Mm ramcoa details under the cut
I’m in full prey drive I have been cued to be aggressive so don’t mind if this fucking rant goes for the throat. I haven’t been drowned repeatedly for an hour in the name of some fucking god to have people adopt being a system like it’s a quirky personality trait. I haven’t been crucified to be mocked. Endos will never know the fucking hell it is being a system. They’ll never wake up feeling like they’re being waterboarded again. They’ll never wake up in a cold sweat begging for relief. My personality is shattered. That’s why we’re a system it’s shattered. They’ll never experience the consequences of having feelings that have been forced upon you, they’ll never experience having to bow down to internal handlers. They’ll never experience the ptsd side of things. They’ll never experience not thinking too far into the future in case you die. They don’t tense up when someone knocks at the door. They don’t memorise the families footsteps and learn whether or not it’s safe to be awake. They’ll never experience being treated like a wild animal and being locked in cages to the point where you fundamentally don’t believe that you are human. They’ll never experience any of the trauma not just ramcoa related that’s just what I’ve pulled out, they’ll never know the crying innocence of a child as their parents fight, they’ll never have the awkward phone call with a mental health professional because you said something strange. They’ll never feel the relief and the dread of an abuser dying. They’ll never experience being programmed and having your name stripped from you because you’re no longer human, no longer worthy of having a name. You’re a robot, a dog, a pig, a doll, a puppet, a plaything. You’re to be played with, to be sorted. Because it’s not about that for them is it? It’s about having imaginary friends and “the future is plural!” And they don’t recognise the shit that goes into it.
