#alyantorcha

Hey Aly. It's me again. I posted something for you the other day in your tag. I want you to know this. Things might seem like shit right now. Actually not seem. They are. But you're strong, and extremely resilient from what I've seen. But seriously seriously seriously take my next words to heart.

It's okay to.. Not be okay.

It's okay to be sad, stressed, and tired.

And to let people see you like that. I'm not saying you have to depend on them wholeheartedly.

The key is to just. Do things, while you're sad, stressed, and tired. Which you are. Most people let it stunt them. Most people just stop in their tracks. But you can't control emotions. Can you control mood? Of course. I can put on brighter clothes, have a positive outlook, open the blinds, go on walks. Keep myself active and around people that stimulate my senses.

But sometimes you're still going to feel sad, stressed, and tired still. And again, that's okay. It's out of your control.

And feeling upset that you're upset just makes you feel.. double upset. It's just arbitrary and cruel to do that to yourself. Be gentle on your soul, lovely. Because you're beautiful, just going through a hard time.

I don't know you or your mom, or your guys' issues. But just remember she has her own perspective and hopefully loves you and is just trying to be a parent the best way she knows how. I'm not saying that to guilt you, but just to remind you that despite the fact that we think think our parents know what they're doing because they're older than us, isn't necessarily true. We can't expect them to know what's best for us all the time, especially now that we're older. So as weird as it is, teaching them what you need from them is what sometimes needs to be done. Not in a preachy way. But just. Honest. If you want to be left alone and not comforted, say that. If you want a hug instead of being given space, say that. They're not going to know what to do unless you tell them what you need, you know? It's a two way street though, and that's the part that's the hardest is that they also have to be willing to listen and change their habits. Which may not always happen. Just be patient though, and realize that they're watching you grow and change and it's hard on them too because while you're figuring out who you are, they're also going through changes and a shift in how to see you, as a young adult now, as well.

As for your boy guy person, don't be afraid of letting him in. It's scary. It's really scary. Not to keep an arm out and a buffer zone. But he doesn't look like a bad guy. And you know what? If shit happens, and he fucks you over, or you fuck him over, then it happens. And you're strong enough to overcome it because hey. You're alive, you have your limbs, and you're breathing and have food and a place to live. If he's willing to stick around while you're figuring yourself out and defining yourself, then it'll be okay. Because not everyone is going to be pearly white and pristine all the time. Not you, not him. He's not going to hurt you. Honestly. And you know if he does, and if a huge fight and fuck up happens, I'm sure if you guys care about each other, there's a thing called working on it. If you want to. And surprisingly some guys are patient and understanding enough. I didn't think so till recently lol. And if they're not, if they don't want to be around while you're doing your thing and trying to do this thing we call life, then you know, I wouldn't really want them there in the first place.

Life isn't about how many times you fall down. It's about how many times you stand back up.

Always here for you, girly. <3

Flowers and bunnies forever,