#andromedablacc

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James grinned at Sirius, looking down on him though there was barely an inch between them in height. Sirius was frowning at the two small marks on the doorframe of James’s bedroom door, James’s name in Euphemia’s handwriting a small space above his own. For the entirety of their friendship, they’d been exactly the same height, and now at fourteen despite Sirius’s growth spurt over the beginning of summer, here was evidence that James was taller than him.

The expression of deep rooted annoyance on Sirius’s face made James laugh, and he pulled him to him with both hands on his shoulders. Sirius’s arms wrapped around his waist instantly, still pouting into James’s shoulder, and James held him close in mock comfort, the lie evident in the fact that James was still laughing. He only laughed harder when, on his very tiptoes, he managed to rest his chin on Sirius’s head, and Sirius let out an undignified whine.

“Oh mate, I’m sure you’ll catch up soon.” Sirius made a small nullified noise at that, only to shove him away a moment later when he added, “But I’ll take over again for sure.”

“It’s so unfair,” he said, looking like he was just one more comment away from stamping his foot like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

“Now now boys,” Euphemia said, ruffling a hand through Sirius’s hair then her son’s. “You have the rest of your lives to fight about this, and we need to get to Diagon Alley.”

With that she left the room to collect the last of their things before they headed off, leaving James and Sirius alone in the room. They stood staring at each other for a moment, James with a smile still clinging to his lips and Sirius with the pout lingering around his mouth.

“Come on,” James said, throwing his arm around Sirius’s shoulder. “Think about how much better the cuddles will be now I’m taller.”

Sirius groaned but leaned into him anyway as they followed Euphemia out of the room.

_________________________________

“Are you fucking joking?!”

Sirius did not so much as laugh as he did cackle at the angered look on James’s face. He was staring at the marks on the doorframe of the seventh year Gryffindor boys dormitory, showing for the first time in four years that Sirius had finally outgrown James. Remus’s mark was far above both of theirs, and Peter’s somewhat below, but those weren’t so important, Remus had always been taller and Peter smaller, what mattered was that once James and Sirius had been the same height, then James was taller, and now their roles had been reversed.

“Bit of an extreme reaction there mate,” Remus said with a roll of his eyes. Peter looked almost excited to see what the other two would do, like they were on the verge of a vicious but hugely entertaining fight.

“It’s not fair!” James exclaimed again, turning beseeching eyes onto Sirius. “It’s not even just a little bit.”

It wasn’t either, Sirius had somehow managed to gain a good four inches on him in just one semester. In truth, James was mostly annoyed by how he hadn’t noticed. Surely since he and Sirius were together now, properly, after a couple of years of to-ing and fro-ing, he would have noticed having to stretch up to kiss him.

Sirius pulled him close, not even having to reach to kiss the top of James’s head, and really how had James not noticed? James cuddled into him automatically, pressing his face to Sirius’s shoulder.

“And really,” Sirius began, not bothering to try and hide the sarcasm in his voice, “think how much better cuddles will be now I’m taller.”

James made a low noise at being mocked for something he’d said years prior, but clung to Sirius tighter, which rather lessened the venom of his next words. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Sirius said and leaned down to kiss him. Which was also true, James guessed.

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Now that they were older and wiser and had proper jobs, their bodies had changed a bit. Playing professional quidditch meant that James’s boyhood muscles had strengthened and hardened into actual athlete muscles, while the lack of quidditch for Sirius meant that he’d softened up a bit, a little fat on his belly and around his arms and thighs. Of course, James still thought he was the most attractive person to have ever walked the Earth and Sirius quite liked it too.

Sirius was there when practise finished to take James for lunch, something indulgent with lots of little sandwiches and not so little cakes and enough tea to drown a goldfish. Clean and with aching muscles, James launched himself into Sirius’s arms, tucking himself under Sirius chin and squeezing him close, soft and warm and smelling faintly of engine oil and leather.

“I love you so much, you give the best cuddles,” James said into his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his neck. He never had grown to be the same height as Sirius in the end, in fact Sirius had grown even taller, but James’s comment when he was fourteen has turned out to be true; it was better to cuddle someone taller than you.

“So you only love me for my cuddles,” Sirius said, all forlorn.

“I love loads of things about you,” James said pressing closer to his husband. “But yes, the cuddles are very important.”

