#angast

“Good morning, handsome,” you said, setting a plate and cup of coffee down at Tim’s kitchen table. He slowed his soft padded footsteps, narrowing his eyes. “What?”

“You made me breakfast on a Friday? Is this the start of the apocalypse? Am I about to be the victim in a lifetime movie?” You scoffed, Tim crossing his arms and cocking his head.

“Can’t a girl make her guy homemade sausage and egg burritos with bacon and hashbrowns and toast?” you asked, Tim mid way to an eye roll. “Maybe I was being nice?”

“You’re buttering me up because you have your ride along today,” he said, taking a seat. He took a bite out of his burrito, pausing mid-chew. “Did you put avocado in this?”

“Yes and hot sauce,” you said, grinning to yourself as he muttered under his breath. “What was that?”

“I said you’re bribing me with my favorite breakfast.” You shrugged, sliding over next to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. 

“Is it working?” You kissed his cheek, Tim emitting a low growl. You brushed your lips over his earlobe, his body tensing ever so slightly. “I’ll let you try that thing you wanted to try tonight…”

“Are you trying to bribe me with sex?”

“Yes,” you said, kissing under his jaw, Tim biting back a cough. “And it’s not a bribe if it’s something we were going to do anyway.”

He turned his head, looking you up and down. “I thought you said no way were we doing that.”

“I said no way on my damn period and mother nature has exited the building for the next few weeks so I mean, if you don’t want to-”

“No, no, I want to.” You ruffled his hair, Tim rolling his eyes. “Tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow?” you said, taking a seat with your own cup of coffee. 

“Yeah, cause tonight, I’m going to torture the hell out of you for the pain and suffering you’ve cause me this week. You can have it tomorrow,” he said, smirking back at you.

“It’s so cute when you think you’re in charge.” You hummed behind your coffee, Tim going back to his breakfast. You paused a moment, the playfulness gone from the room. “Will you be distracted today if I do this ride along? Because I know you’re worried about me but I’m not putting you in danger and real talk, I need an honest answer from you.”

He finished his bite, swallowing it down. “Boyfriend me? No, I don’t want you to go. Cop me? Ride alongs are pretty safe and generally only easy calls are taken. My friends will be extra cautious with you and I would trust you in their hands.”

“I appreciate that but you didn’t answer my question, honey.” He bit his bottom lip, letting out a sigh.

“I see the worst parts of this city every day. Sometimes, I get nervous when you meet with new producers or book people or whatever alone. I wish you took someone with you for safety. Honestly, I’ll be less distracted today knowing you have basically two bodyguards for the day.”

“That is an alarming change of view from the guy that was freaking out I was alone in a police station three days ago. What changed?”

“I had my therapy appointment,” he said shyly.

“If you ever leave me, it better be fore that therapist of yours,” you said with a gentle smile. He returned it, leaning forward in his seat.

“I mean, he’s way hotter than you so…” you lightly smacked his arm, Tim chuckling.

“Eat your damn breakfast, Bradford. We got work to get to.”

One Hour Later

“Hey,” said Tim, coming over to you in the garage. He pulled you away from the shop, grabbing your hand. “You get scared at all, just tell them and they’ll bring you back. Or call me, okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said, Tim setting down the bag in his hand. 

“Don’t get mad at me for this.” He opened the duffel, holding up an item that looked suspiciously like a bullet proof vest. You glanced at him, Tim nodding. “Yes, you’re going to be balls hot and it’s going to be heavy and the odds of you needing it are nill and-”

“Would you help me put it on?” you asked, shrugging out of your jacket. He did that soft goofy little smile he did sometimes when he truly relaxed. God, what you wouldn’t give to take that weight he carried off of him for good. But you’d take the moments when you could.

He had you hold out your arms and slipped it over your head, the weight of it settling on your shoulders. 

“You wear this under your uniform every day? No wonder you’re so damn sweaty when you get home.”

“It’s saved my hide more than once.” He tightened the velcro straps on the sides, your hand reaching out and grazing his lower left hip. He put his hand on your own hip, matching where he’d been shot years ago on your body. 

“Why doesn’t it go all the way down your torso? It would have protected you if it had.” 

