#annesecretsanta

Come up to meet you; Tell you I’m sorry; You don’t know how lovely you are

 Red. He saw it, red hair. Never was there another colour like it. Gilbert slowly turned in his seat to see a scraggly, freckled girl seated next to Diana Barry. Who was this girl? The sun glinted steadily through the window onto that hair that had drawn his eye in the first place. Why it’s as red as carrots, he thought, continuing to do nothing but stare at the girl who he had never seen in his life. She glanced his way, to which he winked at her, smiling smugly that she’d looked.

After a muttered word to Diana, the girl gazed out the window and, at least what Gilbert began to believe, blatantly ignored him. Feeling the need to see those grey-green eyes look his way once more, he began to rack his brain for ideas. Carrots…

“Carrots,” he hissed softly while tugging gently on the red hair he’d already grown so fond of, “Carrots.”

She whirled around in horror, her eyes flashing a delicious shade of green. “How dare you!” she screamed, and the next Gilbert knew was she’d gone and smashed something over his head. Was that a slate? Either way he found himself apologising profusely to Mr. Phillips who’d rushed to the scene.

Ann Shirley has a very bad temper. Ann Shirley must learn to control her temper. * Was written on the board, and the girl grimly marched to the board placing an ‘e’ at the end of each Ann. Anne Shirley. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Anne stood seething under that sign for the rest of the afternoon, glaring every now and then at the boy who started it all.

At the end of the day Gilbert waited behind for Anne to leave after her lecture from Mr. Phillips. Intercepting her at the door, he glanced into her eyes, “I'm awfully sorry I made fun of your hair, Anne," he whispered contritely. "Honest I am. Don't be mad for keeps, now." *

The lovely girl with the golden, red hair snubbed her nose, and marched away with Diana at her side. Despite this, he grinned dumbly. She’s simply lovely, he thought his eyes following her down the road as she made her way towards what he assumed to be her home.

 I had to find you; Tell you I need you; Tell you I set you apart

 With the mayflowers in hand, Gilbert set off towards Patty’s Place, smiling sweetly at what could come of this particular visit. He found Anne in the orchard her head buried in a book, and he smiled slightly at her usual Anne-ness.

Handing her the Mayflowers, he carefully told her of his plans for the summer: staying in Kingsport to work at the Daily News Office. Gilbert watched as her face fell, hoping this was as good of time as any to ask her the question he had yearning in the back of his mind ever since that fateful day he called her carrots. She quickly composed herself however, and before she could make any more excuse to leave to pick violets, he said, “Things can't go on like this any longer. Anne, I love you. You know I do. I - I can't tell you how much. Will you promise me that someday you'll be my wife?” **

Anne quickly turned away shaking her head. Gil’s face fell immediately. Perhaps he was deceiving himself all along. Had she really never loved him? What about at Echo Lodge? Surely there was something in her eyes then. She begged for his forgiveness, and he gently, in person and heart, let go of her hand.

“There isn't anything to forgive. There have been times when I thought you did care. I've deceived myself, that's all. Goodbye, Anne.” ** And as he walked away that day, malice entered his heart. He must never think of Anne Shirley again.

 Tell me your secrets; And ask me your questions; Oh, let’s go back to the start

 Gilbert sat, his work sprawled across his desk as he ran his hands carefully through his curls. Biting his lip, he thought carefully about what was bothering him so. It has been a year, a year to the dot. His eyes glistened with tears once more as he remembered the terrified look on Anne’s face as he told her of his love for her. Oh, how he regretted it now. Shaking his head, he recalled their beautiful friendship, dwelling on the secrets that she had lovingly entrusted him with.

“Gil,” Anne said, a little melancholic after a particularly deep conversation between the two of them, “Could I tell you something? Something I’ve never told anyone else?”

He looked at her curiously, “Not even to Marilla or Diana?” At the shake of her head, he swallowed carefully, “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well, I never really thought of it till now. Do you really think anyone could love me? I mean romantically? I’m afraid that I’ve not grown up surrounded by love that I don’t know what I’m looking for. Marilla and Diana, they think me foolish with my fantastic ideals of love. But when I was about 5 or 6, I was living with a family who’d hired me as a work hand – to look after the children, you see. I remember their eldest son was much older than their youngest children. He was about 15 or 16. He wrote poetry and was melancholic. He was the only one in that household that ever paid any attention to me and snuck me food when no one was looking. I didn’t love him romantically of course, I was only 6, but I feel that’s where this all sprouted from in the end. Don’t you think it’s strange that these memories come back to us so many years later?”

