#amish stud

Class Favorites: Movie Ranking Part 2!

And we're back for part 2 of the 2024 movie ranking. If you haven't seen part 1 and would like to, feel free to go check it out.

Notes:

Some reviews are longer than others, that's okay.

I'm trying something new with the Trigger/Content Warnings. This time I'm just going to mention that there is a warning and if you want to go look into what's up, you can do what's necessary for you. A few exceptions may apply.

_______________________________________________________________

26) I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

4 teens decide they want to "bury" the evidence of the accident they were in, however nothing stays secret forever and someone is gonna make sure these kids never forget.

I am not smart enough for horror movies. I was confused for a ton of the movie and even had to ask my coworkers, the ones who are into horror and slasher films, if I ended the movie knowing the WHO of the whole movie. I struggled less with that during the sequel, so that's the reason I'm giving for ranking that one over this one. Again it's a lot of blood, but if these types of movies are your thing, I don't think you'll mind so much. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a what many would call a must watch in what I call the Pop Horror genre and after having seen it, I believe it works well among it's peers. I've also never met a Freddy Prince Junior that wasn't at least decent.

27) Outside Providence (1999) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Tim Dunphy is going nowhere fast or that's what his dad believes. After a run in with the law, he's sent off to a Connecticut boarding school for a second chance. That second chance is made all the more sweeter when Tim meets Jane and contemplates a different life. *TW/CW

This is another movie I've watched the trailer for on VHS tapes and decided I needed to see it. When I finally found a copy on tape, the box made it seem like the funniest movie alive. Based on the trailer, I thought it was gonna be a romantic comedy with a fall air around it and some giggles of the cute kind. The reality is that it's a for sure a romance and a little bit on the funny side, but it was not the hilarity piece some claimed it to be. Outside Providence is cute and has a decent rock soundtrack, but it's downside is that it's also riddled with a ton homophobia and ableism. So yes it is cute, there's just some rough spots in it.

28) My Daughter's Disgrace (2016) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Peyton Harris is a high school senior who thought she was taking private pictures for no one else's eyes but her own. Now those once private pictures have been uploaded to a revenge porn site and shared with just about everyone she knows, and many she doesn't. Upon hearing the news her mother decides it's her personal mission to take down whoever did it. *TW/CW

I feel like the intention was for this movie to lean feminist, but still found itself rather shame-y despite it's efforts. Like yes you can do this private thing as a way to celebrate your body, but it's still your fault if they become public, even by no fault of your own and even if we're gonna fight to figure out what happened. The shame, along with the unrealistic ending made this one rank a bit lower on list, even with all of it's drama and lots of internal conversation. Works in Lifetime land, but could have stuck its landing better.

29) Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Another remake of a popular classic. How two blended families came together to make a total of 12, navigate changes in their lives as their family business grows and they figure out what's important.

It was alright for what it was, however I thought it tried really hard to be progressive. A lot of it just didn't feel as easy or natural as it could of been and I think that's what ultimately hurt it. Some of the commentary and jokes were hella real though. There were a few moments that were geared towards the parent/adult watching, which was funny to me and aided in giving the film that fuller family vibe I didn't hate from older family films. If family movies are your thing and you make ironic woke jokes about yourself, this is your kind of movie night.

30) Valentine's Day (2010) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

3 different couples and many other people in their orbit navigate the world on supposedly the most romantic day of the year.

It's a mega ensemble mash-up romantic comedy, that went on to get an unofficial sequel for New Years Eve in 2011. These types of movies feel cheap and easy lol. I think they're supposed to seem grand and give you feels and make you want to believe in something called love. I don't want to give this movie too much credit, yes it is cute, but I won't put it in my top rom-com list.

31) Prom (2011) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

For high school seniors graduation isn't the big day, it's actually PROM and these students will do what it takes to make the night one to never forget. Add in bad boys that aren't bad and good girls that are constantly told they need to relax and you got yourself a classic.

An almost 2 hour long movie about saving prom, with the most 2010's soundtrack ever, yeah that 3 is way too high.

