#anixtey

The idea of sharing a bed with anyone, not just Kon, makes him feel too conscious and uncomfortable, he’s paranoid he’s going to accidently wake them up, or that he may fidget too much and annoy them. He doesn’t know why he’s so worried about it but it’s never really been a thing until recent years after he started crashing in random places with his teammates.

It’s now nearing 3am and Tim curses himself because he should have gone to his own room instead of following Kon to his. It’s too late to head to his room, Kon would wake up in the morning and question why Tim wasn’t there and in order to not lie to his boyfriend Tim would be forced to explain his weird sharing a bed phobia thing he's got going on.

Tim sighs quietly and tries to force himself to relax enough so he could go to sleep, meanwhile Kon is next to him dead to the world. Lucky bastard. Unfortunately Tim is now caught in the ruthless cycle of where his brain won’t switch off enough for him to go to sleep and then he's getting agitated because he can’t sleep which is making him even more agitated which is making it more difficult to sleep and so forth.

What makes the situation worse is that this isn’t their first time sharing a bed. In the years they had been best friends and then the couple months they’ve been dating, they’ve shared beds before but never in this sense. The previous times have been either quick naps on couches, or passing out together from pure exhaustion or dozing off while binge watching TV. They’ve never intentionally gone to bed together. This is completely throwing Tim in all different kinds of directions.

Tim looks at the clock on the bedside table again and finds only ten minutes have gone by and groans internally. That’s when Kon suddenly starts shifting next to him, sucking in a sharp breath and freezing in place Tim waits in anticipation to see what Kon is doing, however all his boyfriend does is change the position of his legs and lets out a long sigh and continues to blissfully sleep on.

Tim breaths out gratefully. It’s already been a long night and he knows there’s still a long way to go. He knows he's going to be tired tomorrow from the lack of sleep but as long as he doesn’t wake Kon up then that’s the main thing.

============

Now he’s clocked on to it Tim can’t help but notice how stiff and tense he becomes anytime he and Kon lie together, although he has picked up on that he isn’t as bad on couches as he is on beds. Thankfully Kon hasn’t seemed to notice his behaviour yet, at least if he has he hasn’t said anything to Tim about it.

The next time Tim gets worked up oversleeping next to Kon is when his boyfriend suggests they go to bed at the end of movie night with the team. From where they were snuggled up on the couch underneath a blanket, Kon had leaned in close letting his lips ghost over the ridge of his ear while he whispered somewhat seductively that they retire for the night.

Unfortunately Kon’s words had the opposite reaction to the desired effect he had been going for. Tim instantly freezes up at the idea of going to bed together. It wasn’t the idea of sex that put him off, he was always happy to participate in those activities, it was the concept of sleeping next to each other throughout the night which would inevitably happen after their so called activities. As the whole thing has been on the forefront of his mind Tim gets worked up over it far quicker and easier than normal.

Noticing his reaction Kon instantly pulled back and checked in with him, the seductive tone completely gone from his voice as he asks if Tim is okay. Keeping his gaze on the screen playing the film Tim merely nods.

Without making it seem more obvious that there’s something off with him Tim ends up once again in Kon’s room after the movies. He and Kon silently get ready for bed, their earlier conversation seeming to have killed any mood that may have once been the focal point of the night and Tim tries to not dwell on it. He does feel guilty for ruining Kon’s mood though.

Saying their goodnights they climb into bed and share a kiss before settling down for the night. They don’t cuddle which Tim was both disappointed and pleased about, but more than anything else Tim finds himself already worked up about being in bed with Kon. Kon, the lucky bastard that he is, instantly falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, Tim could hear soft snores coming from his left.

Tim tries. He really does attempt to fall sleep next to Kon that night. He turns onto his side, tucking his arm underneath the pillow and buries his face into fluffiness of it, sadly the comfort of the position last no more than a couple minutes before the urge of needing to turn back over is too great to ignore. Gritting his teeth Tim turns around and does his best to not disturb Kon in his slumber.

It's easy to say he doesn’t sleep well that night. He may get a twenty minute nap here and there where he dozes but never actually falls into a deep sleep.

