#amysworld

              Phil knew this was clearly a bad idea. If he was smart, he would turn around, walk back into his room, and pretend he never even considered it.

“Hey, are you heading out soon? I know you wanted to be at your parent’s by three”.

Well, that plan was clearly out the door. “Yeah, about that… Do you, uh, wanna come?”

“What? You know I’m visiting my parent’s on Christmas Eve and Christmas, Phil”.

Phil took a few more steps into the room and awkwardly wrung his hands together. “See, I do know that, I do, except I might’ve accidentally told them you were coming with me”. The last bit was mumbled quietly, and he desperately wished he hadn’t dug himself into this hole in the first place, and had just told his parents the truth right away. Dan stood up from his spot on the couch and started to ask Phil why the hell he would do such a thing, when he was interrupted. “It’s really, really not my fault, you see, cause my parents were nagging about the last time I brought a date home for the holidays and how nice it would be to see Martyn and Cornelia with me and whoever and that I really wasn’t getting any younger and I snapped and told them maybe I did have someone who was coming and, they asked who, and…”

“And you said me”.

“Yeah, you came to mind first and…yeah”.

Dan ruffled his hair with his hand and sighed. “Can’t you just call them back and tell them you were joking? I can’t just cancel my own Christmas plans, my parents think I’m showing up tomorrow.”

The looming problem with that idea was that this problematic phone call had actually happened about 3 weeks ago, and Phil had just pushed it out of his mind until this morning, when his mother had texted him about how excited all of his extended family was to hear they had ‘finally’ gotten together. “I’ll do the dishes for three weeks”.

Nothing, and then, “Make it four.”

—-

The silence that encompassed the train car was different. Normally the comfortableness they had around each other translated through conversations and silence alike, but the awkward anticipation of what was to come made the room stuffy and cramped.

Dan took out his headphones about halfway through the train ride and broke the silence. “So, when we’re there, do we have to act all couple-y?”

“I hadn’t really thought about that. I mean, I guess so. Everyone already thinks we’re a couple so it shouldn’t be much work for us, right?” The fake laughter that followed wasn’t making the situation any better. “I guess we should do some hand-holding, yeah, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything-“

“No, no it’s fine, I just wanted to make sure. So, uh hand-holding, and, uh…” He cut himself off.

“We’ll just wing it”. The phrase did nothing to calm either of the boys’ nerves.

The second half of the train ride went no smoother than the first.

—-

              Mrs. Lester opened the door to her home with a grin and a pair of antlers. “Oh aren’t you two just so adorable,” she pulled them into a hug and closed the door behind them, shoving them into the full force of the family party. They were welcomed by an array of people, from drunken aunts to tiny cousins to Grandpa Stewart. “Oh, I just knew you two would get together sometime, I’m just surprised it took this long!” She laughed whole heartedly, then left, telling them they would ully catch up after the party ended.

“Well that went smoother than I expected,” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s hand so as not to lose him in the mob of people that had gathered in the modest sized living room.

“Well there’s still 2 hours left of this party to fuck this up”.

They made their way across the room to grab a drink, but were quickly intercepted by a slew of questions from one of the aforementioned drunken aunts. “Aw, aren’t you two cute,” she grabbed their cheeks with her non drink-bearing hand and continued, “How long have you two been together? Your mother called me a week ago and told me the news”. She hiccupped, then looked at them for a response.

Phil panicked slightly, they hadn’t discussed their ‘getting together’ story yet, but Dan just rolled his eyes, sliding his arm around Phil’s waist and replied in a saccharine sweet voice, “Oh, not too long, just a couple months. We realized we both had feelings for each other and just took it from there, right sweetie pie?”

Once out of her hearing, Dan turned to Phil and hushed, “You’ve known for over a week and you didn’t tell me until this afternoon?” It seemed he was going to be angry, and Phil was ready to make a break for it out the back door if he had to, but the glint in Dan’s eyes quickly changed from fury to vengeance and he knew he was really done for. “Welcome to three days of hell, Phil”.

—-

Phil had no idea what that meant until the party had ended and him and his immediate family were sitting around the table for ‘the day before Christmas Eve’ dinner. Things were going swimmingly, until the inevitable, “So how long have you two been together? Like 5 years or like 3 weeks?” Forks stopped scraping against plates as the family awaited their answer, but Dan casually responded with the same saccharine sweet smile, “A couple of months, actually. We both realized we like each other, and just went from there”. At the end of his phrase he reached next to him and put his hand on Phil’s thigh, giving it a squeeze, causing Phil to turn bright red and shoot up from his spot at the table.

