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i miss emma

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Congratulations to:
Amysfall for winning my BOTM!
Due to the lack of notes there were no runners up :( Though all of you that did reblog are amazing <3
emma emma emma emma emma emma emma please come back
âŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â slim jims âŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹâŹ
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ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ PromoGen
you two are my favorite people thank you for doing this <3
Julia: Aww, love, people like you make this so worthwhile!
Belen: Sharing the love with you guys is a huge part of the reason weâre doing this, and nice messages make us super happy :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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so for the one-year anniversary of my blog i decided to make a follow forever of cool blogs! enjoy!
a-dÂ
ameliagillan ℠ameliasrory ℠amysfall ℠amyskhaleesi ℠beautifulclara ℠billeipiper ℠claraoswald-and-thedoctor ℠claraoswiins ℠clarasity ℠classycastiel ℠cutiestiels ℠dalekicious ℠davvidtennant ℠doctor-depp
e-k
echoesofoswin â„ elevenslastwinter â„ emmarwatson â„ femaleactorsunite â„ gallifreystars â„ gayforgillian â„ iantojones â„ imposiblegirl â„ itseverdeen â„ kirk-out
l-p
mattsmithissexy â„ oswaldclaraoswin â„ oswinoswut â„ oswwinoswald â„ perfectlytennant â„ petercapalldii â„ ponderingrose â„ pondifying â„ Â ponnds â„ priorpond
q-z
quarterquel â„ shutupstrax â„ snogboxintheclouds â„ spookykaren â„ summersfall â„ sweettyler â„ tragicdoctor â„ trenzawhore â„ twelfthdoctah â„ wearethemockingjays
Stop, Drop, and Roll
Rating: R
Word count: 4,100
Somethingâs up with Karen, Mattâs a nervous wreck and an absolute sweetheart, and Arthurâs the helpful middle man as always.
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Starts off kinda cute but then plunges head first into the ocean of sadness. Comes back up for some air though.
Special thank you to Felicia (myamelia) and eternal love to Emma (amysfall) for helping me write this. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you :D
~story anon
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Karen grabbed the hot water bottle for her aching back and climbed into her empty bed. It had been two and a half months since Matt left to go shoot his new movie in Rio. He had just wrapped and was flying home two days early to surprise Karen. Matt was worried about his wife. Their Skype calls always ended with Karen holding her breath or throwing up. She was talking to Arthur on the phone when Matt rang the doorbell.
âYeah Karen, but have you told him yet?â
ââŠNo.â
âKaaaaaren, call him up right now and tell him,â Arthur groaned, âItâs been two months for godsake.â
âHeâs coming back soon anyway. Canât I just wait?â
âYouâre an idiot Kazza. Why would you tell me youâre pregnant and not him? Itâs his baby. Stupid idiots, you and Maââ
âAh, hold on the doorbellâs ringing.â
Karen got up from the bed and walked towards the door. She didnât bother asking who it was; she probably should have since it was past midnight. As the door swung open, Matt dropped his bags and spread his arms, beaming.
âHoney, Iâm home!â Matt exclaimed. Karen smiled. She hugged him and helped him bring in his things. Still smiling, she said, âI thought you werenât coming back for another couple days?â
âYeah, well, I couldnât wait to get home to my Kaz.â Matt leaned over and kissed Karen on the forehead.
âKaren, who was at the door? Hello? Is anybody there?â Arthurâs voice was barely audible from the phone.
âOh, whoops,â said Karen, grabbing the phone from the table, âSorry Arthur, Mattâs come home. Matt, say hi to Arthur; he just called you a stupid idiot.â Matt grabbed the phone from Karen and retaliated while she laughed. Matt handed the phone back to Karen and got up off the couch to change.
âOkay, Kazza, heâs back, will you tell him now?â Arthur was getting a bit annoyed at the Matt-and-Karen-style-idiocy.
âUmmâŠdo I have to? What do I say? How do you think heâll take it? Will he be mad I didnât say anything or or orââ
âKaren, youâll be fine. Just tell him already.â
âUgh, okay Iâll tell him. Bye Arthur.â
âBye Karen.â Arthur put the phone down and laughed, she was so not going to tell him.
When Matt got out of the bathroom, Karen was already in their bed. She contemplated telling him about the pregnancy, but Matt came in and lay down next to her, erasing every thought in her mind. She missed his sleepy low voice and the way his eyes lit up when he looked at her. He missed the smell of her hair and the way her nose crinkled when she laughed. The two of them talked until they fell asleep, and neither of them could have been happier; finally being together was ultimate bliss.