“If you make this,” he said, tugging on your vest, jerking you forward, “Too long it protects you but limits mobility. I can’t bend as easily, duck out of the way. The heavier it is, the slower I run. There’s pros and cons and different style vests for different situations. This one is for day to day use. If you were going on a SWAT raid for example, you’d have something heavier duty.”

“Save the intense calls for the SWAT guys today then, roger that.” He sighed, kissing your forehead.

“Be safe, stupid.”

“You too, moron.” He hugged you tight, pecking a quick kiss on your lips before he pulled back. “Will I see you at all today?”

“We’ll try to tag up at lunch. Promise.”

Six Hours Later

You forced a smile when you met up with Tim and a few other patrols during their lunch break. They were spread out at a few different tables, Tim finding a quiet place off to the side for the two of you. 

“You alright?” he asked when you picked at your food, Tim putting a hand to your forehead. “I’ve never know you to turn down street tacos.”

“I’m fine,” you said, watching his friends talk vibrantly across the way. 

“Did…you want to sit with them? We can, I just thought we could eat together-”

“I’m so bored,” you groaned quietly, Tim blinking rapidly. “All we’ve done is drive around in circles for hours. They did a wellness check to see if an old guy was dead. Apparently he was just on vacation. Oh, and I got to pee in a gas station bathroom. I’m getting some real good feel for police work here.”

“Well, that’s what most of the job is,” he said after a beat, brushing his arm against yours. “Ride alongs…it’s our policy to take the lightest of calls. They can’t put you in a dangerous situation.”

“I know but I’d take a fender bender. I feel like I’m on a road trip to hell and I feel bad cause your friends are bored out of their mind too. I should just go home. It’d make everyone happy,” you said, poking your taco with a frown. Tim scooted closer, leaning in.

“Did Nolan and Juarez tell you that you should leave?” he asked, your head immediately shaking.

“No. I like them. Cracking jokes with them is the only reason we haven’t all gone insane.” You turned your head, his face so close to yours. “You don’t want me out here. I’ll go make up an excuse and get an uber home, okay?”

Tim POV

“Don’t call an uber, just…stay here a second.” I got up and walked over to the other tables, my feet moving without my say so. Did I want her to go home? Yes! A million times yes. But she was sad and disappointed and after how much of a dick I’d been this week, she deserved better. This wasn’t just about her screenplay. She wanted to know what I did all day, why some nights I just came home and didn’t want to talk.

The sting of pain I’d felt when Lucy told me how disappointed Y/N was when she realized I didn’t have her picture on my desk was right there at the surface too.

If I didn’t start letting her in more, this was going nowhere and I wanted to go a lot of places with her. A whole fuckton. God, was I really about to do this?

“Why do you look like you’re about to vomit?” asked Lucy, my eyes closing.

“Because…Y/N’s not having a good time and I need to show her what we do all day. It’s important and the little crap ain’t cutting it. Now how do we do it safely?”

Angela leaned back in her chair, tsking at me. 

“Do you have an idea or are you just insulting me?”

“I will solve your problem if you bring Y/N on a double date with me and Wesley tonight,” she smirked. I clenched my jaw but that woman had never been intimated a day in her life. “One little date and all your problems go away…”

“Fine,” I grit out. Angela’s eyes lit up in a way that would make Hannibal Lector proud. “What’s this-”

“A nice place. You do own a suit, Bradford?” she teased. I breathed deeply. “Lucy, you free tonight? You should come too.”

“I am totally down for that,” she said, my jaw dropping. 

“Suit. Tie. Flowers. Upscale restaurant. Say yes before I invite more people to this dinner,” said Angela.

“Fine, satan,” I grumbled, Angela grinning happily. I turned to the rest of them, flexing my shoulders. “For the record, I’ve taken Y/N out to plenty of nice places. Just cause you bozos weren’t there to see it-”

“Now everyone’s invited,” said Angela. I twitched my eye at her, that evil look back. “Say thank you Angela or I’ll invite Smitty.”

“Thank you, Angela,” I muttered. 