Gilbert had stopped their walking a while back. He looked deep into her eyes and whispered, “Anne…”

Anne cleared her throat at the intimacy in his voice, and Gilbert immediately thought himself an idiot for letting such intimacy come about in this private moment, “Um, I should… go. I’ll see you later Gilbert.”

Thinking back to this moment now, just a few weeks before they went to Redmond, he knew how idiotic it was to ask for her hand. He wasn’t the brooding hero she had longed for her whole life – he was plain old Gilbert Blythe, ex-best friend of the most remarkable woman to walk the earth. Yes, she was…

 Nobody said it was easy; It’s such a shame for us to part; Nobody said it was easy; No one ever said it would be this hard; Oh, take me back to the start

 Gilbert saw the radiant girl – no, woman – waltz into the newly decorated hall on the arm of Royal Gardner. Her figure was dressed in an apple green with a low scooped neckline, and her ruddy tresses were laced with small snowdrops. She’s simply beyond beautiful tonight, and you can’t have her. He sighed, lacing his fingers with his ruddy curls, and pacing near the wide window that showed the snow covered land. His best friend – ex-best friend, he scoffed – was on the arm of another man and if the whispering around him was true, she would continue to be on his arm forever.

He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder, and he swung around to see Christine Stuart with a small smile gracing her lips. “Gilbert, are you ready for our dance? The band is set up now.” In the short while of pacing, the room had come to life. Women and men dressed to the nines, chatter erupting and creating an atmosphere of warmth. He nodded and grabbed her hand, placing it in the crook of his arm as they meandered to the dance floor.

They twirled and swayed slowly to the tune that was being softly played. Violins, piano, and flutes all filling his head with sweet song. Not as sweet as Anne, the thought rudely interrupted. He shook his head, gracing a glance at the couple dancing not two feet away from him and his partner. And I guess that is the man who will sit and read her Tennyson by firelight. Yes, but you would do that for her too…

“Gilbert, is everything alright?” He quickly looked up and then down, realising that he had stopped their slow dance and there were people hurrying to avoid crashing into them. “You’re awfully pale. Did you want to sit down for a spell, or perhaps get some air?”

“Um, yes please. I just need to be alone for a little while. Will you be alright? I’ll be back by the next dance.” Christine opened her mouth, but Gilbert had already started walking away continuing his pedantic running of fingers through his hair. Oh, why did you ask her to marry you anyway. You ruined everything; she could still be on your arm as a friend – best friend – not on the arm of that Royal guy. He gasped in the cold air and his hardened heart frosted over as the rivers seeped from his eyes.

 I was just guessing at numbers and figures; Pulling your puzzles apart; Questions of science, science, and progress; Do not speak as loud as my heart

 Every day Gilbert placed one foot in front of the other to pull himself out of bed, through the door and into the gates of Redmond to face his studies, and it was paying off. Another year without Anne; another year of topping every class. It was the easiest distraction from the rushing thoughts and escorting Christine around to various social gatherings. Pouring into schoolwork was always something he had enjoyed, but especially now when it was the only thing in his life that he could fully control. Especially when flashes of red hair and green eyes invaded his dreams every night. Especially when he couldn’t have her.

 Tell me you love me; Come back and haunt me; Oh, and I rush to the start; Running in circles, chasing our tails; Coming back as we are

 It hadn’t been so long ago that they were walking through Hester Gray’s garden – she was picking flowers and he was desperately trying to see more in their friendship. Days often turned to dusk while they were together. And oh, they could talk, or rather Anne could. In every memory he had of her, there were glimpses of moments that he had misconstrued as love. Fleeting touches – of course they were by accident – meaningful glances – Miss Lavender’s wedding, I think she did love me then, perhaps for a moment.

Anne was still very much on the arm of Royal Gardner at every social gathering, while Christine Stuart was on his own arm. The distractions of schoolwork and being up for the Cooper prevented Gilbert from taking in much of the gossip that surrounded the couples. In the back of his mind, he knew what they were saying. Gilbert to wed Christine and Royal to wed Anne. He knew the gossip around his love life was not true, Christine was engaged to another man and he didn’t think of her in that way. But Anne… All of those rumours could very well be true. Where would that leave him?

“Gilbert!” No… it couldn’t be her. “Gil!” And just like that her red hair was staring him in the face.