32) Perfect Addiction (2023) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

When your champion boxer boyfriend decides to cheat on you with your sister, you decide to cheat on him as your trainer and start training with his #1 rival. What could possibly go wrong? Or right depending on how you think about it. *Based On A Book by Claudia Tan.

This one is better than many of it's spicy new adult peers, however it still produced several eye rolls and wishes of things I thought they could of handled better. This story featured quite a bit of talk about dom/sub dynamics, so I also wished that they would of dug deeper into the conversation they have surrounding manipulation, dominance over woman, and how improper kink can play a roll in all of that. (A far too big of a conversation for this particular post, but know I have many thoughts.) This movie could use a ton of work, but because the bar is already so low, it manages to step over it pretty easily compared to others in the genre. You'll love it, if you like these often toxic romance films.

33) Sugarbabies (2015) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

What happens when your new collage roommates convinces you that letting an older man pay for your time is a positive thing, despite your obvious reservations.

Another inflated 3 stars for a Lifetime movie, typical of me. This movie would be in the gutter based on its decision to give redemption arcs to men who CLEARLY don't deserve them, but it did a halfway decent job in others areas that some of the lower made-for-tv movies fail at, so there's your ranking answer.

34) Stolen Baby: The Murder of Hedi Broussard (2023) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Two best friends with one pretending to be pregnant at the same time as the other, wind up down a scary path of secrets and murder, to uphold the lie. *Based On True Events. *TW/CW

My biggest gripe was that they did the ending so dirty with this movie. Now I don't know the real story and don't plan to look it up, but in Lifetime land, I needed way more drama and that's pretty weird for me. I wanted them to fight a little more and for the story to just be filled out more than it was. Essentially drive the point home! If you hate when they fumble the ending, then this wouldn't be a top one for you either. There is a lot happening here though, so you might still get some entertainment out of it.

35) Amish Stud: The Eli Weaver Story (2024) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

An Amish husband is tempted far too much by English women and modern technology, so much so that he may or may not have conspired with his "friends" to let go of his Amish wife, who just doesn't do it for him anymore.

Among other probably gross handlings of real people's lives, I'm not sure I want many more of these films based on actual crimes. I've said many times that I'm not a true crime girly and this movie is proof as to why. Just overall felt in poor taste.

36) Before I Fall (2017) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Life seems to be great and going rather well. You're popular and going to all the hot parties and then one day it decides to stop and repeat itself. Over and over again You now have to repeat the same day for the rest of your life, but why not try and figure out why, along the way. *Based on a book by Lauren Oliver. *TW/CW

I own this book and never wound up reading it but after deciding to skip to the movie my overall thought is that, it irritated me so much. It's essentially about giving one person Déjà vu, so you can then turn around and give the mean kids redemption arcs in the process. Here's to thinking it was going to be far more nuanced than that. Don't know if it does justice to the book or not, but if you like YA book adaptations as a form of entertainment, I think you'd find something here, just not my top pick.

37) Missing At 17 (2013) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When Candace finds out she's adopted from someone other than her parents, she runs away and gets involved with an older man who aids in her finding her birth mother.

Tell your kids that they're adopted please and thank you. It will save your family a lot of stress and trips to the police station. This is the part of the ranking where we get into the territory of "its low because I don't remember it or it's low because it was bad," this is both.

38) Pregnant At 17 (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Chelsea just wants her life back after she witnessed a violent crime. Although she dropped out of school, she is seeing a distinguished older man named Jeff who says all the right things, including that he will leave his wife when the time is right. That all changes when Chelsea finds out she's pregnant and Jeff acknowledges how illegal all of this "fun" really is. *TW/CW

The "At 17" series always ranks fairly low for me. I just have a hard time because they seem to want to play the game of legal vs inappropriate. If they make it illegal it adds to the drama and creep factor, if they make it legal but weird, to them it might not have the same bite. I don't know, I'm not here to justify the trash, I'm just here to consume and tell you how bad it is afterwards.