“Close enough,” she said, standing up, glancing over at Y/N. “Tomorrow’s Saturday right? Take her to Metro’s training center. It’ll be closed. Run her through combat with some paintball guns, let her get immersed in some different drills. She gets the feel and her heart rate up without the danger. And for the rest of it, ask Grey if she can watch your bodycam footage from today. You never know, he might let her.”

I stared at her, mouthing opening slightly, words caught in my throat.

Why the fuck didn’t I think of that?

“Because you’re a stupid boy and yes, you said that out loud,” said Angela. I flicked her ear, Angela smacking me back. 

“All of you are helping me run drills tomorrow,” I said, earning a few eye rolls. “Penn, Juarez, the practice will be good for you and the rest of you? Revenge for that stunt you pulled in the station the other day hiding Y/N.”

“To be fair, I was as out of the loop as you were,” said Nolan. I shot him a look, John picking up his coffee and slurping it slowly. 

“We could make it interesting,” said Lucy with a mischievous look. God, she spent too much time with Angela. “Girls versus boys tomorrow. Losers buy lunch for the winners for a month.”

“How’s that fair to Y/N, she doesn’t eat lunch with us,” I said. Lucy narrowed her eyes and I scoffed. “What the hell is that look for?”

“Probably the fact your girlfriend is sitting over there watching us probably thinking my boyfriend’s embarrassed of me,” said Harper with a shrug. My hands went to my hips, more than a few of them making faces. 

“Knock it off,” I snapped. 

“They do have a point,” said Nolan.

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“You keep her secret for half a year, you still haven’t put up a picture of her at your desk, I’m sure you were a dickhead about the ride along which she clearly regrets going on and you banish her to the other side of the courtyard. If I were her I’d think you’re either cheating on me or embarrassed.” Angela picked up her drink, sipping through the straw, the words caught in my throat. “Wild idea, maybe you can invite the girl that works from home to lunch with us sometimes?”

Jesus, was I that much of a moron? 

“...Does she look upset?” I mumbled.

“More like the new kid on the first day of school,” said Lucy, standing up with her basket of fries. She brushed past me and over to Y/N, unease crawling up my spine as Y/N perked up when Lucy sat down at the table with her.

“Get it together Bradford or that girl will walk.”

I swallowed as I headed back to the table, pausing as Angela watched me carefully. After a beat I sat across from Y/N, Lucy and her engaged in some deep conversation already about some reality TV show they both watched. I flipped open the last bite of my taco, flipping it closed again and back open. A foot nudged me under the table, my eyes shooting up to catch Y/N’s, a question in them.

You okay?

I smiled and nodded, Y/N lingering for a moment before giving Lucy her full attention again. I picked up the trash and carried it over to a bin, flinching when Angela was suddenly right fucking there.

“If you ever give up police work you’d make a great assassin,” I said, her hand catching my arm and pulling me around to the back of the trucks. I raised an eyebrow, her own shooting up. “What?”

“Timothy, I’m your best friend. I know when something’s wrong. Talk to me, why were you really hiding Y/N? She got a relative that’s a criminal or something?” I stared at her. I could lie. I knew how to lie extremely fucking well. Instead I sighed, looking past her.

“I didn’t want to say anything because honestly, I thought she’d have broken up with me by now. After the way I’ve acted this week, I’m shocked she’s still here. The only thing I’m embarrassed about is how when she realizes the mistake she made, all of you will give me that sad puppy dog look. I’m running out of time to find someone and I thought I’d be married and have a couple kids by this point, not be still dating. Sometimes I think, maybe she and me could…I’m just going to screw it up.” I crossed my arms, Angela stepping closer in my periphery. 

“So you’re scared she’ll hurt you pretty much.” My jaw clenched but I didn’t look at her. “Listen, I get people have hurt you your whole life and this is hard to unlearn at your decrepit age and you’re always going to be you but that girl? Buddy, she wants to be in your life more, not less. Why the fuck do you think we want to get to know her? Now put on your big boy pants, get over your personal pity party, and just tell her you want to get more serious. You can thank me at the wedding.”

“Woah, we are nowhere near…and you left,” I sighed. I found Y/N standing near the table alone when I returned, everyone veering off towards their vehicles. 