“Anne?”

“Yes, of course. Gilbert, I just wanted to congratulate you. It seems we are both on the honours list, I’ve just come from the dean’s office. Here,” she shoved a piece of paper into his hands, “see for yourself. It’s all so exciting!”

And in that moment Gilbert allowed himself back to those friendship days of Lover’s Lane, the Dryad’s Bubble, the Lake of Shining Waters, and imagined what it would be like to be with her in those places now. She continued to chatter but stopped when he suddenly gathered her into his arms. “Thank you, Carrots.” And he walked away, leaving her mouth wide open and a few tears gathered on her eyelashes.

 Nobody said it was easy; Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part; Nobody said it was easy; No one ever said it would be so hard; I’m going back to the start

 That moment of the honours list sustained him for some time. She was radiant at convocation in her dress with his flowers. His promise to her all those years ago. If we make it to graduation I’m sending you a bunch of Lilies of the Valley. The Cooper’s Prize was his and Anne had made the honour’s list for English. Well, of course. In the times that he has known her she has been the storyteller, and so honours in English was never a negotiable thing.

The dance began and through the crowd he could see her. She was once again in a shroud of pale green taffeta, his flowers laced through her hair. Everything slowed as they made eye contact with one another. He stumbled towards her, dropping Christine from his arm. As if in a daze, he made his way through the ballroom. But then he saw the haze of her eyes, and the shock in her face as she turned towards the entry of the room. She began to run out into the cool of the early summer night.

In that moment Gilbert knew exactly what he was doing, and yet his knees never stopped knocking, his hands never left his curls. He was going after her. And this time nothing was going to stop him. In the craze of the ballroom, he flung himself around dancing couples and out the door. In the moonlight he saw the pale skin of her throat accentuated by the curls let loose down her back.

“Anne!” She stopped her dazed walk but did not turn to face him. He quickly caught up to her and placed both hands on her cold shoulders. “Anne-girl, what’s wrong?”

“You did it again.” She murmured, which he barely caught through the howling wind.

“What?”

“You call me Anne-girl, you send me gifts, flowers, you never break your promises. And yet you look at me in the same way you always have, even after I broke your heart. Gil? How can you still look at me that way? I’ve never deserved it Gil… I’ve never…” It broke his heart more to have this precious girl crying in his arms over unspoken words, glances, and touches. But he did speak his heart over two years ago in that orchard. Could it be that she’s changed her mind? “And now, you’re going to marry Christine and it’s all my fault that I never understood… I never understood…”

“Anne-girl,” he said in reverence, “is that what this is about?” She pulled her head off his chest to look into his kind, hazel eyes, and he reached up to wipe away her tears. “I’m not engaged to marry Christine. It’s all silly rumours, one’s which I never paid much attention to anyway. You see… I have a dream. I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth-fire in it , a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends – and you!” ***

And there was once again that moment in which Anne looked at him like he thought he must look at her and he knew there was no separating them again.

 *Anne of Green Gables Chapter XV

**Anne of the Island Chapter XX

“That won’t be for a while yet I hope,” Jo teased lightly, though Anne could hear the truth in the words. 

“Not for a long, long while. Everything with Gilbert is so new that we’ve barely even mentioned the future. All I can say of Gilbert’s plans for the future, aside from his medical aspirations, is that he’d like for me to be there. I can say the same of him in my own plans. Right now, I’m more than content with such hazy views into our crystal ball.” 

“That is quite the way it should be, I think,” Jo agreed. “If you plot out every point in life, how can it take you on a wild adventure? Simple - it cannot. Many people are subjected to a lifetime of miserable mundanity because of it.”

Outside, a gust of wind struck the house with a fury, rattling the old walls with creaks and moans. Anne peeled the curtain away from the window once more, finding a hint of lavender light igniting a break in the clouds somewhere in the distance. She wondered where that little speck of land was where there would be no snow, just a royal hint of dusk on the crystal ground.

“How blessed I am to be awake to all the colors of life,” she breathed. Then, drawing the curtains back closed, Anne spun on her heel. “Enough of my poetical indulgences. We have yet to decide how we want to spend our evening snowed in. Is there, perhaps, a trio of Bronte sisters in our future?”

Aunt Jo was halfway through a hearty assent when an odd sound came from the front hallway. Anne’s laughter froze in her throat as she listened again. Silence fell over the house for another moment before being shattered by an insistent knock at the door. 