“Sirius,” he calls, first into the kitchen then up the stairs. “Padfoot! Sirius?”

He doesn’t even hear the thud of the cat jumping off the bed like she normally does when he returns home, or makes too much noise in general.

Worry sinks like a stone in his gut as he keeps calling on his way upstairs and no answer is forthcoming. He pauses outside their closed bedroom door, holding his breath to see if he can hear anything at all. Nothing. He pulls out his wand, always the auror, and holds it close as he pushes open the door, faint orange light spilling out into the corridor.

The voice is so quiet he barely hears it. “Sorry, love. ‘M just here.”

He lets out a low sigh of relief and pushes the door open fully, walking in to see Sirius still in bed, completely covered by the duvet, the only things visible a fan of black hair on the pillow and a tiny black paw hanging over the bed.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks as he pulls off his boots and discards his cloak, letting it fall in a deep red puddle on the floor. No answer comes bar the slight shifting of the bodies under the covered and the appearance of the top of Sirius face, grey eyes red and raw and immeasurably sad.

James’s heart tightens at the look, at the knowledge that he missed just how bad a day Sirius was having. He should have woken him in the morning he realises, should have taken the day off with him, snuggled in their bed.

Sirius slinks back under the covers as James climbs in, pulling them over his own head to enclose the three of them completely. His husband reaches for him instantly,  he scoots Elvendork out of the way to pull him into his arms. He doesn’t bother asking what’s wrong, knowing the inevitable answer of ‘nothing’ would be both completely correct and immeasurably incorrect. What is wrong with Sirius has little to do with the here and now, and everything to do with his own mind and the crippling lack of sunlight provided by the British winters.

Though certainly not happier, Sirius does seem more at peace in James’s arms, no longer crying but still sniffling. James doesn’t want to leave him alone ever again. They lie like that for a while, neither sleeping nor fully awake, with Elvendork curled up like a furry hot water bottle at James back, until Sirius’s stomach rumbles loudly enough to rouse the cat from her slumber.

“Indian?” James asks, readying himself to go for the take away place down the street. Lily has introduced them both to many muggle things, both great and small, but take away is definitely the best thing the muggles have ever invented. That, and the telly. They even have a phone, just so they can order it.

Sirius nods, and James slips out of bed to get the phone with the promise that he’ll be back in just a minute. Downstairs, he orders Sirius’s favourite with loads of rice and bread, like carbs will somehow cure all of Sirius’s depression. It won’t, and neither will James’s unconditional love, but neither will hurt him either.

******

After, when they had sex on Sirius’s bed, since James’s is still covered in Padfoot’s drool, and again in the shower and they’re both redressed, Sirius is sitting snuggled in James’s lap, watching Peter as he excitedly describes what he and Remus found when they were out giving them space. James is wearing his favourite hoodie, dark red with long ties dangling right in front of Sirius’s mouth, and well, they just look so inviting.

He can’t pinpoint the moment exactly when the ties end up getting soaked in his mouth as he chews on them incessantly, but he can the moment James notices. He glances down at him, all loving hazel eyes, but the expression shifts to irritation as soon as he sees the red ties in Sirius’s mouth.

“What did I say Sirius!”

The ties are pulled from Sirius’s mouth as James moves back from him and strips off the article of clothing, chucking it straight into wash basket.

“I can’t help it James, it just happens.”

James watches him for a moment, takes in what Sirius is sure is a very convincingly pleading expression before sighing and shrugging his shoulders, all the fight in him gone and replaced with exasperated fondness. He slides back in behind him and pulls Sirius to his chest, only covered now in a t-shirt.

“We are getting you a chew toy.”

******

They quickly discover that Hogsmeade has little to offer in terms of chew toys, all the pets toys being aimed at cats and frogs and owls. James does pick up something for his owl, and Sirius cackles when he managed to find rat training toys, but in the end, they wind up in muggle Edinburgh, winding through the steep, crooked streets, hand in hand, their faces flushed with the thrill of their own open affections and the risk of breaking school rules.

They manage to find a dog toy easily enough, shaped like a bone and smelling of artificial bacon, but James gets the feeling that’s not the only kind of chew toy they’re looking for when Sirius flashes him a grin and leads him up a narrow set of steps, so steep it leaves them both breathless and then down several alleyways until he pulls him into what, by the contents, James can only assume is some kind of kink shop. The woman behind the counter is wearing all leather with a matching collar and smiles brightly at them as they enter. The walls are covered in various objects, some of which James knows the purpose of and much more of which he does not.