By early morning he’s overly tired and beyond agitated. When he glances at the clock for the eighth  time in the space of five minutes Tim knows it’s time to call it quits with the charade of pretending to sleep. Being as careful as he could Tim untangles the sheet from his body and climbs out of bed. Continuing with being as quiet as he could, Tim gathers up with clothing in the dark before making his way out of Kon’s room and silently shuts the door behind him.

Because of the time it is Tim doesn’t plan to try and go back to sleep, instead he heads to his own bedroom and gets dressed in some workout gear before heading to the training rooms. It’s not the first time he’s done an extra early training session so at least he can play on that if anyone – Kon – asks what he’s doing, it’s a plausible excuse really, also it provides the opportunity to work off some of that agitation he’s still feeling.

Sure enough when Kon finds him almost three hours later as Tim is finishing up he asks if everything is okay and Tim simply shrugs stating he wanted to get some extra training in that day so he got up early to do so. Tim doesn’t let Kon question him further by stepping up to his boyfriend planting a kiss on his cheek and wanders out of the training room in order to go and shower. As he walks away Tim knows he’s only just managed to dodge a bullet there.

============

It shouldn’t surprise Tim that he feels the same awkwardness sleeping next to Kon when they’re at the farm as he does when they’re at the Tower but it still does.

He lies there, next to his peacefully sleeping boyfriend, annoyed at himself and at the world. It takes all of his self-restraint to not groan out loud and throw a fit at the unfairness of it all while at the same time he fights the urge to cry out his all of his emotions.

As he stares into the darkness of the room Tim’s mind wonders. While he’s annoyed he couldn’t sleep, and how conscious he is about waking up Kon, it also doesn’t help that his brain doesn’t turn off long enough for him to be able to relax. His mind is working about a hundred miles per hour, thinking about all kinds of different things and random shit he doesn’t know how his brain has comes up with it.

In life, it takes a lot of things to go right for you to stay alive but only a couple things to go wrong for you to die.

Right, Tim shakes his head to clear that thought from his mind, thanks brain, time to really stop thinking now.

Already knowing what the rest of the night is going to be like Tim saves himself the struggle and simply climbs out of bed as soon as he knows Kon isn’t going to wake back up any time soon. He probably spent an hour in bed at the most this time and while he feels bad about leaving Kon alone Tim just can’t make himself stay in bed trying pitifully to fall asleep knowing he’ll only get up in the morning feeling ill from tiredness.

Tim quietly makes his way out of the bedroom and heads for the living room of the farmhouse. Thankfully it’s just them two in the house as Ma and Pa are staying in a hotel that evening, the elderly couple had stopped for the night as they travel back from up state after visiting some friends. Before settling down on one of the living room couches Tim decides to do a detour to the kitchen and helps himself to a cup of tea. He’s long grown used to helping himself in the Kent farmhouse, he knows he’s more than welcome to help himself to anything available and he feels comfortable enough to do so, anytime he visits the farm all the Kents (Kon included) regularly tell him he’s welcomed to have anything he wants.

Once he’s got his steaming cup of tea ready he heads back into the living room and grabs a blanket from the back of the couch before settling down onto the plush cushions. After a moment of just sitting serenely in the peace and quiet of the room Tim reaches for the remote on the coffee table in front of him and turns the TV on. After finding some mind numbing content – there really isn’t much too choose from at this time of night - he puts it on mute and sticks on the subtitles so he doesn’t accidently wake Kon up with the noises.

Tim’s not sure how long he spends judging what the shopping channel is trying to convince him to buy but at some point he must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing he knows is that he’s being lightly roused by his boyfriend. As Tim blinks, feeling somewhat groggy from his sleep, he finds Kon kneeling in front of him wearing a frown.

“Tim, how long have you been here?” Kon asks sounding concerned.

“I don’t, I uh…” Tim rubs his eyes and tries to wake up properly. Seeing as the room is now bathed in golden light from the sun he squints at Kon, “what time is it?”

“It’s 6:30, I’m about to go and tend to the animals.”

