least a few years before being adopted by his folks, so he was dragged to hospitals a lot whenever he got even slightly hurt, as social workers needed to make sure he wasn’t being abused. As a result, he’s now deathly afraid of hospitals, as to him, hospitals = something very bad is happening. Only Medic, Spy, and Pyro know of his fear.

Spy: Atychiphobia, the fear of failure, and Trypanophobia, the fear of needles. He thinks he acquired his first phobia as a little kid, after dealing with so much pressure to be successful from the adults in his life, while his next fear was developed while he was captured and tortured by a mad doctor for a few months early into his work as a spy. He was primarily tortured with needles during his imprisonment, sparking this newfound phobia; his fear is so bad, he’ll go into hiding when Medic tries to draw blood/give him his vaccinations. Only Medic, Scout, and Sniper know of his fears.

Scout: Claustrophobia, the fear of small spaces. When he was a fairly young child- about four or five years old- he was playing with his older brothers one day, and they decided to play hide ‘n seek. Being so small, he decided to hide in a briefcase... which accidentally locked him inside after it closed. It took a lot of work to get him out, his mom having to use a hacksaw on the lock to break it, and afterwards he was scared shitless of confined spaces, so much so that he’ll genuinely hyperventilate until he passes out if he’s locked in a small space of any kind. Only Medic, Spy, and Pyro know of his fear.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Ophidiophobia, the fear of snakes. She was born with this fear, hightailing it since she was a kid from any sort of snake, even tiny gardener snakes! She’s very embarrassed by her fear, and tries to hide it from the people she knows, and usually she can, but... well, now everyone on RED knows after the time that a snake got into the base while she was visiting them for something, and she literally passed out when she saw it. Afterwards they all agreed not to pester her about it, on the grounds that she didn’t deserve to be teased for something out of her control. She still doesn’t know remember that day at all.

I hope you enjoyed these headcanons, ‘cus I really enjoyed writing them!