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Matt woke up early because of his jetlag and turned over to find Karen still sleeping. God, she was so beautiful. The early morning sun peeking into the window was just enough to make her bright orange hair glow. She really is a dream. After watching her sleep for ten minutes and slowing his breathing to match hers, Matt decided to get up and make her breakfast. He slowly got out of bed and quietly crept into the bathroom. Then he walked into the kitchen and looked for ingredients. He grabbed the flour, sugar, milk, and eggs and set them on the table. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he began to mix the batter for the pancakes.
When Karen woke up she found the bed empty beside her. She could hear Matt in the kitchen. What was he doing? After lying there for a few minutes, she decided to help him. She pushed down the covers and stood up.
Matt was just pulling the last pancake off of the pan when he heard her get out of bed. Hurry, hurry, he said to himself. Sheâs gonna get up and then it wonât be breakfast in bed anymore, come on! Matt rushed to get the maple syrup and the glass of juice onto the tray and walked as fast as he could to the bedroom without spilling anything.
As fast as Karen stood up, she fell to the floor. Ow! She grabbed her stomach, wincing, and sat with her head to her knees.
Humming, Matt got to the door and pushed it open carefully, still making sure nothing had spilled. He saw Karen and dropped the whole tray.
âKAREN!â
Matt ran over to her, pulled her hair out of her face, and lifted her head up. âKaz, whatâs wrong?â Karen looked up and the pain in her eyes was enough for Matt; he didnât need an explanation. He helped her up and took her to the bathroom. She walked bending over, with one hand on her stomach, the other around Mattâs neck.
Karen leaned over the sink and her arms kept her upright as she scooted along the counter to the toilet. She sat down and pulled down her underwear. Karen gasped. Blood. Oh my god. Iâm bleeding. Her hands trembled. Nope, nuh uh. This isnât happening. She covered her mouth with her hand. No way. Karen grabbed a pad from the drawer under the sink and put it on. No no no no no no. This isnât possible.
While Karen was in the bathroom, Matt grabbed his keys and phone. He paced around the kitchen and living room, waiting for her to come out. When she came still bent over, near tears, Matt told her he was taking her to the hospital.
Karenâs steps were delicate as she walked to the car. No, no please. This canât be.
During the drive, Karen thought she should definitely tell him but was in too much pain for words. Eight minutes in, Matt noticed the car was dangerously low on gas. Karen was still clutching her stomach and leaning her head back on the seat. Ohhhhhh. She clenched her teeth. Pulling into the Shell, Matt patted Karenâs leg. He got out of the car and hurried round to the other side. While he was out, Karen dialed Arthur.
âOh hey Karen,â Arthur said with a smile, âSo, did you tell him?â
âArthur,â she said, holding back tears, âSomethingâs happenedâŠIt hurts.â There was a long pause until Karen started talking again, âWeâre at a Shell, heâs driving me to the hospital, but I didnât say anything yet, he doesnât know.â
âOh KazzaâŠâ She could hear his smile fade. Worry filled his voice. âDo you need me to tell him?â
âCould you? IâŠâ Owwwww. Karen wanted to scream. It felt like someone was squeezing her insides and dragging them down her body. Her lower lady bits burned. Ohhh. She held her breath and bit her bottom lip.
"Okay, Iâll meet you at the hospital then,â Arthur said when Karen wouldnât finish her sentence. He jumped up, grabbed his keys and ran to his car.
Matt watched the numbers slowly rise. Couldnât it fill any faster? He looked in through the window and saw Karen kicking the inside of the car with her head tilted back on the headrest. Nope, this is fine, he thought as he pulled out the pump halfway and paid. He got back in the car and drove off before the door even closed. Every few seconds, heâd look over at Karen and his heart would throb. She was in so. much. pain.
âKaren, do you need anything?â Matt asked, although it was a stupid question because he couldnât give her anything anyway. Karen looked up and shook her head. She knew he couldnât give her anything too.
âShould I call anyone? Do you want to speak to your mum? Or Arthur or somebody?â Karen took her eyes away from her stomach, looked at Matt and said, âI called Arthur while you filled up gas; heâs driving to the hospital too.â Matt was relieved, he needed somebody to talk to probably more than Karen did. Besides, she could hardly speak.
God this hurts so much, Karen thought as she sat in the car. Sheâd never been in this much pain in her entire life. She closed her eyes and groaned. Ahhh, owwww. Matt looked over at her again and took one hand off the wheel to rub her back as she bent over.