“So Lucy said you guys came up with a thing for me to do tomorrow that’d be more fun? And we have dinner plans with everyone later?” I hummed, interlacing my fingers with hers. “Tim, I don’t want to cause any trouble-”

“This is my life and you’re part of it and I want you to see it, even if that means subjecting myself to a long ass dinner where I have to wear a fucking tie,” I said, Y/N’s face softening. “Why you lookin’ all cute like that?”

“‘Cause I like you,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. I hummed, returning it before my radio crackled on my hip. “Go on. Save the world while I go dress shopping.”

“Oh you don’t have to go buy a new…” I closed my mouth when I saw annoyance creep back in her features. “Red.”

“You want to see me in a red dress?” she asked, her eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Interesting.”

“Does that mean…” she shrugged, smiling back at me. 

“Guess you’ll find out when you pick me up tonight,” she said, my radio crackling again. “Sounds like you got a robbery to get to.”

“I’ll text you later,” I said, managing to catch her cheek before I was skirting past for the shop. “Move it boot!”

Reader POV

“Just me!” called Tim as the front door opened. 

“One second!” you shouted back, fixing your hair one last time in front of the bathroom mirror. You darted across the hallway to your bedroom, grabbing your clutch and slipping into a pair of nude heels before you spun around, Tim leaning in your doorway. He had on a black suit, white shirt unbuttoned, no tie. The look worked for him though and you couldn’t help but flush under his heated gaze. 

Out of nowhere the silliest thing happened. The heat turned softer, that look on his face like he was so damn happy. Ugh, why was he so flippin’ adorable?

“You look stunning,” he said quietly, smirking when you stepped in front of him. “And taller.”

“I got a pair of black pumps in my closet you could borrow,” you teased, Tim shrugging.

“I would but I wouldn’t want to show you up,” he shot right back, his grin widening every second. “We went with red I see.”

“We did. How do we like the red?” you asked. He stroked a finger down your arm, just barely grazing the fabric by your waist.

“I should take you out to nice places more often. I will.” You tilted your head. “You deserve reasons to show off how good you make that dress look.”

“You okay, honey? You seem…different.” He shrugged.

“I’m good,” he said, smiling while dancing his fingers down your arm. “For the first time in a long time, I’m really good.”

“Okay…” You said, Tim holding out his arm, letting you slip yours through. “Did you feed the dog before you came over?”

“Yup,” he said, walking you down the hall and stopping at your kitchen counter. 

“If we’re doing that training thing tomorrow, maybe we can install the security system on Sunday?” you said, checking that the fridge door was closed after it’d been popping open lately. Maybe Tim could help you fix it-

“No, I think I’ll return it.” You raised an eyebrow, Tim turning his head towards you, a big smile there. 

“Why would you return it? You just bought it,” you said, TIm tilting his head like you were doing something cute much to your annoyance. “Bradford, why would you send it back?”

“Because like I said earlier, I want you in my life more. I think we’re both ready for it but that stupid break in happened so I was my stupid self and tried to be all mature instead of asking for what I actually wanted.”

You blinked once, Tim tracing your jaw with your thumb. “Move in with me.”

“I thought…” you trailed off, his face falling the longer you stared at him. It was as if you could see a wall shoot up in front of you in real time. “Hey!” you barked. He startled, confused as you walked him back against your kitchen wall, Tim’s brow furrowed. “Don’t shut down on me. I am processing, okay?”

“Seems like a lot of fuckin’ time to process,” he said. You put your hands on his chest, taking a deep breath. “It’s fine that you don’t want to. It’s too soon-”

“What did I just say Bradford? Can you just stand there and look pretty while I figure out how to say this?” 

His mouth snapped shut, gaze drifting downward. You let your hands fall downwards, taking his large ones in yours.

“Tim, I’ve been thinking about moving in together probably longer than you have. For nearly two months.” His head snapped up, a question on the tip of his tongue but he held it back. “I want to and not because some guy broke in my house earlier this week. I am not scared to sleep alone and I didn’t honestly want this big stupid alarm system you bought either but I didn’t want to argue with you when you were clearly as shook up over the break in as I was, maybe more. So before I give you an answer, I need to know why and I need more than you want me around more. Why-”

He pulled you into a harsh kiss, your breath hitching as his hand held the back of your neck with one hand, the other on your cheek.