Grabbing her robe from the edge of the couch, Anne covered herself and crept toward the door. When she pulled it open, a flurry of snow swept into the foyer like a broken snow globe. A young man stood shivering, half an inch of snow blanketing his person. A scarf wrapped around his face shielded his cheeks, but Anne would have recognized those warm eyes anywhere. 

“Gilbert ? What are you - oh my goodness, you’re freezing. Get in here!” 

Before he could say a word, Gilbert was being dragged into the manse and pulled into Anne’s frantic embrace. She immediately recoiled away from all the snow on coat, and began unwrapping the scarf from his face. He was smiling underneath so tenderly that Anne’s hand froze midair as she moved to grab his hat. The apples of his cheeks were rosy from the cold and some snowflakes still hung from his dark lashes. She sighed, suddenly more lovesick than she ever remembered being. 

“I really missed you,” she whispered truthfully. 

Gilbert, still gently shivering from the cold, shucked off his coat and wrapped Anne in a tight embrace. Anne’s arms were around him immediately, rubbing warmth into his back in gentle circles. Resting his cold cheek against her shoulder, Gilbert heaved a sigh of relief. Her touch felt like fire light, incandescently warm and soft around the edges.

“I missed you too,” he murmured, digging his face closer to her loose hair. Anne could feel him grinning against her shoulder. “You smell nice.” 

Anne hummed in response. She wondered if it would be alright to tell him that he smelled nice too. Even though the scent of winter air stuck on his clothes, he still carried his usual essence of honey sweetness and cologne. But she couldn’t tell him that. It probably wouldn’t be alright, either, to tell him that his shoulders still felt strong, and that she liked the way he’d grown his hair out. Instead, she settled on, “Are you feeling any warmer?” 

Gilbert nodded, pulling back when he caught sight of Aunt Jo standing in the doorway.

“Much, thank you,” he murmured shyly. He couldn’t help how one of his hands had stayed at her waist, nor did he notice. It felt so natural to stay connected to her, and in person, he didn’t have to hide his connection to her anymore.

“Not that I’m not effervescent with happiness to see you, but what are you doing here? I thought you were arriving to Avonlea tomorrow.” Anne’s hand came up to his cheek as she spoke, wiping away a drop of melted snow that had fallen from his hair. 

“I thought I’d surprise you a day early, but then the storm rolled in. Apparently the tracks are all ice, so the last train to Carmody has been cancelled. I, uh..” He glanced up at Aunt Jo. “I didn’t bring enough money to stay anywhere because I was planning on making it home. The only place I could think of was here.”

“Ah, you came seeking refuge,” Aunt Jo chimed in. Gilbert blushed. He wasn’t one to ask for help, but apparently had the capacity to do it when the threat of frostbite loomed. It was a smart move, Anne had to admit, and a brave one. He’d never even met Aunt Jo before.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He straightened his shoulders under Aunt Jo’s appraising gaze. If Anne didn’t know any better, she’d say Aunt Jo delighted in making the poor boy squirm.

“You’ve come to the right place,” she said finally, and Gilbert inhaled a sharp sigh of relief. Then, remembering the manners his father taught him, he peeled off a glove and stuck his hand out. 

“Gilbert Blythe, ma’am. It’s an honor to meet you. I apologize for inviting myself on such short notice.” 

“Our paths were bound to cross at one point or another. You cannot thwart destiny where kindred spirits are involved, and my door is always open to kindred spirits.” Aunt Jo shook Gilbert’s hand with as much regality as he expected, then straightened the blanket on her shoulders. “Well, Anne-girl, I think the Bronte sisters will just have to wait for another night.”

“I don’t want to interfere with an evening with your beloved Charlotte,” Gilbert rushed to say, but Anne waved him away.

“I’ve read Jane Eyre dozens of times already, yet I’ve only spent a handful of minutes with you. And while I love both of those things, there’s just one I love much more than the other.” 

Gilbert had to bite back the grin that threatened to take over his lips. With a glint in his eye, he reached for his hat and scarf. 

“How presumptuous of me to assume I could compete with Charlotte Bronte. I’ll just be heading back into the blizzard, then. Fare thee well. Tell Jane Eyre I concede.” 

Before Gilbert could even think about reaching for the door, Anne interrupted his dramatic speech by grabbing his hand and pulling him to her side. Aunt Jo found the whole display rather amusing, much to Gilbert’s delight. At his side, Anne found herself nearly holding herself back when his face was so close and rosy, practically begging to be kissed. 

