#andrayna

Rayna sat in the middle of her bed. Legs crossed under her as she stared at the paper in front of her. It was the results from the paternity test. Results she really couldn’t wrap her head around. She had been over them a million times so far. Heard the words come out of the Doctors mouth. She had almost crumbled in to tears then. All and all it had been one of the worst fucking days of her life. And that was saying something seeing as she had just gotten in a life threatening accident. But now was a time to figure out what the hell was going to happen now. She needed to know what Andrew wanted… she really wasn’t all that sure what she wanted at the moment. The plan had been to keep the baby… Then she and Garrett would do the parent thing on a strictly platonic level. In theory it had seemed do able. But Garrett wasn’t the father… Andrew was and it wasn’t fair to him to just assume that he was cool with being a daddy at seventeen.  Hell she still wasn’t sold on being a mommy.

Andrew was a coward when he left and he knew that. He was still being the same coward that told Ray he chose Roslyn because he was afraid of his feelings. But this time it was different, this time he left as a coward with the ambition of coming back something better than that. He needed time for himself, he needed to put his thought together and realize what he was about to do with his life. It sounded all pretty pathetic because he was only 18 and at the age of 18 you don't really decide what you are going to do with your life. But that's because he wasn't exactly deciding on what to do with his life, he was just deciding if he was going to let love get him for the first time or not. But who was he kidding, anyway? Love had pretty much already got him or he wouldn't have done half of the things he said. And as ironic as it could be, if he had never actually fell in love with Ray, he would have never hurt her like he did.

But after a week away from everything, travelling countless hours in his motorbike sometimes sleeping outside because he couldn't find any motel to spend the night. It was exactly what he needed to get his mind back in place, or out of place, since the place it was before wasn't the same anymore. He had been hearing the same song over and over again, because it made him think of them. It made him think of their worst moments, not the best, the worst, the times she had cried, the times he had wished she could just have the strength to tell him to go away. The sad times were mostly what he thought about, because the good times seemed all fake under that idea of fuck-buddies or whatever they were while he was dating Ros. It was the bad times that were real, it was the bad times that made him realize his feelings, because when it was good, it was good. Why would he want to change anything?

Andrew was pacing left and right outside the hospital because he was absolutely freaking out. Rayna had woke up early that day and that was a huge relief. He wasn't there when she woke up, he had left the room to drink and coffee and get some air. He knew she had woke up when he saw a doctor rushing to her room. He followed the man immediately and he tried to contain beaming up when he saw Ray there, her eyes finally opened. But then the doctor said something that caught them all by surprise. The baby was 6 weeks old and apparently the time Ray and Garrett had been idiots and forgot to use the condom had been around two mouths ago. Making the maths they reach the conclusion that the baby could be either his or Garrett because 6 weeks ago Ray was dating Garrett and cheating on him with Andrew. And that was the reason why Andrew was once again outside, he couldn't even talk to Ray after hearing the news, he had just freaked out. He couldn't be the father. There was a reason he was always so careful, he didn't want to be one more statistic, he didn't want to be a stupid teenager that got other girl pregnant. But walking in circles in front of the hospital just wasn't doing anything and he needed desperately to talk to Ray. There was so much to be said. He went back inside and easily made the way to her room. She was alone which was a huge relief. "Hey..." He greeted with a low voice. It was hard to know what to say when he was actually still dating her sister and had made her believe he never really cared about her.

Rayna had been awake off and on for the last couple of days. She wasn’t trapped in the darkness anymore which was a relief. But she was still in the hospital. Still in pain and still worried sick about her baby. Only in the last few days had she started thinking like that. Before it was this little thing that was living in her; but now it had kind of been the things that kept her together. The Doctors were still overly cautious and it made her nervous. Today they were checking her over for the millionth time when they gave her news that almost killed her right there and then. Her heart rate rose. Six weeks that was impossible, she had only been careless with Garrett and that was two months ago. If it was six weeks that meant; Ray’s eyes flashed to Andrew who was also present in the room. She felt sick, not really because of the fact that he was a potential father. More at the fact that he was her sister’s boyfriend and he had pretty much told her she meant nothing to him. Great if being knocked up wasn’t bad enough. She had to deal with this. She was alone in her room for some time. Her fingers tapped at her stomach. The sound of the door woke her from her thoughts. “Hey.” She greeted weakly as she slightly struggled to straighten herself on the bed. She was getting stronger but shit still hurt all the time. “I thought you were gone for good” she spoke honestly, chewing on her lips as she looked up at him.

