#anim0k

It felt like a nightmare back then. A horrible, inconceivable and most terrifying nightmare I could ever dream of. If I say otherwise, I’m pretty sure it’d be a very deep understatement to myself. No, I was most definitely awake when it happened. With all the adrenaline in my life, how could I ever sleep and dreamed when we failed a most dear and valuable friend for risk their lives for our own and broke our hearts. My heart-no, rather more importantly....Talaani’s heart.

I couldn't bear that sight...the sight of blood and his body on the ground and the strong woman I called ‘sister’ during our adventures together, was crying, wailing, sobbing. Never before she would ever claim to break tears over any other man, and yet the very first in her life, of stealing hearts, throwing lines back and forth like a mischievous fox and went about with flirtatious flair amongst many men in her days, here she was with the look of a woman on the brink of breaking and desperate to speak words that have not been said to the Knight of Ishgard only failing with in her panic. 

To admit frankly I did too share such feelings but it only changed when the look I saw on her face, no longer seeing determination, with a hint of cocky elegance to it. That deep blue emotion they expressed between the two in their last moments together did not compare any to how I could ever probably feel in my whole life. I know not of love or affection like the way Talaani and Haurchefaunt probably have felt, however witnessing two of my friends, one so ever close to me since my arrival into Eorzea, were descending rapidly from themselves; one to great despair and heartbreak, while the other to a fate of a true hero...but one of tradgey no less. 

A fate I just couldn’t accept, even by Hydalen’s-no, any higher being in this world, could I accept this written fate before us. This outcome I just couldn't leave be. 

So I tried. No matter, what I kept trying, insisting to pour every bit of aether I had to heal the gaping wound that never closed; to cease the ever flowing life that was slowly slipping away. I barely could hear Reinhart panicking behind me, the sobs and desperate cries Talaani just couldn't hold back, the insistence of Shiro telling me stop before I went too far. Really...all of it just went quiet the moment I could hear the last few breathes being slowed and the pale blues closing as the curtain on his life came down.

No.

That's not what I want. I had the knowledge and power of Nymians past, their wisdom and teaching; their very souls and memories and yet every onze of healing aether invoked did nothing to hold back the falling curtain. This can’t be it. I won’t let it be the end for this man, not when I know I can heal such wounds! 

I kept trying….and trying...and trying…

By then everything around was quiet...in fact rather foggy. No. not like that...more like when one looked to the sun straight on, and the light of the heavens shined out everything around you till you only saw white. Yes perhaps more like that. I don’t remember much after that...tired perhaps...like I am now…

This feeling I have now, as if i ran yalms across the Coerthan snow in laps without breathing. My chest felt heavy as it did burn out my lungs, as if something else pulled all the air out of me. Of course the more I try to relax, it felt better enough to tolerate, more sore than anything really. It was a good thing i=I didn't feel like moving much as I lay there...at least I thought I was lying there….wherever ‘there’ was. 

To me it was a white abyss and I was too sore to try and look around and thus ended up paying no mind to anything else but my thoughts. Thoughts of weather Talaani was no longer crying, Reinhart eventually steeling his nerves and jumping into action and helping the others, or perhaps Shiro readying to scold the three of us and trying to regain a sense of order among their little group of friends. Ah that goes without saying about the others back at their little house in Gridania...What of Rizsa and her husband Radial? Their partners Nebikus and Deiridth would eventually visit us soon surely? Spanner would eventually be complaining about something to us...perhaps for forgetting to water the plants back home…

Ah...the more she thought about it the more she felt tired. Perhaps I can think on this more after another nap...

I could already feel eyelids grow heavy till my lashes meet in the middle. I ready myself to drift off once more but something pulls me. Nothing physically really but there is something I felt. I wasn't sure what it was but I felt a calling of sorts. A presence made somewhere but not known to me. I don’t find out what it was that beckoned me, for now I was too tired and simply drifted away once more in silence before hearing hushed sounds in my ears.