At least Tim has enough brain power in him so he doesn’t blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. He gives himself a second to think before answering. “An hour maybe, not long.”

Even in his half asleep state, god he hates mornings, Tim could tell Kon didn’t believe his words. Fortunately instead of prodding him for the truth Kon lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “Okay. Why don’t you go back to bed and grab a couple more hours of sleep. I’ll tend to the animals and make breakfast then I’ll come and grab you okay.”

Already on his way to falling back to sleep Tim hums and nods in agreement. Kon smiles and stands up, he leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead and helps him up off the couch before shuffling him off to the bedroom to get more sleep.

============

The next time Tim is faced with sleeping next to Kon he doesn’t even go to bed.

The reason he never made it to bed that night is half because of avoidance and half because he genuinely got distracted by work that he completely lost track of time.

He and Kon are in his bedroom in the Manor. Kon had come around after declaring ‘it’s been too long since they last saw each other’ and decided to make a physical appearance. Tim certainly wasn’t complaining about it, he loved seeing Kon and being able to talk to him without a screen in the way is so much better, plus there’s the bonus he actually gets to physically hold and kiss Kon whenever he wants.

After an amazing dinner prepared by Alfred, he and Kon retired to Tim’s room for the night. While it wasn’t Tim’s scheduled night to go out on patrol he still had work to do and the rest of their evening had been spent with Kon lounging on his bed watching Netflix while Tim multitasked between working and talking to Kon. They chat about anything and everything and Tim feels himself smiling widely in a way he hasn’t done for a while, probably since he last saw Kon which had been a couple weeks ago.

As they chat Tim loses track of time, not that he had ever been tracking it to begin with, and he only notices how late it is when Kon yawns loudly from his bed. Feeling guilty Tim turns around on his chair so he faces Kon and for the first time he notices how close his boyfriend is to falling asleep.

“Hey, if you want to go to bed I don’t mind. You didn’t have to stay awake for so long when you’re clearly tired.” Tim tells him with a small frown.

Kon yawns again and waves a hand around dismissively. “No it’s okay. It’s just been a long day but hitting the hay sounds great right now,” Kon glances at him knowingly, “will you be joining me?” By his gaze alone Tim could tell Kon already knows his answer but his boyfriend probably felt complied to ask anyway.

Tim shakes his head. “I still have a bit to do but once I’m done I’ll join you.”

Kon hums passively, looking disappointed but unsurprised by his answer. “Alright, just don’t be too long.”

“I won’t be. I just have to finish this while I’m at it.”

As Kon gets off his bed and heads for the ensuite, Tim gets the rest of the room ready for his boyfriend. He turns the TV off and changes the lamps over so it’s only his small desk one on, he removes anything other than the pillows from the bed and pulls back the covers so it’s all sorted for Kon when he’s finished his nightly routine.

Tim’s settled at his desk by the time Kon comes back into the room wearing nothing but his boxers. From out of the corner of his eye Tim couldn’t help but stare at his boyfriend, of course he’s trying to be subtle about it but from the sound of Kon’s laugh he’s clearly been caught in the act. Perhaps if it was another night where Kon wasn’t exhausted and Tim wasn’t caught up in his work they could have done something more before going to sleep but unfortunately tonight is not that night. From opposite sides of the room they bid their goodnights and fall silent.

A sense of déjà vu washes over Tim when he’s shaken awake the next morning. He finds Kon next to him wearing a disapproving frown on his face and it takes a moment for him to realise why. Right. He fell asleep at his desk sometime during the night.

Tim finished what he had been working on not too long after Kon had gone to bed so really that’s when he should have called it a night, after all that’s what he had told Kon he’d do, however the thought of accidentally waking Kon up as he climbs into bed was enough to stop him from approaching the mattress at all. In the end he found another project to work on instead and mentally prepared himself to pull an all-nighter.

Clearly that hadn’t happened because Kon found him slumped over his desk fast asleep. His boyfriend looked less than impressed and all Tim could do was flash him a sheepish smile and play it off like he normally would.