"Just breathe Karen, youâll be okay. Everythingâs fine." Matt tried to believe what he was saying, but was he was panicking and almost ran a red light.
"Matt," Karen said weakly, "Iâm really scaredâŠOh ow!" Matt didnât know what to do, of course she was scared, he was terrified. He couldnât do this; he was freaking out.
"Itâs okay Karen, weâre okay, weâre okay, everythingâs fine. Everythingâs good." Matt wanted to scream from the anxiety. It was all too much.
Oh my god Matt please donât, this isnât helping.
Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry, this wasnât supposed to happen. You were supposed to come home and relax and weâd watch TV and cook and sit on the couch and go buy baby stuff and decorate the room and be happy and not driving to the hospital at 80 mph. OWW! Just stop, oh my god!
When they reached the hospital, Arthur was standing outside. Matt threw him the keys and ran to the other side to open Karenâs door. As Arthur slid into the driverâs seat, he turned to Karen, âYou okay?â he asked quietly. She nodded, and then turned to face him. She was not okay. She looked like she was going to cry. Her door swung open and Matt held out his hand. She took it and stepped out.
Arthur drove the car into the underground parking lot and parked it right next to his. Then he took the elevator up and called Mattâs cell.
Matt and Karen were making their way to the ER when Mattâs phone rang. He let go of Karenâs waist, took her arm off from around his neck, and picked up the phone. No Matt. Please. Donât let go.
âHey, what floor are you on?â
âUmm, uh first floor at the end of the hall. Second left.â
âOkay, Iâm coming up the lift, how is she?â
âSame, sheâs still- oh I see you, come on!â Arthur hung up and ran over to help Matt. With Karen between them, they walked over to the counter. The lady pointed them to a room down the hall. As they approached the door, Karen started to feel nauseous. She went straight for the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. A nurse came in to check on her and Arthur left the room for a bit. He had to tell Matt now. He walked back in, grabbed Mattâs arm and pulled him away from Karen.
âHey! Arthur, no! Hey what are you doing?â Arthur shushed him and closed the door. He hesitated and stumbled for the right words. Then he just quietly said, âUh, Matt. Sheâs uh, sheâs pregnant. About 11 weeks now.â Matt couldnât breathe. Ordinarily he would have been overjoyed and ecstatic, but they were standing in a hospital because Karen had stomach pain. Oh. Oh no, please oh god no.
âDo you think sheâsâŠno, no, sheâs fine, right?â Matt was hyperventilating. Arthurâs eyebrows furrowed and he frowned, I donât know. He opened the door for Matt to go back inside.
Karen hated throwing up. The morning sickness was terrible; sitting there all by herself with no one to hold her hair or rub her back or hand her the toothbrush and get her a glass of water when she was done. But this was worse because the pain wasnât going away either. A nurse walked in and asked her what she was feeling. Then Karen got up from the bathroom floor and made her way over to the bed. Jesus Christ! Owww. Make it stopppp. After lying there for a few minutes, a doctor came in and started asking her how long it had been, if sheâd noticed anything, how she was feeling, generally doctor questions. But it probably took longer than it should have because Karen had to stop talking every ten seconds to regroup from the pain. Then the doctor said the exact words Karen didnât want to hear. No. She burst into the tears she was trying so long to hold. My baby. Our baby.
And then the nausea was back and she was by the toilet again.
When Matt walked in Karen was still in the bathroom but this time sitting on the floor just like heâd seen her in the morning. Her head was on the ground by her knees and she was rocking back and forth. Please please please. Ohhhh please help me. Pleeeease. She could feel the room burning. Sweat dripped down the edge of her face and her body was scorching like the inside of an oven. Karen gave up on the pads and decided to just bleed on the floor. Her legs were stained with red. She could see the blood flowing out of her. Her mouth lay open and she bit down on her clenched hand. There was a banging in her head and she suddenly felt very dizzy. Karen couldnât breathe. So much blood, thereâs so much blood. She looked up and saw Matt's shoes in front of her.
ââŠMatt,â she managed to force out, ââŠhelp.â She was bleeding and crying and shaking and sweating and Matt couldnât bear it. He grabbed her and helped her up. Wiping her eyes, he said, âKaz, are youâŠdo you think itâs aâŠâ Matt couldnât finish that sentence. âKaz, are you alright?â She shook her head no this time. He gulped and tried to suppress his tears for her.