39) Murdered At 17 (2018) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Brooke suffered a severe head injury during cheerleading a year ago and she's still trying to find a sense of normalcy. Things are fine, but due to the injury, she suffers from fits of rage where she may also blackout. It's hard to find people who can relate to her, but her friends are solid and she's on medication. While out one night she meets a wealthy "18" year old who seems like a win, until he gets a little too attached and untangling that one poses some difficulties.

I'm not going to change my ranking here, but it seems like past me ranked it higher than several other Lifetime movies on my big Made-For-TV ranking list, so I'll just go with the idea that this one is probably better than I am remembering it, in relation to the others that proceeded it on this years ACF. Still 2 and a half stars though, that hasn't changed. Oh the things I will consume for my love of this mess and anything featuring a former Degrassi cast member.

40) The Boy She Met Online (2010) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Cami like many other teenage girls wants to find love, however the boys in her class aren't exactly it so she goes online to find that special someone. That's where she meets Jake the 23 year old college student, who's super cool and mature. Things start to go south we it's revealed that instead of being in college Jake has been serving time elsewhere and that's not his only lie.

This is where I started to dip my toes in the "met online" series of Lifetime-esk movies. These function similarly to the "At 17" series, where you take someone 17 or younger and put them in dangerous situations for entertainment. I believe this movie and it's peers try to be warning labels about the internet and to their credit will give folks anxiety (or I'm just a ridiculously anxious person) but if you already don't take them seriously, I think you'll laugh more at the message than you would actually take it to heart. PS: Teens and online dating do not mix.

41) Pretty Little Addict (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Dealing with the loss of her father to cancer, Jennifer decides to drink at a party. Instead of being responsible and letting her friend drive home, she gets behind the wheel and crashes into another kid at the party. The problem is, this particular kid had dreams and a brother who wanted to see those dreams come true. Now she's in rehab trying to better herself, and that same brother kinda just wants revenge cause the justice system isn't doing good enough. *TW/CW

Not gonna lie, I don't think you actually want to watch a movie where the pretty, young, white girl drinks and drives, almost murders a person and gets what many would consider a slap on the wrist. It's not a good plot to begin with, but knowing all of that just makes it more irritating. I watch all of this stuff, but I don't think it's good.

PS: This and a movie a few ticks down are more features where the ACF ranking fluctuates from what I said in my Made-For-Tv, Lifetime List ranking. I still trust this list, but I do trust that one a little more, cause that gets updated right after I watch the film. Also if you want to see that list, DM message me and I'll send it to you.

42) Time Is Up (2021) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

After an accident that causes Vivien to loose the memory of what happened to her, she must 1) decide which boy is telling the truth and 2) who does she love?

Again it is better than it's peers, but it is still very much a WattPad story if you've ever seen or read one. Bars are set really low here and although it cleared it, it just hit too many of the cliché tropes for me to let it pass more than barely. I enjoy a good memory loss story, I'm just tired of fake bad boys and "lost potential." It might be your thing though, who knows.

43) Three To Tango (1999) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When they guy that is considering you and your business partner for a big design project, gets the impression that you're gay, unbeknownst to you, asks you on the side to spy on his mistress, I mean girlfriend...he has a wife.... Essentially somehow you agree and get wrapped up in mess and we're supposed to believe it was an accident.

I believed there was spark in this one, for the most part. That being said there were parts of this movie that weren't great and although my brain can't remember all the details, I feel like they were probably inappropriate and just didn't age well. My notes do say that it wasn't that bad though, so maybe the "good" just didn't do the bad any favors here. Although it may rank low, trust that this would be an easier watch/sell, than some of the other films that surrounded it in this ranking.

44) Sex Tape (2014) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To spice up their relationship one married couple decides to make a ridiculously long private adult film. At the end of it all, she tells him to delete it. He obviously says okay and to no surprise to anyone, doesn't. Eventually The Cloud gets involved and now the video is out there for all their friends, family and coworkers to see. To get back the video, they must exhaust the night and she must try not to cause bodily harm to him.