They stand just inside for a few moments, James staring wide eyed at all the merchandise while Sirius scans the shop for what they’re looking for. James can only assume he’s found it when the other boy tugs him firmly in one direction.

“Sirius,” he hisses in his boyfriend’s ear as they pass a whole row of human sized dog things, beds, bowls, several dog costumes and hundreds of collars. “How do you even know about this place?”

“Gideon told me.” Once, the name had filled James with green jealousy, but they’ve been together over a year now, and James can acknowledge they wouldn’t have gotten together if not for Sirius’s first boyfriend. James had still been pining for Lily when Sirius had first started seeing Gideon, but the thought of them being together had had James crying into his bed every night Sirius wasn’t in it. It was only when Sirius questioned the constant possessiveness James was displaying, destroying Sirius and Gideon’s relationship that James finally realised it had been Sirius he’d always wanted, and they finally got together.

“Si, we were sixteen when you were together.”

“He never brought me here, just told me it existed. But never mind that, look.”

The wall in front of them has a wide variety of chew toys, all clearly meant for a human mouth. Some are hard, like Padfoot’s bone, some are soft, some could’ve easily been mistaken for dildos. James can’t stop the blush that has formed when he sees those ones and gestures instead to a bright red plush one that he thinks Sirius would like. Sirius isn’t going to let him get away with that though.

“What about that one,” he suggests, grinning and pointing to one of the penis shaped ones a similar colour and size to James. The image of Sirius chewing on it fills his head, and he shakes it away violently.

“Definitely not, think it would give me the fear.”

Sirius laughs and gives him a quick kiss. They agree on the one James suggested and the woman at the counter winks when James buys it and immediately Sirius starts chewing on it.

“Enjoying yourself?” James asks when they’re home and Sirius is still chewing on it.

“Very much,” Sirius says around the soft material.

James grins. “As long as there’s no more thread in your teeth when we’re kissing.”

Sirius spits it out and arches one eyebrow, suggestion written all over his face. “There’s none now.”

“But Mr. Potter-”

“Call him James, Hermione, otherwise it gets confusing.”

“Yes Mr. Potter – I mean Sirius. But weren’t you only nine or ten?”

“Absolutely,” James says with a grin, and continues his story.

He did not know the quiet boy with the mischievous glint in his pretty grey eyes would one day be his husband, but looking back, James could say he wanted it, even then.

The night was cold and dark, the stars twinkling high in the sky like crystals thrown wide, stuck there eternally. James looked at them and pulled his heavy woollen cloak closer as he and his parents made their way up to the imposing door to number 12 Grimmauld Place. He had no idea why Euphemia and Fleamont were making him go, why they were even going themselves; he’d heard them complain on more than one occasion that the Blacks were awful blood purists and racists to boot. Yet they’d insisted there would be many children here tonight that would be in James’s year at school, children he should get to know sooner rather than later, and so here they were, despite James’s protests.

The front door swung open just as Fleamont’s knuckles made to knock, the woman behind it wearing a fake smile nearly as obvious as her deep red lipstick. By her side was a small boy, dark and sullen looking, half hiding behind his long black hair and half behind his mother. James smiled at him, his lumos smile Euphemia called it, bright enough to lift a whole room. The boy shot him a dirty look, full of sneering disgust, and James could only hope this was the birthday boy and not the brother he’d may or may not be sharing a dormitory with in the near future.

“Good evening, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter. And this must be little James!” Mrs. Black welcomed them, her tone as false and bright as her smile. James’s parents smiled back, equally fake and James found himself wondering yet again why they’d come here.

Once inside, an old house elf, twisted and gnarled like an ancient tree, look their cloaks and immediately vanished with them, muttering something about foreign blood under his breath. Affronted, James looked to his parents, but they were still exchanging pleasantries with the Blacks and hadn’t noticed the rude little elf. As long as the older brother wasn’t as sullen as the younger – Regulus, he remembered suddenly – nor as subversive as the elf.

