ā³ ā³ ā³
For every āā³ā I receive, my muse will openly talk about a bit of their backstory.
āI donāt know what you want me to tell you.Ā I donāt have some sad, sobby backstory thatās going to make you feel bad for me.Ā And I donāt know what you already know, that I wouldnāt want you to know.Ā So, fuck me, I guess?ā
āI got really lucky finding this body.Ā Iād taken over this shut inās life before, and I just, I couldnāt go back there.Ā I - ah, fuck - the phrase I liked that was Iād been gestating a little something, and it didnāt work out.Ā Like, I had everything all set up and ready, I had a name ready, but, I donāt know.Ā Ā Iām just ... incapableĀ of creating new life - but somehow I was able to grow something inside of me for months, and I had the full experience of feeling and seeing it all come out of me.Ā I just, freaked out.Ā I drove up to Whale Pond, and just kind of... found a nice spot in the woods to bury everything that came out.Ā I just, wanted her to be somewhere beautiful and peaceful.Ā I just feel bad, that I couldnāt keep her in me as long as she needed to be in there.Ā And Iām mad.Ā Mostly at myself, but at everyone else, because everyone else gets to fuck and make babies like itās nothing, and I canāt even get one.ā
āIām not forgetting Abezethibou.Ā I could never do that.Ā Trust me, Iāve tried.Ā I know heās not technically mine by blood, but at a certain point, it doesnāt matter.Ā I know Agrat went around telling everyone he was mine, so thatās good enough.Ā I still donāt appreciate being her little backup plan for when she was tired of playing Mommy, but that shouldnāt be a surprise for anyone who has spent more than half an hour with her.Ā Ā Absolutely no sense of responsibility.Ā Iām not going to air all the dirty laundry I have, but she left me with a really emotionally stunted kid, because she has no actual ability to connect with anyone above a superficial level, and she thought a baby was some kind of accessory or attention-gimmick.ā
āAnd thatās my beef with her.Ā You fucked up a perfectly good kid, and you donāt even care?Ā I had to tell her he was gone, and all I get is a littleĀ āOh.āĀ Oh, you know what else she saidĀ āI thought you would have done a better jobā.Ā And honestly, I should have been allowed to kill her for that, and whoever pried me off of her should be fired.ā
āAnyway, where did I start?Ā This body?Ā Lucia is still here.Ā I hear her sometimes.Ā Been a lot quieter since I killed her boyfriend.Ā She used to have enough fight in her to get the arm back and try to choke me, but that jokes on her.Ā Thatās just arousing.Ā Ā She really hates me dying her hair, and I canāt wait to hear her freak out when I get her stupid tattoosĀ covered up.Ā Iām just thinkingĀ āwhatās going to upset her thatās also reallyĀ āmeā?ā And thatās whatās taken so long.ā



















