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im a lurker but holy shit the relief. I felt so weak with how much those posts would get to me. I admire you so much and to know you felt it too is like a mountain rolling off of me.
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Don't worry, I swear. I focus on the rage and mocking them because its easier. Plus it gets the point across better. But you are absolutely not weak for having it get to you. There are times I would log off and genuinely just want to give up completely because I felt so insignificant and lonely.
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if i suck the strap hard enough it'll become real
Alright, I missed out on the day because I procrastinated posting my art until the very end.
Happy late Let-Papyrus-Say-Fuck Day ;-;
I feel like I should feel bad because today was rough. This is Day 3 of broken sleep for both the husband and I and his meds adjusting. He woke me up at 3am, and kept me up until at least 5am, then we were up with our kids for school.
I tried to lay down for more rest, but every time, once an hour, I'm getting calls from doctors and such. My brain is fried. I said to my husband, just in exhaustion: "I hope your parents don't come over to bombard me with more information right now...At least today. I can't absorb it right now."
His parents came over before I went to work, tried to talk about medical bills and everything, and my husband stepped in, and firmly said stop. I've been trying to rebuild some relationship at least with my MIL, and sent her an apology, because she immediately went icy with me. It's been 2 hours since I sent an apology for my exhaustion, and I feel even worse now.
This is just a really trying day.
I’m trying, is what she wanted to say. Can you not see? See the weight on my shoulders and my lead laden feet? Why can’t you tell that I have terror in my eyes from worrying. Worrying I’m wrong. Worrying I’m not doing enough, trying enough.
But what she wanted to say, really, wasn’t quite that. If she was going to be honest. What she wants to ask is something said on hands and knees with wild desperation.
Why can’t you see me?
See her. See the crows feet by her eyes and rough hands from work. Why can’t you see me as I am? Why can’t you see my daughter and know, that because she is mine and I am hers, that she tried?
Please, she would beg with calloused hands pressed on the cold floor, why can’t you see me and believe I am enough?
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It's like I'm always on the edge of falling, falling into this deep deep abyss, just one push away from loosing sight of myself. Some days everything seems pointless, this hope holds me by my throat and even breathing seems like a burden. I try to hold on but my grip seems to loosen with time. Things get too complicated and I wonder if this is where I was supposed to be..I wonder how it would feel to just let go and stop trying, but the person inside me is still fighting. It's still hoping for the best and trying and trying, till it breaks down. What is my fate? Should I succumb to it? I wanna stop putting up a facade for once and be real. Would I ever be happy, the way I wanna be? or is this hope futile afterall..
Can You Hear Me? 13 is hilarious and it kind of gets lost in the noise of the point of the whole episode (and the utter bullshit of the fan reactions), but a duo of chaotic evil immortals decide to use her ego to free one of them from eternal imprisonment and she’s all Smug about being smart enough to release this woman until the dude is like. Okay but, hate to break it to you, we’re evil and tricked you! And she’s all shocked puppy face. She then proceeds to imply that she had no evil immortal nightmare vision of her greatest fear at all seemingly to head off anybody potentially asking her about it, and actually beats those two immortals this time and imprisons them both. It should be noted that she referred to them as immortals until she bested them, when she then called them gods. #egoÂ