“I think I ought to let you two become acquainted while I reacquaint myself with Mr. Dickens and his ghost tales,” Aunt Jo said, darting a glance between them. “Gilbert, I’m sure you and I will have plenty of time to exchange stories on the train ride to Avonlea in the morning.”

It took a split second to realize exactly what Josephine was doing. She was leaving them alone in a house, unchaperoned, with only trust assuring her that nothing too immoral would occur. 

“Oh! Well, I look forward to it. I hear you’ve lived an adventurous life.”

“Funny, I hear the same of you. In fact, I hear a great many things about you on a daily basis,” she replied slyly, lifting a brow at Anne. 

“Goodnight, Aunt Jo,” Anne hissed between her teeth. “There’ll be plenty of time to tease me in the morning.” 

Aunt Jo gave one last appraising look at Gilbert, apparently approving of what she saw, before kissing the crown of Anne’s head. Her careful footsteps up the stairs left silence behind them, and suddenly Anne was entirely too aware of Gilbert’s presence beside her. His gentle fingers moved to hold hers, fitting together even better than she remembered. She peered down at their entwined hands in bewilderment. Was he truly here? 

The quiet was comfortable, giving Anne proper room to eat her heart out over her beloved with as many longing looks as she pleased. Through the thrumming of her heart and the haziness of her focus on him, she was only half aware of his arms wrapping around her waist.

“So, Anne-girl, huh?”

Anne bit her lip to force back a smile, watching his lips with keen interest. 

“I like it when you say it,” she admitted with a smile. 

For a moment, she wondered what exactly was appropriate for this moment. She knew what she wanted to do, but how could she know if it aligned with what she should do. Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to wrap her arms around his neck and catch his next words with her lips. Perhaps he’d think her strange if she placed her hand above his heart to feel it beating, or if she kissed the line where his jaw met his throat. It was a good thing he was holding her because she was melting. In a few more seconds, she’d dissolve into a puddle right in the middle of the foyer. 

Then again, he only spurred her demise by leaning his cheek against hers. Anne shivered. His skin was still frigid to the touch, but she kissed the icy spot before pulling away.

“You’re still so cold. Come on,” she said, pulling him by his hand into the parlor. 

Heat hit them like a wall, blazing comfortably from the hearthfire. Gilbert’s gaze was just as warm as he watched Anne lay out a blanket and some pillows in front of the fire. She settled on one of the cushions, then reached her hand toward him. He as at her side in an instant, his hand finding her cheek. 

“It doesn’t seem real that you should be here,” Anne said dreamily. 

“Me? You’re the ethereal creature that saved me from a frozen death. I really had no idea you’d be here. I was certain you’d have made it back to Avonlea hours ago.” 

“I tried, but the trains started getting canceled nearly as soon as the storm began. We’re supposed to experience record breaking temperatures tonight, and I knew that if I tried to keep warm all by myself in the boarding house, I’d only make an icicle of myself. So I came here.”

Gilbert nodded in understanding, eyes wandering to the rest of the room. It seemed he was only just realizing how grand the manse was, especially when the lights were dimmed. It also seemed to occur to him that they were completely, utterly alone. 

“Cole has gone to bed for the night?” he asked carefully.

“Cole actually is spending Christmas with a friend of ours. They’re going to see some museums in Montreal. You actually might remember Roy from my letters.” 

Gilbert scowled. “That English major that thought he could convince you to court him instead of me? Yes, I remember.” 

“Fortunately, my convincing abilities are far better than his. Once I assured him that I would never leave you, he quit all of his advances. Besides, I have it on good authority that his affections lay heartily elsewhere.” 

His jaw caught shadows as he nodded. “So, we’re alone?” 

Anne smiled coyly, causing Gilbert to swallow. There was so much overwhelming him all at once - the possibility to have a conversation without any interruptions for hours and hours, the porcelain skin above the lace of her dress where freckles traced a trail up her throat, and the incessant need to kiss her for as long as she would allow him. He feared he would confess these incoherent longings, so he remained silent after she said, “Yes, love, we’re alone.” 

At his speechlessness, Anne situated herself closer before him, grabbing his hands that rested on his knees. Of course she could read his mind, he thought to himself. Either that, or she was feeling the exact same thing. Maybe both? 

“I’m not entirely sure how to go about this,” Anne admitted. “You know I haven’t courted anyone before.” 