Andrew entered the room quietly, watching as she tried to get in a better position. She didn't seem all too comfortable and he imagined she would still be in pain. He shook his head quickly at her words, she really had no idea. Andrew had hoped some of the things he said after her surgery had stayed in her brain, but he should haven't expected it, after all he knew most of times people in coma weren't aware of anything around them. "I've been in the hospital since the accident." he told her as he stopped by her bed, his arms crossing over his chest because he didn't know what to do with it. "I barely left all these days." Andrew confessed, looking down at the floor because right now it was complicated to look at her.

Rayna settled in to the bed folding her hands over her stomach as he spoke. She had vague recollection of people talking to her while she was out but non of it had really stuck. "Why would you do that..." she asked. She really didn't get it.. well part of her did because she was determined that she hadn't made what was between them up. And that it had actually been there... even if he refused to acknowledge it. But the other half was still hurt and angry... and not rather confused because he could be the father of her baby. "I mean... you didn't have to or anything... Roslyn probably wasn't all that happy about it..." she added with a small shrug

Andrew shrugged and brought his hand to scratch his fronthead slowly, it was so much harder to say everything now. The night of the accident he was so tired that he was close to being insane and all the emotions were impossible to control and he had spent most of the night crying, it just came out. Now that he was calm and pretty much normal apart from being freaking out because he could be the father, it just seemed so hard to tell her. "I know I didn't have to do anything. But I felt guilty... and I was afraid of losing you. I mean, I always knew you'd survive, but I was afraid anyway." He sighed and closed his eyes for a second. "Roslyn wasn't, but I made it pretty clear to her that I didn't care about what she thought about this." He smirked to himself, because Ros had been indeed pissed and she got even more pissed when he just stayed with Ray instead of doing what Ros wanted.

Rayna smiled a bit as he spoke. okay she shouldn't at all be happy that he was afraid of losing her... nope... but she was. But guilty... why did he feel guilty it wasn't like he was the one that hit her. Or was driving or anything. "I bet she was.." she said with a small chuckle. Okay so it probably wasn't a time to laugh. But Roslyn being pissed always made her slightly giddy. it was unhealthy really. "You shouldn't feel guilty... this wasn't your fault or anything. Rayna reached up so she could lightly touch his arms that were crossed over his chest. "I should have been more careful since i was driving at night in the rain," she added quietly.

Andrew bit down on his lip and sighed. "But it was my fault. I mean, somehow it was. Because if you're being honest to me you'll tell me that one of the main reasons you wanted to get away of Lima is because I'm dating Ros." He looked at her and his hand covered hers that was over his arms. "I never meant it, Ray. It's so complicated to explain... but I never wanted to pick Ros over you. I never gave a shit about her... while I actually really care for you." He sighed, it was all just coming out again, like it couldn't be controlled. He took a step closer and uncrossed his arms, letting her hand fall back to the bed and his hands to cover it there. "The only reason I picked Ros was because I was afraid of what I was feeling for you, Ray..." He confessed.

Rayna listened carefully as he spoke taking in his word. yeah it was the truth... he had been one of the reasons she needed to get away for a while. But it wasn't just him it was everything... Garrett... The baby... she had just needed time away from it all. She opened her mouth to speak and couldn't find words as he continued. She was in shock; honest to god shock. "What..." Her heart pounded in her chest and she legs would have been weak if she was actually standing on them. He had feelings for her... that was believable but he was telling her... She almost wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't still in the coma and all of this had been a dream. "Really..." was all she could manage to get out. She just stared at him the heart monitor betrayed the slight flutter of her heart.

