Dating in America
The one thing I hate most about the journey to finding a livelong companion is unlearning the most annoying realization:Â
Since [assigned female at] birth I’ve been conditioned to romanticize relationships [with those assigned male].Â
Even as someone who identifies as demisexual [and possibly aromantic], as soon as I get close to a man I immediately think of dating them. Which for the life of me, I. Don’t. Understand.  I’ve been having to reprogram my brain to look past the facade I make up and holes I fill in with my imagination and ask myself,Â
“What do I like about them?“
“How do they make me feel?“
“Can I trust them? Why so?“
“How do they treat other people?“
“Are their values aligned with mine?“
“Is their journey on the same highway as mine?“
(I’m sure there are more I could add, IDK) I have to remind myself to ask the hard questions beyond surface level stuff. I have to remind myself to look past superficial events and shared memories. I have to remind myself to look at the person. I have to remind myself to note the green AND red flags. I have to remind myself that toxicity, misogynoir, and other negative traits are NOT attractive. Is it safe to say...? I kind of hate it here.Â