As his parents talked and talked, and Regulus hid further and further into his mother’s skirts, James took the time to look around the house. It wasn’t anything like the Manse, not with its enormous stair ways and wide halls, but looking up the staircase, James guessed it might be of a similar size overall, he couldn’t even see where the stairs ended, up and up, round and round. His eyes followed the banister, trying to find the end, and instead, near what James could only assume had to be the very top of the stairs, he found a face looking down at him, nearly identical to the ones in front of him, except for in place of derision, there was an emotion James knew far better; mischief.

The shark’s grin on his sharp, surprisingly pretty, face was unmistakable even from such distance as he lifted what looked like some kind of ball, heavy and wobbly like jelly over the banister. He caught sight of James, pointed towards the ball, and winked. He knew where this was going and flattened himself against the wall by the stairs, hitting his head on some knife edged plaque, displaying what he thought might be a house elf’s head. The boy on the stairs, who could only be Sirius, dropped the ball silently and hid down behind the banister as it fell, almost in slow motion, towards the dark green carpet.

Walburga Black let out a scream of rage like no other James had ever heard as the ball exploded upon impact with the ground, releasing a wave of foul smelling green slime that splattered Mrs. Black, the whole hallway, and many of her guests, drowning out the sound of his laughter. Any humour he might have felt, and he’d felt rather a lot of it, vanished with the sound, and the look of fury that twisted Walburga’s face, dark grey eyes immediately going to exactly where Sirius had been standing. Most of the guests were making horrified noises themselves, trying to wipe slime from their robes and hair and glasses; they all stopped at the sound of Mrs. Black screaming her elder son’s name.

“Walburga,” Mr. Black hissed, “Do not cause a scene.” He went back to making placating noises at his guests, saying how sorry he was, how much of accident it must have been, but all eyes were on Mrs. Black now as she positively flew up the stairs.

James had expected to dislike the Blacks, even to hate them, but he hadn’t expected the fear that gripped him as it did then the closer Walburga got to her elder son. He had never even spoken to the other boy, yet somehow he felt the need to protect him from his mother’s rage, a need he would find would never go away.

“Mum,” he said, almost a whisper, certainly desperate. Euphemia looked at him, covered from head to toe in dark green as she was, and there was irritation in her face, but also understanding. She shook her head.

The party ended not long after that, though Cygnus managed to clean everyone and everything with just a command to his house elf, supremely apologetic and offering everyone, including James a large glass of champagne to wash off the memory. The Potters might even have stayed had Walburga not come down the stairs moments later, looking completely unruffled bar the small stain of blood on her left sleeve.

James thought of Sirius often after that, though it was a long time before he saw him again. He thought of the mischievous grin, the pretty face, the almond shaped eyes now he couldn’t remember the colour of; were they brown, blue? Hazel, likes James? He couldn’t remember much, except that he wanted to see him again.

The McKinnon’s Christmas parties were legendary, or so Fleamont decided when he announced they would be attending the affair one afternoon in the early winter before James turned eleven. He’d been to plenty pureblood parties since the one for Regulus’s birthday and now, and yet he’d never once seen Sirius again, much to his disappointment. He’d heard his name plenty times though, in the whisperings of other children and parents. The party had left the Blacks veritable pariahs, what with the mess they’d made, and the overreaction of Walburga, but the wedding of Bellatrix Black and Rodolpus Lestrange had managed to lessen the effects somewhat, and James was finally getting his chance to see Sirius again. Euphemia and Fleamont both seemed a little perplexed by their son’s reaction to getting to see a boy he had never technically met, yet they said nothing.

The ballroom at the McKinnon’s town house was decorated all in gold and green, matching the dress Mrs. McKinnon wore when she led them into the room. There was so much to look at from the enormous tree with tiny green fairies fluttering about it to the small gaggle of children at the top end of the room, most familiar now from all the parties. Marlene was there looking pretty as ever in a glittery gold dress that matched her hair, but James’s eyes skittered over her and the other children there.

Grey. Sirius’s eyes were grey, James realised when his gaze landed on the other boy. He didn’t even realise he was walking towards him, grin on his face, until he was before the other boy, holding out his hand.

“I’m James Potter.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, amusement clear in his eyes, but took James hand anyway and shook it once. “Sirius Black.”

“I know. I saw you at your brother’s party.”

Sirius grinned at the mention of the party. “That was good wasn’t it. I remember your face.”

“Your dad gave me champagne,” James told him.