“Because I love you,” he growled against your open mouth. “This isn’t temporary for me and you’re wrong. Wanting you around more is a perfectly valid reason. I want you around all the time and I’m ready for more. I want you taking over the closet and leaving your empty coffee mugs on the counter and not replacing the toilet paper because you are so shit at that and it drives me nuts and I still want you to move in. Is that good enough for you?”

You stepped closer, pressing your bodies together, your hands grabbing his hips, Tim’s eyes dark. 

“If I move in, Bradford, I ain’t moving back out,” you said, a rasp to your voice that his hands shifting to your waist, squeezing you just enough to make you gasp.

“Good,” he said, a whiff of his cologne filling your nostrils. “We’re on the same page then. So give me a damn answer.”

You stepped back from him, a flash of pain on his face but you only smiled as you went to the box of alarm system equipment on the counter. You picked it up, holding it out to him. “You should send this back…as soon as humanly possible.”

He smirked as he took it. “That can be arranged. You want to move in next weekend?”

“Afraid you’ll be too tired after my team wins your little training thing tomorrow?” you teased. He put the box down, stepping over to you. He caught your chin with his hand, tilting it upwards.

“You’re being a brat on purpose.” You smiled, Tim pretending to pout, pulling your mouth against his. “You play dirty.”

“Because you’re such an esteemed gentleman,” you returned, Tim looking smug. “We’re going to be late if you keep looking at me like that.”

“So?” he hummed, kissing under your jaw, sucking lightly. 

“If you give me a hickey I swear to god-” He nipped at your skin, your jaw dropping. He pulled away slowly, licking his lips. “You…you…you better hope this restaurant is dark as shit.”

“I see why you’re the brat so much. It’s fun,” he grinned, taking your hand, leading you out of the kitchen. “Ready to go, dear?”

“You’re going to regret that when I kick your ass tomorrow,” you said as he opened the front door for you.

“I really can’t wait to see you try, honey.”

A heavy arm draped over your waist when you woke, pulling you back into its owner’s chest. Dean. You’d slept with Dean last night. Best friend you’d known since you were four years old Dean. Dean who played hide and go seek in Bobby’s junkyard with you. Dean who you helped with his fractions. Dean whose shoulder you cried on when you broke up with your first real boyfriend.

Dean who pulled you out of that hell hole a few years back. The Dean that now was ten years older while you’d stayed the same. The Dean you hadn’t seen in a decade and the Dean that had saved the world more times than you could count.

You sat up in bed, the arm tensing before it slid off of you. You turned and put your back to him. 

“Nearly forty years of build up and that’s it?” he asked quietly. “One night was all we got?”

“Dean you pity me. We were drunk last night.”

“I’ve never pitied you. I was angry at myself for letting you drift away, not realizing you’ve been trapped by a demon all this time. You were robbed of ten years. Look at you. You’re barely thirty years old.”

“What, I too young for you?” you said dryly.

“You’re still older than me,” he said softly. You rolled your eyes and rested your hands on your bare thighs. “I do not pity you. I love you. I have been in love with you since I was a twelve year old boy. But you were smart and you graduated high school and college and you hunted but you had a life. I was...at a certain point I was no good for you so I just let you go. I thought you would have been married with kids by now.”

“So did I. Here I thought I’d have had that with you a long time ago.”

“Y/N. I’m not-”

“Good enough? You raised Sam and look at him. You could have had everything you wanted Dean.”

“So I’m too late is what you’re saying,” he said quietly. You tucked your knees into your chest and shook your head. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m broken. The girl you fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore. She died in that hole. She’s never coming back. You’ve spent the past two years teaching me and helping me recover and I know everything I could possibly know and more and I just know what you fell in love with is dead. I thought sleeping with you would make me feel better but all it’s done is make me realize I have to get out of your life. You have to move on.”

“As the person who was the broken one, the one who tried to hide and move on, let me tell you something. It doesn’t work. It’s you and me. It’s always been you and me.”