Andrew stared back at her for a while, not really knowing what to say again. He was back to that point that he didn't know how to say exactly how he felt. But then he jumped for the first thing he could remember, that night he had went to her room. "I just miss you... remember that night I went to your room? It's because every night I would be struggling not to and then that night I just did. Because I missed you so damn much." He ran his hand through his hair and leaned closer to her. His fingers suddenly moving along her lips. "I kissed you before I left." Andrew smiled and looked in her eyes, into that deep brown that somehow had managed to lock the guy that had never fell in love before. "I want to kiss you now too..." He told her biting softly on his lower lip

Rayna remembered the night like it was yesterday. she had been so comfortable and happy in the moment. that waking up with out him had almost hurt as much as the day they stopped talking. It made her chest hurt just thinking about it. But she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind. That wasn't important anymore. What was important was what he was telling her now. The feelings he was letting out. She was slightly happy for the damn accident... with out it she might have never got to hear the truth... it was horrible to think like that but really what else would have caused the revelation. She couldn't help but smile when he did; she chewed on her own lip. Not wanting to speak because if she did it might ruin the moment. Scare him away... and she didn't want that. "You can..." was all that slipped from her lips as she looked up at him. God did she want him to kiss her... want him to hold her. Ray just wanted to be close to him; like she had been so many times before. "I want you too..." she added quietly.

Andrew was finding it really hard to say all those things he had said in the night of the accident. Without the high of the adrenaline it just seemed too difficult to pour his heart out again. But he told her though, he told her at least the part that mattered, that he never wanted Roslyn and that he had feelings for her. Now he was just asking her to kiss her, because he missed kissing her too. He missed everything related to her. Smiling as she said she wanted him to, he leaned down and pressed their lips together. His hand gently cupping the side of her face as he kissed her slowly, but deeply. He pulled away only some inches, keeping their face very close as he opened his eyes to look at her and his thumb brushed against her cheek. "I'm so sorry for everything, Ray. I swear I never meant to hurt you like that. I was a selfish coward and look where it get ya." Andrew wasn't talking about the hospital only, just talking about her in general. How his stupidity had crushed her heart.

Rayna 's eyes closed the minute their lips met leaning her head up in to the kiss. Her hand rose and softly gripped at his wrist as his hand pressed against her face. The tenderness of the moment was slightly over whelming. But in a good way. He pulled away and she took a moment to steady herslef before she opened her eyes. A smile played at the corners of her lips as she realized he was still close. "You were kind of selfish... and an ass... and lots of other colorful words I might have come up with at the time... but it is in the past now... okay," she leaned up and brushed her nose against his. "After this I think we should focus on the right now..." she added in regards to the accident. It took something like that to show you how fragile life really was. And Ray didn't want to dwell on past event. She needed to look forward. She brushed her lips over his again; sucking at his bottom lip before she leaned completely back in to the bed. Taking the hand that was on her cheek and intertwining their fingers. Another thing she had missed holding his hand. "As lovely as this moment is... we are going to have to talk about what the doctor said.. you know..." she spoke quietly letting the fingers of her free hand brush over the top of the hand she held.

Andrew just kind of chuckled as she agreed with him he had been an ass. He was glad she knew that and for all that he cared she could go on insulting him, because he deserved it. He kind of wished she did start yelling at him about everything he did and about everything he had made her believe that afternoon. It hadn't been fair, he had screwed up with her big time and it kind of made him sad that she would just accept him back this easily. She hadn't even ask about Roslyn, she seemed just content with the way things were. He wondered if after he told her he liked her she had even considered the possibility of a relationship, a serious one. Because it seemed like she didn't, it seemed like she was thinking things would go back as they were before. "Right now..." He repeated after her, breathing deeply and focusing on her hand. Right now was very complicated. "I know." Andrew looked up at her and shrugged his shoulders. "Are you sure you and Garrett didn't forget any other time?" She nodded and he just sighed again. That was a crazy situation. "It's too much right now, Ray..." He confessed, his voice low.

Rayna was pretty much on the same page as him. It was a lot to take in. She had been dealing with for a while now. The idea of having a baby... It being Garrett's and how that was all going to work out. Now she was going to have to play a waiting game... Until they could figure it out for sure. She felt kind of guilty about it all. But really if you were going to have a baby at eighteen... Garrett was kind of the guy you would want around.. He was some what stable as much as a teenage could be. And Caring... good qualities to help you get through it all. And with Andrew there was so much that was never said... and he was still with her sister a fact that she was trying really hard to ignore because it made her wanna cry. He asked her about her and Garrett; she though for a moment before nodding. "I get that... Its a lot at any time really... I mean maybe the doctor's got it mixed up..." she said hopefully. She wondered if it would hurt he feelings that she wasn't willing to accept it was his... Why would it though he didn't want a baby... no normal guy wanted to be tied down with a baby mamma and a kid... "

