So this was fueled by a middle of the night hatred for how much my mother used to tell me 'don't wear your special clothes around the house!' (special clothes referring to my formal stuff that i get great gender euphoria from.) That, and also the phrase of saving the best til the last, such as waiting to eat the 'best' food on the plate.
the reason I hate it so much is because of how, additionally, the 'preservation' of such things unintentionally (or intentionally) fuels the idea of some sort of 'perfection' - which I also loathe a bit, because that perfection makes so many feel hopeless. so, in spite of that, i wrote this.
'to leave something (begging to be used)' - that verse is partially about me (and people around me (my parents)) saying 'oh I'll get around to that later' and eventually leaving a lot of guilt, time, and worry expended in the idea/thoughts about the idea, that go nowhere and end up fruitless because of nothing actually happening (thanks to pathological demand avoidance yay/sarc). It's also about my own anthropomorphising(?) of objects and how I feel guilty for giving them life and leaving them to waste.
The thing about death being inevitable, and use it before it's gone - I live on a very day-to-day basis, especially since recovering from my depressive period (in which I lived assuming I would kill myself the next day, or I would die the next day) and instead of focusing on the death of it, I started focusing on the life, and enjoying the life of it, and the experience. It's been rather beautiful, honestly.
Umm the 'children of changing choices' is a point to how society is ever-fluid, it's beautiful in that way, but uh it's kinda a reference-ish to how we aim to preserve what once was, but it just.. shows how fluid we, as people, are.
I don't know if this actually makes sense but it is one of my poems I enjoy reading and am proud of, so I've tried my best! There's more to this poem, but I think that can be left to interpretation!
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Mini Character Analysation of any potential EggMisu because I miss them:
Last post was about MangoNanas headcanons, and right before the headcanons I mentioned a ship name for the two of them thatās reflecting on their T/B dynamic. I did the same thing with EggMisu, but I was much more successful with it haha. The alternate ābetter soundingā name for EggMisu could be TiraNog, but I think theyāre both fine! Iāll be using EggMisu.
Anyway, Eggnog and Tiramisuās relationship could really develop in a ton of ways. Many of them I see never being official, others I see being one sided, and complicatedā¦
I want to talk about them a bit, specifically the unofficial, unreciprocated, and complicated ones.
For the āUnofficialā, to me I more or less see it as attraction being present, however they arenāt doing anything about it.
Eggnog really cares about Tiramisu, heās proud to have successfully gotten the kid to warm up to him and heās glad the two of them are such good partners. They work well together despite their opposing personalities and preferences in work flow. Eggnog is glad to have Tiramisu Cookie as both a coworker and as a friend. Which is why his positive emotions start to get the better of him and he starts viewing the kid in a different way. A more romantic way.
Tiramisu is a major grump when things donāt go his way, he finds Eggnog infuriating when he doesnāt outright acknowledge Tiramisuās protests or requests, but he doesnāt hate the guy. He really likes him actually, he appreciates the effort Eggnog puts into their relationship and to Tira it really does seem like Eggnog knows just what to do when things get tough. When Eggnog makes a mistake, he corrects himself right away, quick to making a better decision. When Tiramisu makes a mistake, Eggnog is quick to forgive him, to reassure him that things happen and all you can do now is learn from it to make sure it doesnāt happen again. Tiramisu really likes him, maybe sometimes even more than just a good friend.
But thatās weird though; to both of them. Tiramisu is just a train conductor, a young one at that, and Eggnog is fucking Santa Claus. Their relationship cannot go past a friendship level, it feels wrong and itās frankly immoral, so they have no reason to bring it up to each other. It would only cause problems.
But, regardless, their eyes continue to linger on each other for a bit too longā¦ Their conversations trail on to the littlest of things just to hear each others voices for a moment moreā¦ Their once-in-a-while hugs are held onto for a tad too many secondsā¦ But they canāt bring it up, they shouldnāt bring it up. It just causes problems.
Theyāre just coworkers, and really good friends.
For the āUnnreciprocatedā, the attraction is at the hands of either or. Iām more focused on the attraction coming from Eggnogās side simply because I feel like negative emotions could be stronger (it that makes sense lol i like angst :v) , but attraction from Tiramisuās side will definitely also be a little disheartening.
