Mar 28, 2021
The only man who gave me a love letter is now my husband.
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The only man who gave me a love letter is now my husband.
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I don't know what I did in my previous life, but I'm grateful that I'm no longer in the phase of my life where I cry at night, questioning my self-worth and wondering why I have to feel this kind of pain.
Ako lang ba? Pero hindi ako na niniwala sa mga zodiac signs. Like, why do you always connect the zodiac signs to your attitude or the way you act or do your thing???? Maybe some of you act like that kasi yan nabasa niyo base sa zodiac sign niyo. I've read mine and yeah may iba na medj ako pero yung iba nope.
Before i met my husband i was in an almost 3 years relationship but it was so toxic. He was so manipulative mentally, physically and emotionally. Lose a lot of friends, lose a lot of opportunities and i lose myself. I was so in love with my ex back then that i let it all happen. I will not deny that at some point he made me happy but the trauma that the relationship gave me was incomparable. I had trust issues because of him cheating on me not just once. I depend myself on him and i let him value my worth that's why all along in our relationship i am not who i really am. I was so dumb and fool back then.
Then, one day i woke up with the realization that "this isn't the life that i want." Then i broke up with him, he said okay without hesitation.
I could still recall the days when i was living alone in an apartment. Where almost every night i cried myself to sleep after spending an entire day with the people that made me laugh. The reason why i cry? I don't know. There were nights that i feel so empty, nights were im overthinking and the nights with no reason at all. Those nights, i thought i couldn't survive but i did. Reminiscing those horrible nights made me feel so thankful that i finally set my self free from those. Who and where i am now was a process that i made for a long time but it was all worth it.
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I remember nong mag jowa palang kami ng husband ko, he used to pick me up at my university every 5pm after ng class ko and nong kanya. I would always say na "don't wait for me at the gate, wait for me sa may first street." Kasi he is a teacher and i'm a student, also he is wearing his uniform tapos ako din haha madami kasing ma chismis sa uni namin. But he will always refuse, palakad palang ako papunta sa gate nakikita ko na siya smiling. I would always feel butterflies with that little things.
Mingaw
I opened my laptop out of boredom and saw my old files. I have a folder where I keep all of the photos and videos that I took in college. I saw photos and videos of people I used to hang out with in college. Grabe! How time flies, I had no idea I'd have such fond memories in college and so many friends there. If only i knew na ganito pala feeling pag tapos kana ng college that you all have to part ways kasi may kanya-kanya ng goals, jobs and some may family na (including me) i should have cherish more those moments. The tawanan, iyakan, tampuhan tapos yung tagay sessions every friday 😂 my circle isn't that big but i have 3 barkadas in college first is my teammates, third my pol-sci fam (classmates) and lastly, "Tagay-fam" where iba-iba yung course namin, we knew each other accidentally then boom nag click kami na maging friends haha things just happen. May mga random friends din na anytime or minsan nakakasama ko. I miss them a lot, but wala talagang time for meet ups including me kasi i have a baby hindi pwedeng dalhin sa labas because of covid.
I realized that time really does fly by and that we never know what will happen next or in the future. We should really enjoy things and live in the moment because there will come a time when you won't be able to do it again or it will take a long time to do it again. My memories with my college friends are priceless. College memories are truly unforgettable; they will make you happy and sad at the same time.
I only have 9 close friends bilang na bilang diba? Haha Sila lang barkada ko, kasama ko pag gumagala ako, chinachat ko ng rants or ka dramahan ko and sila lang yung pinapapunta ko dito sa bahay. Marami akong ka kilala tho i can't call them as my close friends or barkada. Yung 5, friends ko since childhood days namin. Then yung 4 is barkada ko nong nag college na ako. Marami akong ka kilala nong college kasi Athlete ako, i have a band and im a performer sa university ko before but yung 4 is yung pinaka close ko talaga yung nakakasama ko kahit saan at na pagkakatiwalaan ko. I may have a small circle of friends but atleast i know na totoo sila lahat sakin. Also, i don't have a bestfriend because i can't choose one kasi lahat sila totoo sakin and i cherish them all.