hi i just have something to get off my chest
my and my boyfriend j have been together for a little more than six months now (eeeeek!).
we met through my (kinda/sorta it’s complicated) best friend sam. j used to drop by our work every so often to hang out. he used to work with sam before, at our current job. they were the best of friends— sams bailed him out of jail a few times, etc etc.
at the time, me and j weren’t together, just two people with a mutual friend. sam had told me that she was growing some feelings for j (months and months) prior. backstory/ sam has a boyfriend of going on five years now.
sam was going to break up with her boyfriend, b, to see if there was anything there with j. a few friends and i talked her out of it, bc he had just gotten out of a messy relationship with his ex.
fast fwd six months, j came back to work with us. we got close, hanging out after work or meeting up when we were off to go hang out with sam. we were stonie balonies, smokin and tokin away. me and j laughed over the stupidest, not-even-funny-iest things. i didn’t really think of him romantically, but i guess looking back now, i see our relationship budding. (ha ha ha, get it!)
we used to go sit in the park by the beach and watch the sunset together, and smoke on the dab pen. he’d send me funny memes on insta and then ask to go hang out and smoke. he kissed me one day, a little unexpectedly— to me at least— while we were both high and chilling. it was.... thrilling. i laughed and said, in my usual sassy manner, if that’s how he kissed girls. which led to a heavy makeout session in front of tj max, yoga mom squad and a family of koreans. (aka june 16, our anni. eeeeeek!)
i was torn. between my feelings for j and my obligation to sam. she hadn’t brought up j, romantically, in months, but #girlcode. yenno? what kind of best friend was i?
we hid our relationship for 3 weeks, sneaking kisses outside, before we told sam. we both felt like it was wrong to have to hide. j has no idea that sam had any feelings for him, so he didn’t really GET IT. he thought she would be mad about our age difference— he’s 33 and i’m 19. but me? i was terrified. my heart was racing, cold sweats down my back, the works. j blurted it out as we were walking to her car, and lord, the look she gave me. a mix of shock, disbelief, and anger.
she didnt talk to us for the rest of the night, even as we sat in the restaurant, eating. she didn’t talk to me for almost a week, ignoring me at work, even though she’s one of the managers, shorting me of my tips and skipping me on tables. after the week, we sat in the walk in and we talked. she said she was sorry for behaving like a child. if we wanted to be together and we were happy, then fine. she’d be happy too. me and sam slowly got back into our comfortable routine at work, and things went back to normal.
the first three months of me and j were rocky. he quit and got a new job. we fought a lot. about money and eating out, his drinking and me not telling my mom about him. i would go to sam, and text her while we fought. she was my go to.
last month, she made this snide comment about me and james spending too much time together. at this point, we basically live together. she would make little comments about j here and there. if y’all knew j, he doesn’t take any kind of talking behind the back. ultimate form of disrespect. i was so fed up with sams comments that i told j. he felt it was the ultimate betrayal. his best friend talking shit. he told me he wanted nothing to do with sam and our job, did not want to be invited to dinners or lunches, etc.
and i told sam, when she asked if j was coming to dinner. i said, honestly, he’s not going to come out anymore. he’s done. we’re over these petty little snarky comments about our relationship, and he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. and she looked shocked.
maybe it was my fault, i gave her too much room in my relationship. but maybe i should have known. i’m just a girl who starting dating a guy she liked.