Sirius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly but his grin stayed in place. “He does that. Wanna see if we can make the tree fairies start screaming?”

The boy Sirius had been talking to balked at that, his mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish stuck in a too-small bowl. “I-I-Well I don’t think you should-”

“Maybe if we spin them?” James asked, and led the way over to the tree, glancing over his shoulder to check Sirius was following.

They did manage to get the fairies to scream, and to turn all the green baubles red, and to make the tinsel slither around the guests throats like snakes. After the look of rage on Walburga’s face when a tinsel snake wrapped a touch too tight around her neck, the two boys ran as fast as their gangly legs would carry them out the ballroom, down a spiral set of stairs and out into the garden, cold biting at James’s cheeks as soon as he set foot outside. For a moment they stood still and silent in the dark garden until a burst of laughter bubbled from Sirius’s lips.

His laugh was deep and throaty, and James decided then it was the best sound he would ever hear. He couldn’t help they way he joined in until they were both gasping for breath, gripping onto each other’s shoulders.

“Did you see mum’s face?” Sirius asked between bursts of laughter. “She’s gonna be so angry.”

“Not as angry as the fairies!”

“Or indeed the McKinnons.” The sound of his father’s voice didn’t stop James’s laughter, yet suddenly Sirius was standing straight, no humour in his face, only defiance.

“Who’re you?” Sirius snapped, glaring at Fleamont.

“That’s my dad,” James said when he’d collected himself enough.

“Indeed.” Fleamont’s eyes met Sirius’s for a moment, as if Sirius was sizing him up. Fleamont didn’t even look properly angry, just annoyed.

“James, we’re leaving.” He waved off James’s protests and ushered his son out the door, abandoning Sirius in the garden.

Just as they were getting ready to apparate home from the front of the house, Sirius appeared and grabbed James’s sleeve.

“Mum won’t let me go to any more parties now. You’ll be at Hogwarts with me though, I’ll see you there?”

The boy looked worried almost as he examined James’s face. Merlin’s beard, he really was so pretty.

“Of course, Sirius,” James said. “We’re friends.”

From that night, James and Sirius began to write to each other, and though they didn’t see each other again until they met on the Hogwarts Express, they quickly became close friends. They planned pranks and wrote of the Quidditch stars they’d be, of how they’d rule the world.

When it came to their Sorting, there was no doubting they’d be in the same house. Sirius would go first, being a Black, and James would follow him anywhere, same as Sirius would have.

The house shouted, “Slytherin,” nearly as soon as it touched Sirius’s head, and James had no fear when he sat on the stool.

“Want to be in Slytherin, ey?” the hat said in his ear. “All for that boy? Gryffindor would suit you better.”

“I want to be with Sirius.” James thought.

The hat laughed, all unsettling but shouted “Slytherin!” all the same.

Sirius grinned and hugged him tight when he slipped into the seat beside him.

“Told you we’d be together,” James told him. He’d known since they’d first met, of course.

James grins as finishes his story, stopping only briefly to press a kiss to Sirius’s lips. Harry rolls his eyes at their affecting.

“So you should’ve been in Gryffindor then, Mr. Potter?” Hermione asks. Harry has never thought about that before, about how his dad could’ve been in his house. Or maybe if he had been, Harry wouldn’t exist at all.

He passed quickly to Marlene as she headed for the goals, a quick flash of her eyes all he needed to see to know she was going for it. She passed to Bones, who passed straight back as Llewyn neared her. He let out a celebratory crow himself as Marlene scored and the Gryffindor stand started singing her name. Regulus was hovering somewhere above him, waiting for some sign of the snitch, no doubt making that screwed up face he made every time Sirius was loud or vulgar or said anything nice about James, like he’d just sucked on a particularly sour lemon. The idea made James laugh and then he was back in the game, scoring within seconds.

The game went on with Slytherin scoring three times and Gryffindor a further five. Eventually, with Sirius’s voice hoarse from all his screaming, he screeched his approval that their seeker, Smythe, only a second year mind you, to Regulus’s fifth, had caught the snitch, winning them the game and the cup. James did a few celebratory moves before practically throwing himself to the ground and hugging the little girl. She coughed and blushed, which she always did when James so much as looked at her.

“Well done kid!” he shouted in her ear as the rest of the team piled up on top of them.

“You too Captain,” she squeaked.