For Eggnog, the kid really is one of kind for him. He isnāt really sure when heās ever felt such affection and connection to another cookie. He canāt think of any friends who heās cared for on such a deep level, and although he loves his family with all his heart the care for him doesnāt at all amount to the care and adoration he has for that little reindeerā¦ That little train conductor kid Tiramisu.
He feels like he probably shouldnāt be thinking of this. Tiramisu is a young kid, and Eggnog feels like heāll just get in the way of the kids development. He doesnāt want to disturb Tiramisuās maturing process, since trying to involve himself in any way past a work or friendship level could really throw the kid off and he may accidentally have Tiramisu depend on him too much. Also, Tiramisu probably doesnāt even feel the same way. If anything; Eggnog may just be a good pal to him.
And he would be right.
For the āComplicatedā, itās more or less the Unofficial but with extra stepsā¦ and those extra steps are dirty and dark.
Eggnog and Tiramisu have finally told each other, they had their heart to heart and they finally let all their sugar rip from their bags into their bowl, but at what cost?
They canāt do anything else from here. A relationship farther from this is a slippery path to go down, and even admitting their feelings was a tough rope to walk on. It simply isnāt just the societal standards, itās also both cookies sense of moral. Eggnog letting himself get this far with his feelings for this kid leave him dreaded, sort of like the same worries he had in the āUnreciprocatedā hc.
Tiramisu is worried that if anyone catches on, their relationship will be disrupted. He knows that thereās certainly cookies who would disapprove (if not everyone), and he doesnāt want to risk anything bad happening to him or Eggnog if the knowledge of their relationship fell into the lap of someone whoād want to see them apart. Tira knows they probably shouldnāt be doing this in the first place, but he wants the freedom to care for who he wants to care for, regardless of who it is.
They can certainly get a bit closer in private, maybe set up dates to remote areas to spend more time together, but itāll still all feel so wrong.
Because it is.
Thatās all! Of course thereās a million ways to view these two, and a million different altering paths their relationship could go down, but I donāt have the time or energy to fit it all in this one Tumblr post anywayā¦ (Even if Iād very much love to.)
I think that the complicatedness of their relationship is wonderful and it should really be considered and explored. I think no matter how you look at these two, whether it be the sweetest and purest interpretation of any relationship they could have, there will always be a tidbit that sticks outā¦ Itās just the nature of their differing personalities and how they clash.
I spent a lot of time on this single post, and if Iāll be honest I had it sitting in my drafts since Christmasā¦ It was fun to write and I loved thinking about these two for so long. It also gave me a few fic ideas too, not sure if Iāll ever get to them.
If anyone read this all thank you! I hope it was insightful and thought provokingā¦ \(o^..^)
i caught something in dreamweaver cookies sprite art during my daily 15 minutes of dreamweaver appreciation and i thought i might post this here.
but basically, itās a design error.
the torso of dreamweaverās normal sprite looks like this. his cloak covers a good part of his waist and his hips so to anyone it looks like a belt or the end of a shirtā¦
ahem, soā¦
we know now that this is ACTUALLY a crescent. downturned, with a sphere. itās shown in his cutscene art.
howeverā¦ in dreamweaverās story sprites, it seems the artist may have gotten a bit mixed upā¦
in his sad and nervous sprites, itās turned up to be a waxing crescent. so this makes me think; either the people in charge of the cutscene art messed up, or the cutscene sprite artist messed up. but iām not even done here because in his gameplay sprites we have the same issue:
that boy has a downturned crescent here too! what the hell? who was the one that messed up, and what is the original design???
and i want to say that it couldāve just been a copy-paste error done with his cutscene sprites, since his default sprite has his torso tilted in a specific way that when drawn in other positions the design of his torso looks like a waxed crescent, but those two sprites seemed to have the crescent drawn on manually. so what the hell? LOL
i really love the cookie run super epic costumes that give the characters different personalities.
most recently, dreamweaverās costume (although not noticeable) does give him a bit of a personality change. or at least, demeanour? if that makes senseā¦
heās normally very cheery, bright, and kinda calm. his costume though really makes him seem like the god he isā¦ heās much more solemn, relaxed, and much more serious (to me)ā¦ heās still got that bright little side of him (or maybe thatās just his cuteness) (iām kidding, look at the sprites) but itās a lot more masked. or maybe thatās just his friendliness.