It was bad. That's the review. Sometimes the former cast of Freaks & Geeks can make a raunchy movie and you're into it and then sometimes they end up being very much trash with maybe 1 or 2 cute scenes involved. Yes, this movie does go in the pile with Zach and Miri Make a Porno and that's because they're terrible with A cute scene. Obviously there are worse movies in this list, but that doesn't make this one better.

45) Honey 2 (2011) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To prove that she can change and do something with her life and well get back at an ex in the process, Maria joins a new dance crew and hopes to win big.

This movie gave NOTHING. I don't like to use the word boring lightly, but I was not feeling it. It's definitely getting lumped into the sequels we ignore category. Not memorable and very little spark. Not worth it, however now that I've seen number 2, I'm more willing to complete the trilogy and check out number 3... eventually.

46) A Teacher's Obsession (2015) ⭐️⭐️

A star athlete just needs a little help in class, but the teacher who ends up helping her out, decides to go the extra mile. *TW/CW

This movie was just gross and wildly inappropriate. It's hard for me to recommend something that gave me the ick the whole time. There are better bad movie night films, skip this one.

47) The Bride He Met Online (2015) ⭐️⭐️

3 teenage girls prank some guy they met online by convincing him that he's met his dream girl from another country. The girls post the heartbreak to the internet and when the guy finds out, he decides to seek revenge. *TW/CW

I think it is really cruel to prank and bully people in this way, full stop, however this was an incel movie if I've ever seen one. It goes from one extreme to another and the moral is quickly lost when you see how the end is unfolding. Not good, actually terrible. Your movie is not less incel simply because you're a woman and allowed girls to be depicted doing wrong things.

48) Beautiful Wedding (2024) ⭐️ 1/2

Travis and Abby after getting drunk married in Vegas, take Abby’s best friend and Travis’s cousin to Mexico to celebrate the newlyweds honeymoon. On said honeymoon they’ll decide whether to stay married or call it quits before the vacation has even really began. (The sequel to Beautiful Disaster.) *Based On A Book by Jamie McGuire.

This was the only movie that got a full blog review in 2024. Essentially it's easy to talk when the material is such trash. Go check out that post if you want the long version, but the condensed version is that the whole movie felt like a parody of itself and is essentially only good for bad movie nights and people who are unironically into New-Adult films, but I wouldn't even recommend it to them, because it's that bad.

49) To Save A Life (2009) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Jake is the big man on campus, but when his former best friend takes his life, Jake now spends his days trying to answer the looming question of "could he have saved him?" This leads him down the path of more spiritual answers. *TW/CW

I had been telling myself to watch this movie for months and after several library checkouts and returns, I finally put it on. This movie was ridiculously heavy handed. It hit all of the classic tropes including such winners as "be nice so folks don't harm themselves or others," "shame as an encouragement tactic" and we can't leave out all of the not so great "not-so pro life-pro-life" stuff either. I knew it was gonna be a little something, something, but this was far too much. The best part of the whole movie was when they played Dare You To Move by Switch Foot. It's no surprise, I like my Christian pop punk.

Side Comment: It features a Steven Crowder jump scare, which was rather funny to me. He essentially plays the younger douche bag version of himself, without his character needing to be religious. Whatever you believe about all that information, I can guarantee that you're right.

50) 0 (2001) ⭐️⭐️

The friend who can't seem to let you win, does what he can to make sure in every way possible, that you don't. *Based On The Play Othello by William Shakespeare. *TW/CW

I believe that I was recommended this movie by a coworker, but after having seen it and then questioning them about it, I may have only thought they were recommending it to me. (It probably came up in a conversation about how much I enjoy a teen sports movie.)

In 2024 we start and end things with a youth sports movie. I love Julia Stiles and will give anything of hers a shot, but this was the first one I've seen, that I can say that I've actually hated. I can't with all the race-play jokes, among other egregious things directed toward black men. I've never read Othello, which could have helped me out here, but honestly after watching this adaptation I have no desire to see what the source material has to offer. Gross, ick, insensitive, all the things that could be wrong are wrong with this film. The only redeeming factor is the cast and not even they could save it.

________________________________________________________________