“Dean-”

“Do you think I wouldn’t have loved to, to be the person you come home to at the end of the day? To raise a family with? To go through ups and downs and all of it with? I couldn’t have a family, not the stereotypical one, not with all the shit I’ve had to do over the years. But Chuck is human, powerless. The archangels are dead. Jack’s in charge of heaven, in charge of it all. Rowena’s got Hell under a pretty good lockdown. We’re the safest we’ve ever been in our entire lives.”

“Dean.”

“You’re not walking out. Not after I have fallen in love with you all over again these past two years.” You looked over your shoulder and shook your head. “You’re not broken.”

“I used to be scared of the sound of water. Water. It took a year to not have a panic attack when I took a shower.”

“So? Do you know what I would have given to have you there for me after I’d been through shit like that? Would you ever in a million years call me broken? Think I’m broken? No. All you’ve ever thought is I’m strong and brave and I’m your best friend. Even on the really bad days, I know that thought never crossed your mind so give me the decency of not assuming that I would ever think that about you.”

“Dean, I’m broken.”

“Well so the fuck am I!” You felt wetness in the corner of your eyes, Dean scooting closer in bed, resting a hand on your bare back. “Just because we have scars doesn’t mean we have to live every minute of every day in those bad memories. Moments maybe but not our whole lives.”

“How can you say that? Our whole lives-”

“Because that’s what you said. That’s what you told me. So many times growing up you told me and if I have to be the fucking optimist in this relationship right now then fine. But you’re not giving up on this, our first real chance at this, because you’re scared I’ll think you’re broken. Broken means you can’t fix what happened. We’re not broken. We’re fucked up but we are not broken.”

You turned around and faced him, Dean taking a deep breath. You stared at his chest, slowly looking up to find his green eyes watching you. You sat up on your knees and crawled closer, wrapping your arms around his body, holding him tight.

“Can we give us a chance? A real chance?” he asked, lips pressed against your temple. 

“Okay. One chance. Just one Dean. I don’t think I can take anything more than that.”

Three Years Later

“Dean! Is she hungry?” you called from the front porch. Dean stood up from where he washed one of Baby’s wheels and looked down at the baby strapped to his chest, currently fast asleep. 

“We’re good!” he said, the little girl waking up and pouting at her father. “Scratch that! Winchesters are hungry.”

“I got lunch on the table,” you said. You ducked back inside, Dean washing up at the sink a moment later. He unbuckled your daughter from the straps and set her in her cushion on top of the table for now, pulling it closer as you set a bottle on the table. “How’s she doing out there?”

“She loves it, doesn’t she,” he said, kissing the top of her head before he tilted her bottle up and she started to suckle. “I’m gonna leave her inside after we eat though. It’s getting a little sunny for her.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, taking a bite of your sandwich. He smiled and cocked his head at you, looking you up and down. “We weren’t broken. We couldn’t have done all this if we were.”

“How’s my one chance still going?” he asked. You smiled and nodded. “Do you want to have a prom night?”

“Uh, what?” you laughed.

“Prom night. I never went to prom. I dropped out before that happened. Never went to a school dance. Figured maybe I could throw up some lights on the patio, steal some of Sam’s flowers from that giant ass bush next door...I can get a tux.”

“Only if we can invite our friends to it and throw a rager in the backyard,” you said.

“Deal Winchester,” he said, the baby knocking the bottle away when it was empty. “Geez. Chug that fast enough?”

He picked her up and threw a towel over his shoulder, rubbing her back while she let out a burp.

“What?” he said when you just kept smiling at him.

“Morning after sex the first time, especially old friends, that can be really awkward.”

“But…”

“But that was the first day in a very long time I let myself think that you didn’t pity me. You loved me was all, that’s why you helped me, saved me. I’ll owe you forever for that.”

“Repay me with hugs and kisses?” he said with a soft smile. 

“I can do that,” you said, leaning over to pick up the bottle. You stood up and kissed his cheek, pulling her off of him and onto you. “Come on, kiddo. Let daddy have his lunch. The sooner he finishes the sooner he can come back inside and give us both all the hugs and kisses we want.”

“I won’t be long ladies,” he said, grabbing his sandwich and kissing each of you. “Twenty minutes at most. Promise.”