She opened her mouth to say something more when arms wrapped around him, lifting him straight up into the air. He twisted in Sirius’s arms to face him and hug him back fiercely.

“Put me down, you’ll hurt your arm,” he shouted over the noise of the Gryffindor’s still celebrating. He’d meant to sound stern, Sirius really would hurt himself, instead he sounded rather breathless. He couldn’t say whether it was from the exhilaration of the match or at the way Sirius was holding him.

“I’ll be fine,” Sirius insisted, setting him down anyway only to slide his arms around James’s waist. “Congratulations.”

James opened his mouth to reply only to find it immediately otherwise occupied with Sirius’s as his boyfriend dipped his head slightly to kiss him, slick and happy and easy. James gripped his shoulder with one hand and slid the other to grasp the back of his neck, keeping their mouths together so he could stay in the ever-blissful state of kissing Sirius. Not so long ago, Sirius would have flinched away rather than let James so much as hold his hand in the common room, and here they were kissing for all the school to see. He pushed himself forwards so there was no space between them as Sirius licked his way into his mouth.

“Enough of that now!” Marlene shouted as she pulled them apart to hug her captain herself, laughing all the while. Sirius flicked at her forehead and draped himself over James’s shoulders.

“You two really need to learn when it is not okay to have a full out snogging session,” Bones said, their Keeper Vance’s arm around her shoulders. “Like now.”

“I think its cute,” Smythe said, her blush deepening as Sirius winked at her.

“Potter, Smythe, the rest of you – yes, yes and you Black, you are part of the team – come up here and receive the cup.”

The whole team were guided by a beaming Professor McGonagall back up into the stands where Dumbledore stood with the Quidditch cup in his hands, smiling nearly as broadly as Minnie herself.

“Congratulations to our young Captain Potter and indeed his whole team,” he said as they arranged themselves into two rows. James stood in the centre of the first now, Smythe on his left and Marlene on his right with Bones on her other side. All the others were on the row behind them, he knew without looking it was Sirius’s hands on him from behind, resting on his shoulders, even though the beaters were supposed to act as brackets at either end. He wondered for a moment where Vance had decided to stand, given that his rightful spot had been stolen before Sirius’s fine boned thumbs, which really should not have held a beater so well as they did, rubbed against his neck, giving James a full body shiver and making him forget about everything else. Merlin’s beard, sometimes Sirius could melt him completely whilst barely even trying.

The smile slid off James’s face until all that was left was hurt.

Sirius grabbed the bottle from him and took a sip. “Looks like we need to keep working on this truth potion.” He shook what was left in the bottle and winked at James. “It could use some work.”

“It’s working fine you arse.” James scooted off the bed and grabbed his glasses, then stood to try and find his shoes. He’d kicked them off earlier, not paying attention to where they landed.

“Wait, where are you going?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“Back to the dorm.”

“Why?”

“Because you think the idea of me being in love with you is laughable and I just-” he found one of his shoes “-I can’t be around you right now.”

Sirius blinked, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey okay so the potion’s fucking up, it’s fine, we can fix it. Don’t-” he stood up when James found his other shoe and started to put them on “-don’t leave.”

“The potion’s working fine.” James whirled around. “But you want proof? You do? Alright, what’s one thing you never plan on telling me?”

“I slept with Remus over the summer,” he answered, then froze, the blood draining from his face.

James stared at him. “You-” He huffed out a laugh that could never be mistaken for being happy. “Wow.” He pressed his fingers to his eyes under his glasses to stop himself from crying. “Wow.” This was supposed to be the best night of his life to date, and instead it turned into one massive fuckup.

He cleared his throat, lowered his hands and walked out without glancing at Sirius.

