Well it’s gone and finally done it, a HS:BC upd8 has finally managed to raise my heart rate like the original comic’s upd8s once did. Whether out of excitement or impassioned fury I can’t say for sure.
I find myself getting impatient with how long it’s taking for Jake (both versions) to Rise Up and do something impressive for the first time since the end of the original comic. Candy Jake almost had it in the bag in this one! And then once again he got dunked on and has now been dumped onto the front lines of a war zone he has no business being on.
Fucks sake, when will this guy catch a damn break for once? When will we finally get to see the reminder that this mustachioed goober is a god in his own right?
When it does happen, if it ever happens, it had better be awesome and cataclysmic, just like before GAME OVER, just like before the Masterpiece. Perhaps even biblically apocalyptic, if we want to lean into the imagery of the angels Jake spawns with alarming ease at full blast. After all, aren’t those winged entities the very same which paradox space uses to usher in The End?
I want to see once again the power that nearly tore Derse apart, that overpowered the fire of the Green Sun, that denied even the power of the arcane majyyks Caliborn and Lord English wield with reality-breaking ease.
Hasn’t Jake been through enough already in Candy? Doesn’t he deserve to Make Jane Pay? Even, perhaps to Make Them All Pay? To tear the world asunder for his son, if need be?
Jake is a god. It’s long past time he started acting like one. And sometimes that means the wicked —like the forces President Crocker is mustering against the trolls — deserve a good old fashioned mass-smiting.
In place of a president let them have a king — not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn, treacherous as the sea, stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love him and despair.