Gilbert realized a shaky breath, kneeling before her to bring her as close as possible. 

“This sort of thing shouldn’t have rules or guidelines,” he whispered. Her cheeks took on a strawberry hue when he leaned closer to her. “I don’t want to worry about what hours people say I can see you or how other people think I should or shouldn’t touch you. I want you to tell me when you want to see me.” 

Anne grasped his hand tighter, grounding herself. 

“And how I want you to touch me?” The words almost knocked the air from his lungs. He nodded slowly. “Then can we just stop dancing around each other?” 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

Instead of answering, Anne surged forward and captured her lips against his. He tasted like freshly fallen snow looks, sweet and smooth. Suddenly, they were transported back to a moment on the front lawn of her boarding house where kissing her seemed to make every mystery of the world fall into place. One of his hands held desperately to her waist, the other pressed against the floor to hold them up. All bets were off, though, when she buried her hands into the hair she loved so much and pressed him against her chest. The arm so steadily holding them upright went slack and they fell to the side, almost bumping foreheads. Laughter erupted out of them like champagne bubbles. 

“ Shhh! She’ll hear us!” Anne whispered with a smile, settling on her back to face him. Hovering over her, Gilbert smiled as he watched the firelight flicker over her freckles. He released a shuddering sigh over her lips before running a finger down her face. Would he ever grow accustomed to being with this woman? To holding her? To seeing her grey eyes turn into lightning storms at his touch?

It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he stay in this moment, right here. Anne’s hands found his cheeks, pulling him down with reverence and kissing him with a tenderness he’d always known she possessed.  Lowering himself from his hands to his elbows, Gilbert shuddered into her touch. 

The only thing that could’ve broken the moment for them echoed down the foyer staircase. Thankfully Aunt Jo spared them the embarrassment of coming all the way downstairs.

“Anne! Make sure you feed that man of yours. I’m sure he’s hungry!”  

Breaking away from Gilbert with a jolt, Anne pressed a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing again. 

“Alright! Thank you!” she called back. Then, glancing up at the man above her, she ran her thumb over his lower lip. “Are you hungry?” 

Gilbert collapsed at her side with a sigh. 

“A bit. I haven’t eaten since I left Toronto.”

“Gilbert!” Anne admonished. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

He shrugged. “I guess I just...forgot I was hungry.” 

“Let me make you something to eat. You can tell me all about your trip.” 

Some time later, there was a warm plate in front of Gilbert that he demolished on like a man who’d never had a meal in his life. Anne rested her head on her palm and a little more color return to his face. They talked about everything they could think of - odd students in their classes, old memories from their school days, news from their friends. The one topic they hadn’t broached was that of the “follow up questions” they’d saved for when they reunited in person. That is, until a distracted expression came over Gilbert’s face as he rolled a potato around his plate. 

“Can I ask you something, Anne?” 

“Always,” was her immediate response. 

“You mentioned in your letter that you saw Winifred in town the day that I came and saw you, but you never told me what she said.” 

“She told me you’d decided not to propose,” Anne said easily.

“No, I mean, I knew that. But what did she say?” 

Anne shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She knew that no matter the answer she gave, it wouldn’t change anything that had happened. 

“At first she thought I was there to gloat. She must’ve assumed that you’d gotten right off the train and broken her trust right away. I’m surprised she didn’t know you well enough to know you’d never do that.” And expected you to marry her, was what Anne wanted to say, but bit back. 

Gilbert kept his eyes glued to the wood grain of the table.

“But I did break her trust,” he admitted. “That letter I wrote you revealed everything I promised I’d wait to say. But I couldn’t, and-”

“Hey,” Anne interrupted, reaching across the table for his hand. “I would’ve done the same thing. Besides, even if I had read the letter you wrote, I would have never judged her or told anyone else. I believe it all happened the way it was supposed to.” 

He still wouldn’t meet her eyes, but nodded. 

“What else did she say?” 

Anne took a deep breath. “Once she realized that I really didn’t know anything that happened, she said this to me:  ‘He couldn’t marry me because his unrequited love for you isn’t ever going away .’ I think she figured out right away though that you were mistaken when you told her your feelings were unrequited.” She paused. “Why do you want to know?” 

“Curiosity, mostly. But I also worried that because I’d left her heartbroken, she’d be cruel to you. I’m glad she wasn’t, but the thought of anyone behaving hateful to you because of me makes me feel sick.” 