============

Tim should have known that eventually Kon would corner him about his behaviour towards sharing a bed at night. It’s been happening for weeks now and clearly Kon’s had enough because he ultimately decides to confront Tim about it.

When Kon decides that he wants to talk about it, it’s a random weekday night and Tim is caught off guard by it and didn’t have the chance to mentally prepare for the conversation. He knows that was Kon’s intention. The unexpectedness of it didn’t allow him the chance to come up with realistic arguments to validate his behaviour meaning he was left stumped when trying to answer Kon. If there’s one person he can’t lie to, it’s Kon.

The team had been sent on a mission in a different city and because it needed to be completed during the day they ended up renting out a large condo (discretely hidden in the city) to serve as their base for the duration of the mission.

During the evening when they were lounging around absently watching a film on the TV, Kon gets up from the beanbag he had been on and stretches and glances around the room. “We’re calling it a night now, so see you lot in the morning.”

The sentence gets him a few odd looks considering what the time is but no one comments and everyone simply bids their goodnights. From his place on the love seat Tim gives him his goodnight but doesn’t pay much attention because he's busily on his phone prepping for the mission. He only looks up from the device when he feels like he’s being watched and finds that everyone in the room is in fact staring at him.

“What?” He asks in confusion. Had he done something wrong? What did he miss?

Kon narrows his eyes at him and jerks his head to the side in the direction of their room was. “We’re, meaning you and I, Tim, are going to bed. Right now.”

Tim sends his boyfriend a baffled look. “Are we? I’m okay, you can go ahead and I’ll join you later. I’m not tired.”

Kon continues to stare at him and Tim has no idea what he's thinking. “That wasn’t a request.”

A beat of silence goes by. Tim is completely thrown off by the sudden no nonsense tone Kon has going on. The tense atmosphere between them is broken by Cassie groaning loudly.

“Oh for goodness sakes! We’ve told you guys to keep your foreplay to yourselves and not do it in front of us.”

Tim breaks eye contact with Kon to glance at Cassie who is looking both annoyed and bored with their behaviour. The whole thing only adds more to Tim’s confusion, is Kon demanding them to go to bed an euphemism for them to have sex? Did he miss the memo? Usually when one of them hints towards that sort of thing it’s more playful and both parties quickly get on board but Tim hasn’t picked up any of the sort from Kon this time.

Kon rolls his eyes at Cassie’s words and send the blonde a pointed look. “Tim and I need to talk actually.”

That only adds makes Tim even more confused than before. He glances around again and catches some of the curious looks sent his way, Tim could only shrug back in response because he has no idea either.

“Should we reorganise the rooms if you guys are breaking up?” Bart pipes up from where he’s sprawled out on the floor surrounded by empty food packets.

Kon scoffs, “what? No. We’re not breaking up. Tim and I just need to talk about something and now is the perfect time.” Kon turns to Tim wearing a determined expression. “Let’s go.”

Figuring he doesn’t have a choice in the matter Tim slowly climbs to his feet and reluctantly follows Kon through the condo to their shared room. Being the only couple on the team they got dibs on the only room with a double bed in it, everyone else is split between the rooms that all have twin beds in them. Tim mentally wishes he had a single bed, not that he doesn’t mind sharing with Kon and is grateful they’re sharing a room, however only having the one bed doesn’t help his ‘problem’ he’s recently been having.

After stepping through the door Kon shuts it behind him and Tim takes a tentative seat on the edge of the mattress and sends his boyfriend a worried look. “Are you okay Kon? You said we’re not breaking up, which I’m relieved about by the way, but what’s wrong. What’s with the sudden need to talk to me?”

Kon comes and stands in front of him, he glowers at Tim and crosses his arms over his chest. “You tell me Tim. I’ve been waiting for you to approach me about it for a while now but since you haven’t I decided to come to you instead.”

When Kon pauses Tim waits for him to elaborate his point although when he doesn’t Tim throws his hands up exasperatedly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Kon!”

Huffing Kon shakes his head as if Tim's being the unreasonable one.

“Sharing a bed with me Tim! Why won’t you sleep with me?” He pauses and blinks as if realising what he said before quickly adding, “and I mean literal sleeping, not sex. You’re never in bed with me for a whole night, I can’t remember the last time I woke up with you by my side.”