As the hour progressed, Karenâs pain got worse, and Mattâs sweaty hand was squeezed so hard it shouldâve fallen off. They were standing in the hospital room because Karen didnât want to lie down. She wanted to lean on Matt, so he held her tight. Blood dripped on the floor and a puddle of tears was forming quickly.
Oh! Karen gasped and put her hands between her legs.
âKaren,â the doctor said, âYou have to let your body push, you canât stop it.â Karen shook her head.
âNo. No, I donât want to. I donât want to.â Matt looked at Karen with his widest puppy dog eyes.
âKaz. You have to. Please.â
Matt could feel Karenâs heart beating and see the beads of sweat dripping down her face. He pressed her hips with both hands and pushed his forehead against hers.
"Itâs okay Karen, itâs okay. Itâll be over soon, shhh. Youâll be okay. Youâll be okayâŠ"
Arthur knocked on the door to check how things were and pushed it open slowly. He could see Mattâs back and Karen with her head on his shoulder. As he entered, Karen looked up. Arthur nodded to her, yes I told Matt. And then Karen nodded to him, yes, miscarriage. Arthur couldnât look anymore. The ground was much more interesting. Until he saw the blood. He left the room.
Karen was screaming and crying and blood came rushing out of her. Kill me now! This is hell! Tears poured down her face. She gripped her stomach and her mouth fell open.
"OWWW! MATT MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE. Please make it stop, please Matt. Ow. OWWW!"
And then it was over. Karen was breathing hard and fast. She turned around and saw her sac on the floor. She immediately started shaking and went weak in the knees. Her vision blurred, and all colors seemed to fade. Bad idea, bad idea, close your eyes. Mattâs grasp tightened as she fell and he took her back to the bed. People came in and cleaned the floor. Matt walked over to the door where Arthur was standing right outside. Arthur turned as it opened and gave Matt a hug. No words were spoken.
Karenâs eyes were still closed and she only opened them when she heard the people cleaning the floor leave. The smell of disinfectant filled the air. She slowly got up and walked to Matt at the door. He turned to her and she instantly broke down into tears. So did he. He grabbed her and pulled her close, with one hand around her back and the other on her head. They cried and cried and cried.
Karen wanted to die. She cried for the pain and for the baby and for not telling Matt and for making him worry and for making Arthur worry and for Matt being away for so long and for having to do everything alone just to lose it when she wasnât alone anymore and she cried for the room she was planning and for the box of her old baby clothes in the closet and for everything sheâd caused and all the things that she couldnât do anymore because the baby was gone. What a cruel thing life is.
Matt was overwhelmed by everything that had just occurred, but hearing Karen cry like this was the worst thing that had happened to him all day. He had to keep her strong, no more freaking out. Do it for Karen, no more anxiety Matt, no more.
Arthur bought them some water and left it in the room. Then he went home, heâd come back again later.
Matt stopped crying but Karen didnât.
"Karen." There was no reply. He lifted her head and looked her straight in the eyes.
âKaren, hey, itâs okay, itâs not your fault.â
She choked on her tears and stopped crying. âIâm sorry Matt, Iâm so sorry. I hate this, I hate myself. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve told you and I didnât know this would happen and it hurt so much and it still hurts and Iâm sorââ Every word she spoke sounded more and more Scottish.
"ShhâŠ" Matt pulled her in for another hug and kissed her forehead.
âYou are perfect.â How could she say she hated herself? No, never. Not in a million years.
Matt guided her back to the bed, which was actually a new bed that they had switched out, and pulled down the covers.
"Mmm, get some rest Kaz, youâve been through a lot."
Matt knew from experience that she always felt better after sleeping. When she broke up with Patrick and was crying over the phone, Matt had come over and helped her go to sleep. And when she was super upset because she couldnât get a scene right the entire day, Matt told her to rest in her trailer. And when she was leaving Doctor Who and wouldnât stop crying for days, Matt brought her take-out food and made her tea and tucked her into bed. She would feel better after sleeping away the pain; she had to. At least to the point where she knew that none of this was her fault in any way. Ever. He could never blame her, how could she?
Matt sat down in a chair which he pulled right up next to Karen as she crawled into the bed. He held Karenâs hand and waited for her to fall asleep before he did anything. When he was sure she was sleeping, he got up and went to find some food. Man, he was starving. They hadnât even gotten to eat his pancakes. As he walked around the hospital, Arthur called.
"Hey Matt, howâs she doing?"
"Well, sheâs asleep right now, and she was crying that entire time before, but I think a little better? Thereâs no more physical pain as far as I know. So I guess thatâs good."
