#angryfluff

I really shouldn't have.

I ended up going back on dA and looking at a few people's pages. All people I once talked to every day. People I called best friends. People I've loved. 

I regret every single moment. I wish I didn't have all this pent up rage at my past. I hate having people who hate me. I hate having people in my memories that I will never get to talk to. At the same time there are a few people whom I wouldn't want to talk to. Even now there are some people who still kind of are around but they wont ever talk to me. 

What I hate the most is that if I wanted to I could never just talk to them. They would only remember the me from the past. They wouldn't know what I've gone through. How much I've changed. 

To Payton,

You were a handfull. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on. I tried. I did. I was there for you in some of your darkest hours and I hope you know that. When I was there I was sincere. I give you points for trying to talk to me again but...you kinda never messaged me after the first conversation that you added me. That's why I deleted you. You wanted it and I gave you a chance.

To Tazzy,

I don't know what happened. It was confusing. I'm sorry I caused a whole lot of the pain that I did cause. We just didn't work together as friends. It happens I have found that no matter how hard we try sometimes bonds don't work.

To Mary, 

I'm sorry. You follow me on Tumblr and I don't know why. You still stick somewhat around and I'm proud of you.(?) I know that most people don't like me probably but you still follow me what gives why not join the bandwagon. You've been through so much haven't you. I wish we talked still I miss my friend :c

To Arianna,

I don't know what happened either. You never told me why it had to end. All I want you to know is that back then you were my best friend and you were someone I adored completely. I loved you furiously. You were my everything. The reason I broke so hard over it was because of that. You disappeared for 2 months without a word and then I found out you don't want to be with me anymore. I kinda would be heartbroken over that ya think? I don't blame you I was too much back then. 

To Heather, 

I really don't know. I'm sorry for ever dating you I'm such a terrible person. Good job though for dating me for that long you still hold the record. It was a good first relationship thanks.

To Foxeth,

jeez I' I don't even 

You were a lot to handle too but you were a good friend. I remember talking and texting to you on all the nights that you felt terrible and when you were depressed. I remember having tons of fun with you. You never did anything wrong. It just didn't work

this is less than I would say to all of you but

I just wish you all knew how much I've changed and that I don't want you to regret me even if I caused you pain. I guess you learned to never be friends with someone like me or date me for that matter