wanna play 20 questions?
what are 3 flaws your character has?
3 of holden’s biggest flaws are; he deprives himself of any sort of affection. sure, he’ll come fuck you, but the second you start trying to be weird and cuddle after he’s gotta go. he was told a few times by a shit ex that he was OVERLY affectionate, so he took that as a hint to fucking stop altogether. he likes to think he can take care of himself, he can handle any sort of chaos that comes his way with no problem, but the fact is, holden struggles A LOT when it comes to being responsible, or when something unexpected happens. he likes to think that he’s got his addiction under control - and for the most part, he does - but holden struggles with it every single day and just doesn’t know how to deal with it. therefore, he buries his dick in someone and calls it taken care of when the itch of wanting something comes around.
what are 3 insecurities your character has?
holden’s always afraid that he’s gonna relapse. whilst he has a pretty okay grip on his addiction, the temptations are ALWAYS there - especially with the company he keeps around. holden’s also insecure that he’s gonna be alone all his life - whilst he has a load of people he talks to all the time, there’s a few he really considers his friends / family. but he has that voice in the back of his mind always telling him that they’re just keeping him around as not to hurt his feelings. he really struggles with his health in general - his mental health is a fucking nightmare; with constant nightmares when he’s capable of falling asleep, to sleep paralysis demons, to full on panic attacks holden doesn’t feel it’s anything he needs to talk to anyone about. he’s always telling himself ‘well, if you hadn’t fucked up your life then maybe you wouldn’t have so many fucking issues’ and refuses to be a burden to anyone. he likes to play like he’s superman, but he isn’t.
what is something your character is most proud of?
the thing holden is most proud of, is his career. for someone that wandered the streets, selling himself, drugs, and even going as far as stealing, this is a huge accomplishment for him. and he’s amazed that so many people can appreciate his work as well. holden puts his heart and soul into each and every tattoo and sketch that he does because he wants people to be fucking proud to have his art on them for good.
where does your character feel most comfortable?
the tattoo parlor. holden finds himself at ease at love hate tattoo, the people there are his kind of people, the clients are always interesting, and holden gets to show off his skills. so when he’s there, he feels like he just belongs in the space, and no one is sitting and judging him.
where do they feel most uncomfortable?
anywhere that he’s alone. holden and being alone have never gone hand in hand - before johan arrived to the apartment for residency holden was never there. if he had to be, he made sure he had someone over. if not, he’d be out in the bars, finding company and solace in someone else. when he’s alone, he thinks too much, and when he thinks too much, he gets that itch for a line or two to shove up his nose.
what are some hobbies of your character?
he’s a gym rat; holden absolutely loves being in the gym to keep up with his physique. ever since he’s been in recovery, building up muscle and tone so he doesn’t look like that lil sick, thin, deathly looking man he used to be. he actually likes hiking, too! anything that requires him to be outdoors, sign him up. he also has a drum set, but given that they live in an apartment he’s been unable to play it like he wants to.
are they more extroverted or introverted?
definitely extroverted. there’s not one person that holden wouldn’t talk to - if a brick wall would respond, you could bet your ass he’d have a conversation with it as well.
does your character have any scars, how did they get them?
holden has too many scars to even count. however, they’re mostly covered in black ink, or in places people can’t see and he prefers to keep it that way. most of them are from using needles to shoot up, some are self harm scars, some are just from being completely stupid. but a huge majority are due to his self sabotaging ways.
what is/was your character’s relationship like with their mother and/or father?
holden’s always been the black sheep of his family; his mom and dad had his life planned out for him before he even arrived on earth. the meant to be lawyer was anything but what they expected. a rambunctious, rowdy, and hard to get anything done kid was their soon to be worst nightmare. once they found out that holden wasn’t going to comply to their expectations, and they found out that he was on drugs, they kicked him out and disowned him on the spot.
have they any siblings, if so, do they get along?
he has an older sister, elisabeth. the two of them haven’t spoken since she found holden overdosed in his apartment.
has your character ever had a reoccurring dream or nightmare, what happened?
it’s very seldom that holden sleeps; he has insomnia and finds himself awake more often than not. when he does sleep, more often than not he’s paralyzed in bed whilst a figure that looks like a mixture of gollum and the broke neck lady ( from haunting of hill house ) looks over him and holds him down. nine times out of ten it starts with the creature just sitting on his chest, staring him down with drool just oozing from it’s shark like teeth. they then lean over holden’s face and breath this hot, sulfur smelling breath right in his face and they slowly start unhinging their jaw ( think pennywise in IT ), trying to eat holden’s face and he can’t move. so needless to say, if he can skip the sleep, he does.
what qualities does your character look for in a friend?
holden just looks for someone that can be as annoying and as hilarious as he can. someone that doesn’t take life too seriously and he can just vibe with. as long as he can get along with you, that’s all that matters to him. ( they also gotta not mind him stealing their food whenever they go out to eat ).
what qualities does your character dislike in others?
people who take life too seriously. holden likes to think of himself as a jokester, so if you’re going to be around him and suck the fun out of every little thing, don’t even bother speaking to him because he will put you in your place. he also hates when people are overbearing, and naggy, and just a fucking negative nancy.
how does your character react to confrontation - are they a fight or flight?
fight definitely. holden has no issues taking a problem head on ( unless it’s a problem that relates to him ). if he sees someone in trouble, or if someone comes to him saying something happened - holden is the first one to ask where they are and how he can find them.
how easy or difficult does your character find it to say ‘i love you’ to someone? have they ever said ‘i love you’ without meaning it?
saying it and meaning it, is something holden can’t bring himself to do because he truly thinks that love is some made up concept that he’ll never understand. faking it, that’s a different story. he just laughs and says thanks and goes about his day. holden has never said it without meaning it though, except the one time he told his ex right before they started getting bad.
what does your character believe will happen to them after they die? are they in fear of this belief?
holden’s convinced that he’s gonna come back reincarnated as one of the queen’s corgi dogs. and if they’re dead before he dies, he claims he’ll come back as a cricket so he can piss everyone off.
how does your character react toward children?
he hates them. they’re gross, needy, rude, they ain’t his cup of tea.
does your character have any fears? if so, what are they?
holden’ afraid of swimming. he once nearly drowned during a swimming practice when he was 8 and ever since then, getting in the water - whether it be a pool, sprinkler, or ocean - he just ain’t having it.
if your character could relive one memory they have, which would they choose and why?
it would more than likely be the moment he realized what love really was. when he felt it, it was unlike any other feeling in the world that he had ever encountered. and he would give up anything just to feel that little bit of happiness just one more time.