"If the two of you need anything, let me know, okay? I left those water bottles in the room; did you drink them? You two were crying rivers."
"Yeah, I saw those, thanks. Iâm going to go get some food and stuff. Do you wanna sit with Kaz? I donât know if I should leave her alone."
"Yeah mate, Iâll be right over. Want me to bring the food?"
"Nah, itâs fine, I need to get out anyway. âKay, see ya."
"Yep, bye."
Matt took the lift down and opened the door to the car. He drove out of the parking lot and looked for some food. He bought three coffees, some sandwiches, and a few scones. Then, he drove to a flower shop and bought Karen a dozen daisies. After that, he drove somewhere else and got her some of her favorite organic chocolate and then a tiny radio and a Frank Sinatra CD. When he was almost back, he decided he shouldâve gotten her a card too, so he turned around and got that.
Karen woke up with a lump in her throat and a broken heart. Her stomach hurt a little, but it didnât matter. She saw Arthur sitting in Mattâs chair.
"Hey Kazza, feeling okay?" Arthur asked. Karen nodded but her gaze was far away.
"Good. Mattâs gone out to get some food, heâll be back soon." God bless Matt; she was starving. He walked in with all the stuff heâd bought, a teddy bear, and some balloons. He leaned over and kissed Karen as she sat up in her bed. They ate the sandwiches and drank the coffee while listening to Sinatra. Karen felt like a princess. A sad, bare, in pain, worthless princess. But, she had to admit, all the stuff the boys were doing for her did make her feel a little bit better.
Thatâs life (Thatâs life),
Thatâs what all the people say,
Youâre riding high in April, shot down in May,
But I know Iâm gonna change that tune,
When Iâm back on top, back on top in June,
Karen finally smiled; she could listen to this song forever. Nothing like a little Thatâs Life from the one and only Frankie to make her smile, thought Matt. He and Arthur shot glances at her and then looked at each other with the same mischievous grin. They stood up on their chairs.
"I SAID THATâS LIFE!"
"THATâS LIFE!"
"AND AS FUNNY AS IT MAY SEEM!"
"SOME PEOPLE GET THEIR KICKS STOMPING ON A DREAM!"
"BUT I DONâT LET IT, LET IT GET ME DOWN!"
"CUZ THIS FINE OLD WORLD, IT KEEPS SPINNING AROUND!"
Karen laughed. She really, properly laughed. Nose crinkles and everything. A warm fuzzy feeling bubbled up inside Matt. Yes! My Kaz is back! Matt and Arthur jumped off the chairs and onto the floor so they could make the most ridiculous motions to go along with the song as they sang.
"IâVE BEEN A PUPPET, A PAUPER, A PIRATE, A PAWN, AND A KING!"
They flailed their arms about for the sole purpose of hearing Karen laugh more.
âIâVE BEEN UP AND DOWN AND OVER AND OUT AND I KNOW ONE THING!â
The hand motions stopped and they got more serious.
"Each time I find myself flat on my face.â
They stopped singing and stared at Karen.
I pick myself up and get back in the race.
The boys walked around to either side of the bed and kissed Karenâs cheeks.
Thatâs life.
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Matt and Arthur spent the rest of the afternoon and evening listening to Karenâs music, singing, and dancing, and trying to find the smile hidden in that moon face somewhere.
At some point, Arthur went out to grab some dinner and then came back to the hospital room. At around 9:30, he decided to head home. He kissed Karen on the cheek, patted Mattâs head, and left.
"Matt, can you turn off the light? I wanna try to sleep." Karen put her plate on the little table by her bed and lay down on the pillow.
Matt walked to the door, flipped the switch, and sat back down in his chair. Karen turned onto her side with her back towards Matt.
It only took a few minutes for the tears to come rolling back in. What the hell just happened?
Why? What did I do wrong? How could it be? I didnâtâ Iâm notâ I wasnâtâ
âŠWhy?
Matt thought she had fallen asleep, but ten minutes later he could hear her crying and see her body shaking. Oh Kaz.
Slowly, he got up from his chair and climbed into the hospital bed. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, âEverythingâs gonna be just fine.â She fell asleep in Mattâs embrace. Yeah, everything will be okay.
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Thanks for reading you guys! And thank you again to Felicia and Emma! :D
Also this is the first thing Iâve ever written, so could you guys let me know what you thought of it?
And sorry for the sad. But it was a little happier in some parts, right?
Screencap meme: Doctor Who + bruised and battered Requested by: amysfall