Freezing Tim gapes at Kon. He’s shocked with the fact he’s now having to face reality of his problem and he’s got no idea on how to deal with it. It’s so stupid and embarrassing that Tim really would rather not talk about it.

“I uh… well, um…” Tim mumbles for a moment before trailing off unsure on what to say or even where to start. Unfortunately Kon takes his lack of explanation the wrong way instead of seeing Tim’s embarrassment of the situation and jumps the gun.

“Am I that revolting to sleep next to or something Tim? Is it that bad having to share a bed with me that you never actually do so? So what, we have sex and that’s all we get to do on a mattress, we never have lazy morning make outs or cuddles.”

The more Kon talks the worse Tim feels. When his boyfriend stops speaking Tim tries to explain but he can’t seem to find the words to articulate his thoughts and feelings on the matter. His silence only fuels Kon’s frustration.

“Have you got nothing to say Tim? Not even an explanation? And here I was thinking we agreed to always share our thoughts and feelings no matter what.”

To that comment Tim manages to find some words. “We did! I do talk to you Kon. You’re the person I trust most in this world.”

“But apparently not enough.” Kon says dejectedly. His voice has gone soft now, the frustration and fight having drained out of him. His boyfriend looks hurt at the idea of Tim not truthfully talking to him and it breaks Tim’s heart, he had never intended to hurt Kon like that.

Tim feels his emotions building up and there’s a pressure developing behind his eyes. As he looks up at Kon he refuses to cry. “It’s not like that I promise Kon, it’s just – god – it’s so embarrassing I don’t know how to explain it. But please don’t think it’s anything you’ve done, it’s not you it’s me, I’m the one with the problem here.”

Kon breathes out a long sigh and to Tim's surprise he comes and crouches down in front of him, his hands land on Tim's knees squeezing them reassuringly.

“Talk to me Tim,” Kon whispers, “tell me what's going on. You know I won’t judge.”

Swallowing a lump in his throat Tim covers Kon’s hands with his own and holds them tightly. “I don’t think I can say it Kon. It’s so embarrassing to even think about.” He has to glance away after that admission, unable to face his boyfriend any longer.

Tim feels Kon squeeze his hands and he’s grateful when Kon doesn’t pursue the topic, he’s pretty sure that if the conversation continued on for any longer Tim will end up breaking down and that’s the last thing he wants or needs right now.

“Okay.” Kon says with a sense of finality. “What about to tonight though? Would you like to share or I can go somewhere else?”

The question only makes Tim want to cry. He sighs, hating the words that he’s about to say, “I can go somewhere else, I think it’s best we stay separate for now.”

His boyfriend doesn’t argue and when Tim glances at him he catches the disappointed look on his face before it changes again. “It’s okay, I’ll go somewhere else tonight.”

Then just like that Kon gets to his feet, plants a kiss on Tim’s forehead, and heads for the door of the bedroom. He’s gone before Tim could even think to react. Tim stays seated on the bed, left staring at the space Kon had just occupied feeling nothing but guilty and awful.

Predictably, that night Tim didn’t sleep very well. And this time it isn’t because he was too conscious about waking up his boyfriend, quite the opposite really. His mind thought about nothing else other than Kon and Tim felt himself drowning in his guilt for how their conversation played out.

Thankfully in the morning none of the team commented about him and Kon. They clearly picked up on that something happened between them but thankfully kept their questions to themselves. Going forward Tim knows he's going to have to face his problem and speak to Kon although for now that’s a task for another day. He’s got a mission to compete.

============

Tim hates hospitals. Well, more accurately, the infirmary. To be honest he hates any healthcare setting that involves a loved one being unconscious on a medical bed with various of wires and tubes attached to them that’s helping to keep them alive.

His boyfriend is unconscious on the bed before him, he’s breathing somewhat shallowly, different parts of his body are covered with white bandages and the parts of his usually immaculate skin that aren’t covered by bandages is painted with various shades of blues and browns from deep bruising.