“Gilbert, there is nothing hateful or cruel about you. No one could ever be anything but good on your behalf.” She smirked. “Besides, I have thick skin and a smart head on my shoulders.”  

A heavy sigh left Gilbert, releasing a heavy burden from his shoulders that he didn’t know he’d been carrying. Anne wiggled his fingers with a smile. 

“It all makes for a good story to tell the kids,” she teased, but they both knew what she was suggesting. 

Gilbert’s throat grew thick. With the burden of his guilt alleviated and the promise of the future resting in the air, his heart grew light with affection. 

“I want that too,” he managed to say sincerely. Anne returned his smile with so much love laced in it that Gilbert’s heart jumped in his chest. 

Later that night, Anne leaned against the doorframe of one of the guest rooms while Gilbert appraised the space with amazement. 

“I don’t know if you brought nightclothes, but Cole is only a little bit taller than you. I’m sure he has some in his room you could borrow. If you get hungry again, the kitchen is well stocked.” 

“You’re wonderful, Anne, but I promise I’m all set.” 

She nodded, not moving a muscle. 

“Alright, then. Goodnight,” she said evenly, a playful glint in flickering in her eyes. Gilbert knew a hint when he saw one. He crossed the length of the room and cupped her face the way he so loved to. Anne had already closed her own in blissful acceptance of the kiss, sighing when it came with tender sweetness. 

“Goodnight, my love,” he murmured, pressing one last kiss to her forehead.

When Anne closed her own door behind her, she pressed her back up against it and released a shaky breath. Marilla had told her being with the person you love was worth sacrifice, heartache, and all the tribulations of life, but Anne never shared the perspective until then. The trials of the world didn’t seem so insurmountable now, with the promise of  Gilbert at her side. 

Alone in her room, Anne became aware of all the things she’d been distracted from wrapped in Gilbert’s warm embrace. The first, of course, was that it was freezing. No matter how many blankets she threw on top of the bed or how many pairs of socks she borrowed from the guest dresser, she felt the chill from her fingers all through her body. She tried to focus on the hollowing of the wintry wind outside her window, but it seemed to keep her up even more. How had she been content and warm by the fire only a few hours ago? Certainly by now, the fire had gone out and there would be no warming up. 

Finally, Anne firmly made up her mind that enough was enough. Slipping out of bed, her cold toes met an even colder ground. She slipped one of the wool blankets from her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders to guard her from the hallway’s cold breezes. With astounding stealth, Anne crept down the hallway without creaking any old boards or startling any mice. When she made it to Gilbert’s guest room, she drew in a breath and knocked on the door. 

No answer. Anne sighed. The poor boy was probably exhausted from his traveling, fast asleep. Fortunately, he left the door unlocked, allowing Anne to sneak in before anyone was the wiser. Tightening the blanket around her shoulders, she called out in a strong whisper. 

“Gilbert?” 

Even though he seemed fast asleep, her voice was enough to stir him out of his dream. Hair wild and eyes groggy, he propped himself up on an arm. 

“Anne?” he croaked, voice rough from sleep. “Sweetheart, is everything okay?” 

Suddenly uncertain, she shifted her weight. 

“I’m so cold, I can’t sleep,” she admitted miserably. 

Without hesitating, Gilbert reached for her, opening his own covers up when she was close enough to slide in. He made room for her without complaint, smiling at the relief that washed over her. When she laid down completely, she was right in the warm spot he’d just been in. So comfortable and warm, Anne wondered how they were even in the same house. 

“Better?” he whispered, eyes heavy. 

“Almost.” She reached for him, pulling him so that he was close enough to bury her face into the soft fabric of his shirt. At Gilbert’s hesitation to overstep any boundaries, she pulled his arm to wrap on her waist. Still, it rested there too loosely, as if he was scared to tighten his grip. Moonlight bathed his cheeks when she met his eyes. “Gilbert, you said you wanted to know what I want. I’d like it if you held me. That is, if you’re comfortable.” 

He did not have to be told twice. Suddenly the arm on her waist snaked around even further, and the other one wrapped beneath her, pulling her close to his chest. Anne returned the favor as she ran her hand up and down his back. 

“How’s that?” 

“Perfect,” she breathed. Focusing on the sound of his breath, she leaned forward and kissed where his heart was slowing to a sleeping pace in his chest. The cold which seemed so unavoidable before was completely forgotten. In its place was a clear view of the future as crisp as the stars above the storm clouds.