Andrew sighed, he wished that could be a possibility, that the doctor could just be wrong. But after he left the room he had talked to him again and kind of forced him to look at everything again and make sure he hadn't made any mistake. And he hadn't, the baby was really 6 weeks old, so he was screwed. Well, or not, it depended, but there was some waiting to do before knowing for sure. "He didn't, Ray. I asked." He sighed and moved to sit on the bed, he hid his face on his hands for a while, breathing deeply, trying to make some sense in his head. "It's too much for me. I mean, you, Ros, the baby, the accident... it's too much for someone who doesn't really know how to deal with feelings. I just... I don't know, I feel like I can't take it and I'm afraid that I'll just trying to convince myself I don't like you again. I don't want to hurt you again." Andrew said honestly.

Rayna closed her eyes for a moment to hold back the random urge to cry from being over whelmed. Once she pulled it together she just watched as he sat on the bed. Too much for him... what the hell did he think it was like for her... yeah him and Garrett would have to wait too... but if anyone found out the rumors and the shit they would talk. You saw this crap on t.v the girls that couldn't figure out whole the father was... It wasn't a secrete that Ray was kind of a slut... okay a really big slut.. and that did not help the situation. "Too much... Try being me..." she stated bitterly as she worked to sit up again... she was really getting tried of her body working against her. Managing to sit up completely she leaned forward placing her chin on his shoulder. Her hand rubbed softly on his back. "I'm not any better at dealing with this shit than you are..." She huffed out. "I mean you gotta do what you gotta do... I would prefer you not stomp on my heart again... since you know that wasn't really fun the first time... or the second..." she paused for a moment. Her words were laced with a hint of harshness and sadness in one. Really what was she expecting to happen... He was still Andrew... "I need you to not bail... I can't take that... And if you don 't think you can handle that then... well i don't know really," she sighed.

Andrew looked down, because he was feeling way too guilty about that. "I think I'm bailing though. I mean, not really bailing, just stepping away for a while. I can't deal right now, I need to think, I need to be away from this." He scratched his head and turned his head to look at her, his hand rested in her face while he looked in her eyes. "I know this is hard as hell for you too. Well, probably is even harder, but you can deal with emotion a lot better than me and you have people supporting you. I only have people hating me. No one cares about what I feel and no one really believes me, because it wouldn't be the first time I was breaking someone's hearts. Because all people know about me is that I am Andrew Evans, I step in people's life and get out when I get tired, without caring of the damage I left there. They don't realize that I never get out of yours because I was tired and they don't realize I cared a lot about the damage I left. I've been feeling terrible for the things I did to you, even before the accident, I've been feeling miserable since I chose Ros over you." He sighed and his free hand laced with hers. "I'm not leaving you alone if the baby is mine, Ray. I'm not that kind of person, you know me better than the others, you know I wouldn't do that, not even to a girl that didn't mean anything to me." He was sure she knew, because she did know him, she was probably the only one, but she did. "But while we don't know... you'll have Garrett here, he can deal with feelings and all that shit. I really need some time out..."

Rayna just sighed... stepping away was slightly the same thing as bailing but she was willing to hear him out. "not everyone hates you; Andrew..." she replied shaking her head as he continued to speak. Watched his face as he talked; he looked miserable. And it made her sad... "I know you won't... Remember I think you are a lot better of a person then most... I just... I don't know..." she closed her eyes for a second so that she could gather her thoughts. There was so much swirling around in her head. "Like I get it... its really strange that i get why you wanna back off... but I do.. and I really don't blame you.. and you are right I have a lot of people around me... and I will deal... but I don't like knowing you don't have anyone... Its probably stupid and has something to do with these damn hormones but it how I feel," she finished chewing on her lip. Rayna knew for a fact that she wouldn't be able to deal with all this shit alone... she had no idea how he though he was going to do it...

Andrew nodded along with her words. He knew she saw him as a way better person than everyone else saw. And while the others see him as worse as he actually was, Rayna saw him better. Sometimes he believe she was closer to reality than the ones that hated, but the other time he believe they were right and he really was just a jerk."I don't work like you do. I don't have anyone because I never needed or wanted anyone to lean on. But I'm okay, I just really need sometime for myself, I don't need to hear people saying what I already know, I just need to calm myself down and figure out my mind." He leaned on closer to her and kissed her fronthead softly. "I'll be fine, just fine. But I really need to breathe after all this. And you know I'll be back, I care about you... a lot... I could never leave you like that." He told her honestly, looking in her eyes. Andrew already felt relief that he knew he'd get some time alone, way from everything, to settle his head down about all the stuff happening in his life.

