#anonasking

hihihihihihiiii thank you anon

There is one word for it

✨atrocious✨

If you ever had servicemen in your family (cops, military, security, any kind of it), you would absolutely get how hard it is, when even a person's humorous side is shaped by the system. It's a combination of dark humour, military jokes (all kinds of inside gigs, pranks, xenophobic jokes towards aliens and 'yo mama' jokes) and deadpan nonsence wandering into unfunny dad jokes territory. That's her ways of trying to be funny. Good riddance she isn't trying it much as the officer, right?

But what really cracks Alice up is slapstick comedy.

Do old school banana peel slip ans she's gonna be cackling like a crow. Show her classic Tom&Jerry and she would be mesmerized (omg I think she's gonna love the variety of Tom's screams). It slips everywhere: merc gets splattered funny after taking a biotic charge? She's gonna chuckle. Steve, boinking his head on the kodiak? Yup, that's funny.

What if the moment of injury itself is unfunny? Then it's "What doesn't kill you will be a running joke for the next few years". Garrus's scars. VS being beaten up by Dr.Eva. Her own death. Hell, even Joker nearly mauled by collector during attack on the ship isn't immune. (I did gave him cool scars though.)

Oh hello my dear one, kicking right right in the balls?

She remembers it. She remembers the cold that seeped through the damaged in the blast armor. She remembers the vibration of the leaking oxygen through the damaged pipe. She remembers frantic inhales that brought no oxygen with it. The panic. The biotic rush she forced trying to stop the spin. The consciousness slipping away. The void leering with the billions of starry eyes, swallowing her whole.

Suffocating wasn't painful. She blacked out quickly and when the body entered the atmosphere, Shepard was already dead.

If you ask her if there is a life after death, she would quip, pointing at herself, like "duh silly, cause I am here", but wait a few second without laughing and she'd crack. There is nothing. There is a vast empty nothingness devoid of all. Nothing. Nothing is here. No pain. No warmth. Not even your organic lizard brain is there.

Hi anon!

Joker isn't there for the fight with Saren and after Virmire there are more pressing events than a little BDSM foreplay with a rogue Turian...

Joker lost his friend there. He wasn't rah-rah close with Alenko, but he generously tolerated lieutenant's company, which is a lot in my books. He also got to know Shepard didn't chose to leave Alenko behind, but explicitly failed the rescue and had to extract Ash instead.

He has a moment of weakness and backs down, bottling up/denying all fellings towards her, because otherwise it would create a bigger mess and he isn't sure he can handle it.

Hi, anon. I see you really wanted to hear my input to this ask, so why not.

First, let me ramble a bit about how little the original writers established the culture and art in the universe. Nearly everything we know is a derogatory depiction of art, a mockery (like Turian sculptures or Elcor Hamlet). And the little canon examples we know are of mediocre entertainment, like Fleet and Flotilla or Blasto or Vaenia.

Would someone like Alice spend her what little free time she has on an average media?

Reaper War Alice would absolutely not. She is under the constant stress, her hybrid brain is working overtime, she doesn't need additinal stimuli to affect her.

Maybe post-reaper-war Alice would, under the threats or blackmail from Joker, sit still and watch Blasto with him. She may find it hilarious. The Room cringe level hilarious, which would cetrainly hurt his feelings (not seriously). Then she would go back to reading or physical hobbies, and wouldn't come near TV until Joker's next attempt of cultural exchange.