“I have to, uh, use the bathroom”. He left Dan smirking at the table.

—-

“What was that?” Phil yell-whispered up in his childhood bedroom, “You can’t just, just-“

“Just act like a good boyfriend would at a family dinner?” Dan sat unfazed on Phil’s bed, staring at the posters of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Uma Thurman on the walls. “Listen, you’re the one who wanted me to be your fake boyfriend for the week, so that’s what you’re gonna get. Don’t know what you’re complaining about to be honest”.

Phil sighed and sat down next to him, jostling the bed a little. “Yeah, you’re right, maybe I overreacted”. He didn’t say anything more, but he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

—-

Christmas Eve went by smoothly, if not a bit distractingly, with Dan using every opportunity to touch Phil and make him squirm. After about two hours of watching Christmas movies with Dan nearly sitting on his lap, he snapped, and decided that two could play at that game. If Dan had decided it was on, than it was going to be on alright. He grabbed Dan around his waist and pulled him fully into his lap, if not only for the look of surprise on Dan’s face when he did it. “Isn’t this a lovely movie?” Phil asked, glad to finally be in control of the situation.

“Y-yeah”. The tables had finally turned, and although this hadn’t been how Phil expected Christmas with his parents to go, maybe it would be fun.

Martyn turned to look at them and made an exaggerated noise of disgust. “Get a room, lovebirds”.

—-

Every minute they had together became devoted to making the other embarrassed. It no longer mattered whether anyone was around to see it. Their comfortableness around each other had very few boundaries, so it seemed nothing was off limits. Or, at least, they both knew where to stop. Phil doing dishes was and opportunity for Dan to hug him from behind, even if the first time it happened Phil hadn’t heard him coming and almost dropped the China out of surprise. Watching movies with the family was the perfect time for whispering in Dan’s ear, despite it just being dumb comments about the film. They had always been touchy, but now that they had an ulterior reason to be it felt different- more intimate, and neither could tell if they preferred it that way.

—-

Finally Christmas day came around, and both Dan and Phil felt a sort of unease about how they were supposed to act once they got home. They held hands throughout breakfast out of habit, despite no one else being in the kitchen, and eventually made their way to the tree where everyone else had been waiting. The presents were opened quickly, until there was only one left under the tree.

“Well would you look at that!” Mrs. Lester said with fake surprise, “Why, I wonder who it’s for”.

Phil rolled his eyes at his mum’s antics and grabbed the present. To: Dan and Phil

“It’s for us”.

They tore open the paper and opened the box beneath the bows and ribbons of wrapping.

Mrs. Lester spoke again. “I know they’re not much, but we didn’t have a whole lot of time. I hope you like them”.

Inside the box was a set of embroidered, black towels. Their initials were swirled together in gorgeous calligraphy created with white string. Whether it meant to or not, the gift perfectly showed how intertwined the two boys had become over the years.

—-

The time came for the boys to pack up and leave, and Phil couldn’t decide whether it felt like he was leaving the illusion of him and Dan behind, or he was going back to it. Only one way to find out.

Before wishing his parents goodbye, he snuck outside and fixed the scene, praying he’s have enough courage to keep with this plan when the time came.

Phil’s heart was beating in his chest throughout all the heartfelt goodbyes and promises to call and visit more often. The door closed behind them as Dan pulled their suitcase out of the house.

“Ready to go?” Dan asked, sounding slightly melancholy as he started down the steps of the front porch.

“I think you’re forgetting something, Dan”.

“I thought we grabbed everything, what are you talking abou-“ He cut himself off when he turned around and saw Phil pointing upwards. Phil pried the suitcase from Dan’s fingers and set it aside.

“Mistletoe, eh? How’d you think that got there?” He slowly stepped closer to Dan until they were mere inches apart. Both of their faces were red from more than just the cold. “Tell me to stop if you feel different than I do”. Phil pushed his hand into his friend’s and leaned forward even more. Eventually the space between them closed and their lips touched, and Dan wrapped his arm around Phil’s back, squeezing any space between them out. Phil’s hand went up to Dan’s hair as their kiss became deeper and less cautious, and it felt like they were explaining years and years worth of unspoken emotion between them. Maybe they were. Eventually they broke apart and waited for their breaths to even out again before joining hands and walking to the train station.

–