Rayna reluctantly nodded... she knew that he needed time to think.. it was a given but she didn't like that it involved being away from her... but she couldn't do much about it so she shoved the feelings to the back of her mind. "Like I said you have to do what is right for you..." she replied with a weak smile. "And you better come back cause I might not be so welcoming next time," she said firmly before sighing. Who was she kidding she had so much to hate him for. And here she was sad that he was leaving... upset that she was yet again being denied the freedom to be close to him. When really she should probably wanna yell at him.. or hit him with something. but that just wasn't the case.

Andrew quickly nodded. "I will be back. Is not like I can all of a sudden leave Lima and never come back." He chuckled, then he shifted to turn to her in the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer, being careful because she was still probably having pain in all her body. Andrew pressed a kiss against her temple, while his hands moved softly up and down her back. "I'm sorry for hurting you simply because I was afraid of caring." He whispered to her in a comforting way his arms holding her close to him. "I'll make it up for you someday. I promise you I will." He smiled to himself and kept moving his hand in her back. Andrew did need to get away, but he was going to miss her a lot again.

Rayna leaned in to the embrace snuggling in to his shoulder as his hands rubbed over her back. "I am holding you to that promise," she replied with smiling. The statement brought up something she had failed to think about through this whole conversation. When he got back what was going to happen with them. Was he still going to date Roslyn... Or were they going to try a relationship... the thought alone worried her... They both had pretty shitty records when it came to stuff like that. She cheated and he didn't date at all... "Andrew," she spoke quietly... she didn't really know how to bring it up... "You're done with Ros... Right?" her voice kind of shook... she didn't know why...

Andrew stayed silent for a while at her question. He had barely thought about Ros yet. He didn't know, he probably would, because he wanted to be with Ray. But then again, he needed to figure out his head about all that stuff. "Let me have time to think." He told her honestly, breathing deeply and looking back at her. "But I don't have any feelings for Ros. Keep that in mind, I guess." Andrew shrugged his shoulders and stayed silent for a while before leaning in and kissing her again. The kiss more intense than before, because he was planning on leaving after that, there was nothing more he could tell her right now. It was useless. He needed to get away so he could come back as soon as possible.

Rayna well his answer wasn't really a no but it wasn't really a yes either. "Thats fair I guess," she replied before their lips met. It was a lot more intense then the first kiss which probably meant it was the last one for a while. It made her chest hurt thinking about it. She was pretty sure she was going to miss him more this time then she had the first time. Cause before she could mask it with the anger she felt. That wasn't the case this time. Her hand moved to grip at the material of his shirt as she deepened the kiss for a moment. Before breaking the contact. "I'll see you soon...." the statement was made more for herself then him. She needed to remind her self that he was coming back...

Snap shot: Andrew at the hospital

“I’m so sorry.” He blurted out, moving to the bed suddenly and grabbing her hand in his, the tears started streaming down his face once again. Andrew sat down on a chair next to the bed and gripped on her hand. “I wish you could open your eyes right now, I want to see them and I wanted to tell you all this knowing you’d listen, but I really just have to say it anyway. I need to tell you how sorry I am.” His hand reached to caress her face gently. “Baby, I know this is all my fault. I know I hurt you badly and you can’t even imagine how sorry I am for that. You just can’t. I guess I should let you know that I never meant to chose Roslyn over you, you mean so much more to me than her. You mean so much more to me than anyone else...."

Everything was black and cold Ray fought to open her eyes but failed each time. She could hear movement and sounds. Voices echoed through her mind; but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She hurt and her body felt heavy. Why couldn’t she open her eyes… A horrible panic flooded her body as memories flashed in the blackness. Suddenly all she saw was red and her chest felt like it was being pushed down. Making it hard for her to breath; she wanted to scream. To wake up but her eyes won’t open.

 She struggled to focus on the voices… hear what was being said… maybe make out who it was or if she was just making it all up in her head. She could tell someone was defiantly talking… but not if it was a real voice… the word Sorry flashed in front of her…