Ya knowā¦.
I donāt think there are enough dingbat posts over analysing every single song or culture reference these days. I just wish there were more idgits finding reasons to pout their lip about some peopleās expression of creativity and life experiences. Songs about fluid sexuality described in such a way that doesnāt agree with 100% of a certain demographic? Religious views that share the same one love principle, but follow different idols? Piss on it. Because we all knowā¦all bisexuals, all people with mental health disorders, and just all people feel the same about their expression of suchā¦ā¦.oh wait. Observation and critical thinking = yes. Flappin your twat at everything that doesnāt agree with your idea of acceptance = Stahp.
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The analysation of moving paths. The change in direction, the pause in thought, the waiting around, the urgency, the time watching. This is Grand Central Station.
I was set a task to take a 10-minute journey either on bus, train or by foot. Once I had reached my location we had to spend 10 minutes listening to a segment of Virtual Light by William Gibson. From then on we were to record what we could hear, see, taste, smell and feel. We could record this information in any way we would like.Ā
This task has been a springboard to my idea generation into creating graphic visuals for my campaign to drug users.Ā
My location. A metal bench between the north exit and main departure boards in Grand Central Station, Birmingham @11:00am-11:30am.Ā
What I saw
people meeting friends, family and loved ones
people waiting - stood with their bags between their feet watching the time and departure boards changeĀ
people looking at their watches
people running - theyāre late
people walking with a coffee and food - they are relaxed
people walkingĀ
What I smelt
A flowing stream of savoury foods
Fresh brewed coffee
The smells around the station are all food and drink related, these smells occur in this area as they are sold in many cafes to create a calm and relaxed atmosphere for travellers departing and arriving to and from the station.
What I felt
The cold, bitter wind tunnelling through the stationĀ
The sense of the world passing before my own eyes as I sit in on a bench watching peopleās paths change
What I heard
FootstepsĀ
Announcements echoing through the station on the tanoy
Music from restaurants and shops gently brushing over the sounds close around me
One ended conversation as people hold their phone to their ear making phone calls
The task challenged the way I normally work and was a technique that showed me how to gain a depth insight into an environment. By listening to a descriptiveĀ audio clip it felt like I had been sent into a new dimension that became creativelyĀ active as one moving and changing organism. I trusted my own instinct in how I wanted to record and react to my observations in the moment.Ā
When challenged with this way of gathering information I found myself entering a free and relaxed enviroment in my head. The way I see and translate imagery is abstract. I can feel very worried and anxious about sharing my ideas as I feel they are not a perfected graphic students work. With this technique it enabled me to relax and record in any format and style that I felt right for me.Ā
Above are photographs that I recorded. From the area that I located myself Ā to record and document, the main activity of movement that stood out to my eyes was walking. The kinetic shapes that are formed between peoples legs stretch and transform as they walk. This kinetic movement interested me as all shapes were different, dependent on the size of an individuals stride, nature of walk, length of the legs and clothing eg. a skirt, jeans, shorts etc. Studying this gentle formation change of one shape it inspired me to look into the art of graphic motion design. I could visulaise these shapes created on a screen morphing from one shape to another. I also was drawn to the paths that people walked through the station. Some walked straight, some turned around and re-walked their path, and some were confused and walked back and forth to directional signs to find their platform. these invisible paths I wanted to expose. I watched for 4 minutes people walk in my area of the station and recorded this by a blind drawing. I felt that using this technique I would be able to gain an increasingly abstract but acurtae drawing. The quality of the lines drawn have a subtle soft rigid as my hand and eye co-ordination were working in partnership to draw every detail that I saw. I found that the outcome was visually pleasing as it contains the depth of information I saw and intersting shapes and patterns can be created from this recoirding if i was to proceed in pushing the images boundaries.
I am planning to revisit this technique in projects to help me gain a strong research pinpoint to help me begin my creative thought process and journey into exploring how I can achieve my brief. Ā