Sirius stumbled back to the bed and dropped down. “Shit,” he said, shaking. “Shit.”

~~~

Remus was still awake when James got back to the dorm. “Where’s Peter?” he asked.

“Doing homework with Lily,” Remus answered cautiously. “Why? Where’s Sirius?” he added when he noticed James was alone. “I thought you were staying at the Three Broomsticks tonight.”

“No. Why don’t you go and keep him company?” he sneered. “I’m sure you’ll find some way to occupy yourselves.”

Remus blinked and slowly closed his book. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh you know,” James said in a lofty tone, not showing any of the vitriol from a moment ago. “You, Sirius, privacy, a bed, a lot of free time, your dicks. Any of this ringing a bell, my dear Moony?”

Remus was staring at him, a little pale, but evenly. “He said he wasn’t going to tell you.”

“He didn’t volunteer the information, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“So you were fucking around with a truth potion, and you’re upset that he told you the truth about something,” Remus summarised.

“I’m mad that he never told me. He was never going to tell me. You two buggered over the summer, when me and Sirius were seeing each other every merlin cursed day, and he wasn’t going to say anything.”

“That might be part of why you’re mad,” Remus allowed. “And I don’t think you’re actually mad at me, so maybe fuck off and yell at him for a bit.”

James glared at him, but Remus pointedly opened his book back up and ignored him. Banging around uselessly and tugging on his hair for a minute, he stalked out of the dormitory and started making his way back to the Three Broomsticks.

He kind of expected/hoped that he would run into Sirius on his way, that maybe Sirius had followed after him and wanted to talk it out, but he didn’t come across anyone. He entered the Three Broomsticks and made his way up the stairs, coming to a stop outside the door to the room they’d rented. He shifted his weight uneasily, unsure if he could walk in or if he should knock. Maybe knock as a warning and then walk in without waiting?

He was still mulling it over when the door opened suddenly and he jumped back in surprise. Sirius looked equally surprised to see him there. James almost asked what he was doing, but it was pretty obvious: he was going to go find James. Most of his anger hid away and left him feeling embarrassed.

“You came back,” he said hesitantly, as if James would decided to leave at his words.

James shrugged awkwardly, and walked in when Sirius held the door a bit wider in invitation. The click of the door shutting was loud in the silence hanging over them.

“I’m not going to apologise,” Sirius said.

“Yeah.” James slumped onto the bed. He shook his head. “It’s stupid for me to get mad.” He still was, mind, but now that he was thinking about it for three seconds, he knew it was stupid. “It’s not like we’re together or you’ve ever shown me any interest so.” He shrugged again.

Sirius leaned back against the door, his hand resting on the doorknob though he clearly wasn’t planning on leaving. “You’ve never shown any interest in me either, you know.”

“I doubt that,” James said, resting his head in his hands. “Do I get to hear the story of how it happened or is that story for people who didn’t tell you they love you and then storm out?” He was surprised when Sirius actually started talking.

“It was right before the full moon and he was feeling restless. Probably the only reason he agreed.”

“Not only did you shag, you asked him,” James muttered. “This keeps getting better and better.”

“Shut it,” Sirius said, but there was no bite to it, he just sounded tired. “I was feeling lonely--”

“I was right there!” James interrupted.

“Yeah ‘right there’ talking my ear off about Evans and her hair and her breasts and her eyes and how she was going to be Head Girl so you two would have so much time together! You wouldn’t shut your damn mouth about her, and I didn’t know you were fucking lying about it all yet. So yeah I was feeling lonely and me and Remus were talking, and I asked him if he would fuck me because at least then I would know one of my mates gave a shit about me.”

“Great,” James said hollowly. “Anything else I buggered up beyond repair you want to tell me about while we’re here?”

“You didn’t bugger up beyond repair,” Sirius said, moving to stand in front of him.

James snorted and looked up at him. “You’re a shite liar, I don’t know how I didn’t notice before.”

“And you’re a twat who doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.” He put his hands on either side of James’s face and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I love you too, you idiot.”

“No- no you don’t.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you want me to drink the rest of that?” he asked, pointing at the mostly-empty bottle of firewhiskey/truth potion. “Cause I will.” He didn’t wait for James to respond, just walked over and drank. “Alright,” he walked back over and knelt in front of James, “ask me.”

“Sirius, this is--”

“Ask me,” he ordered.

James sighed. “Fine. Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

James narrowed his eyes at him even as the rest of him started to rise with hope. “Are you… in love with me?”

“Yes.”

James blinked at him. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’. Can we-” he grabbed one of James’s hands in both of his “-can we stop being stupid and try this?”

James was nodding before Sirius finished asking the question. Sirius beamed at him, which made him automatically smile back. “So, er, can our first act as boyfriends be to go the fuck to sleep?” James asked, giving a sidelong glance to the bed. “I’m knackered.”

“As long as you promise to still be here in the morning.”

James rolled his eyes. “Of course I’ll still be here, you know I hate getting up early.”