From his position next to Kon’s bed Tim’s sat in a rather uncomfortable plastic chair holding one of Kon’s hands in both of his own. As small as it is Tim finds the physical touch grounding, of course he’d rather hold all of Kon but at least it’s something. He doesn’t know how long he’s been there although it’s certainly been long enough for his lower body to have grown numb, people have been and gone, some of them trying to coax Tim away so he can get proper rest but Tim’s refused to move anywhere.

Kon’s current state is a result of a battle gone bad. His boyfriend had already been running low of energy before the 36 hour battle that took place. Kon had fought with everything he had but the enemy had been crafty and unfortunately they had tricks up their sleeves that allowed them to get the upper hand over his superpowered teammates, including his Kryptonian. It’s thanks to Bart’s quick thinking that they were able to get Kon back to the infirmary and treated which ultimately saved Kon’s life.

Kon’s woken up a few times since then however each time he’s been groggy and adorably confused. It helps ease Tim’s mind that he’s waking up and appears to be on the road to recovery even though it’s still worrying that he hasn’t bounced back as quickly as he normally does when injured.

Tim’s distracted from his thoughts when he feels Kon’s hand twitch in his own. Looking up Tim focuses on his boyfriend’s face to watch for any signs that he may be waking up.

“Kon?” His boyfriend shifts on the mattress and lets out a low groan in discomfort. “Hey, c’mon Kon, wake up for me.” Tim gently probes him, selfishly wanting to see Kon’s blue eyes open once again.

Another groan is made but it’s paired with Kon’s eye lashes fluttering as he tries to open them up. Tim squeezes his hand in encouragement and soon enough Kon is looking at him with a tired expression.

“There you are,” Tim says softly, “how are you feeling?”

Kon slowly blinks and it takes a moment for him to answer. “Like Krypto’s ran me over while going 100 miles per hour.”

Tim snorts, amused by his comment. Eventually he gets a proper answer out of him and Tim helps him to drink some water before feeding him a small helping of dry food. Once the foods been digested Kon is already on his way to falling back asleep.

His boyfriend buries his face into the pillow behind him and then turns slightly so he could look at Tim, unable to help himself Tim smiles and reaches out to brush a hand through his hair. Kon hums in contentment and his eyes slip shut and it’s when Tim is sure Kon is fast asleep that he goes to pull away but he’s stopped when Kon grabs his wrist instead.

“Stay,” Kon whispers, the Kryptonian changes his hold on Tim’s wrist until their fingers are intertwined, “please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Tim tells him resolutely. Nothing will make Tim move from Kon’s bedside until his boyfriend is back on his feet happy and healthy.

Kon shakes his head which makes Tim frown. His boyfriend tugs his wrist and shuffles sideways on the bed until there’s a gap on the left side. When it clicks to what Kon wants Tim sighs and stops Kon’s tugging.

“Kon I can’t. There’s not enough room and you need the space so you can rest properly.”

“I want to feel you.” His boyfriend continues his insistent tugging. “I know you don’t feel comfortable with it but I want you next to me. Please.”

Tim meets his gaze and that’s his downfall, Kon has a powerful puppy dog look as it is but it’s only made stronger because of his current state regarding his injuries. Tim cannot do anything but obey his request.

After several moments of shifting and rearranging Kon on the bed where Tim isn’t getting in the way of any wires and tubes still attached to him, the two of them soon find a comfortable position where Tim is reclined against the pillows and Kon is tucked up against his side with Tim’s arm wrapped around him holding him close.

As soon as he’s got what he wanted Kon instantly falls asleep against him and Tim doesn’t mind it at all. The dead weight against him will probably cause pins and needles later on but in this position Tim can easily feel the way Kon breathes and it helps him know his boyfriend is going to be alright.

Even with Tim’s weird issue of not being able to sleep next to Kon, something they eventually had talked about, a topic which occupied hours of their time, Tim for once doesn’t feel anxious about it. He doesn’t feel worried that he’s going to wake Kon up and with him in such close proximity of his boyfriend if anything goes south Tim is right there to deal with it. This is most certainly the best solution for everyone involved.