The dictionary of obscure sorrows defines “moment of tangency” as a glimpse of what might have been. By the way, this channel is so good, and soothing definitely a recommendation.

Speaking of words. I’m so grateful that “despair” is a word. As it usually goes with me and English words, I usually hear a word a lot. I hear them in movies, or read them in books. and since I’m too lazy to look their meaning up, I usually just skip them and try to guess the general meaning of the sentence. But when a word is repeated enough, my mind catches it. And I start using the word without ever being sure of what it means. I first use consciously like my gut us telling me that this word fits here. I have no evidence whatsoever, but the word is coming from my heart so I say it and hope to God that’s enough to give it the meaning I intended :D. Despair is one of those words. I never really googled it, but I found myself using it a lot. It’s actually so cool. To me it resembles the feeling of something that’s just hanging in the air, in a vast universe without a known cause or purpose. And I’m like that a lot. I often feel as though I’m just a little thing floating over an atmosphere of mystery. Floating in emptiness, in void, in ..well.. in despair. 

 To a lot of people, being vulnerable is just a moment of weakness. Or at most a state of sadness or annoying tenderness. To me, it’s a state of existence. Being vulnerable is everything. We are vulnerable to our thoughts, we are vulnerable to our emotions. We are vulnerable to our physique, we are vulnerable to who we are. It took me a while to stop hating myself for being that vulnerable, and realize that that’s just who we are as humans. These moments of weakness are just the moments we so consciously realize this fact.