I'm realising we might be teeming with the desire to interact and engage with alterhuman community. But we're not experiencing in it... We've heard that one of the ways to do it is to write posts. Even if they are just about your own experiences. Idk how it might help and what interest our experiences might have for others but... We can try. We want to try. We'll make a couple of posts, or try to, and see if we can articulate ourselves.
So. Lately we've been realising how much of our experience could have been related to alterhumanity. For now we'll focus specifically on all the different aspects of non-human things we experienced.
As a child, we were kind of always full of Urges™. So many that we honestly assumed it was nothing important, because they all felt so disjointed and random. Phantom feelings of a tail, or fur, strange feelings about our height, and posture. A desire to turn into a wolf and run far far into the woods, through the fields. The need to ground against pur hooves as an elk. Constant yearning to just run and run and run, and later an even more unbearable yearning to fly.
When we started to have dreams about flying, we just thought everyone must have those. We were always a human in those dreams even if it felt really awkward in those dreams. And surely everyone felt a deep seated envy for birds and felt it unfair they can fly and humans cannot?
I suppose it's only recently we realised it might be alterhumanity that we're experiencing. And that maybe us being plural is why it never made "sense" that we're non human before. That feeling literal aspects of an animal, or a plant, or evern an object could be perhaps unusual.
It just kind of sucks when you're already unusual in many other ways, and also suffer from derealization, so those different aspects just merge into one blob of "nobody cares about anything in me so it must not be anything important or even distinct, everyone feels that". When you yourself just don't feel real.
All those things are honestly not even half of all the different shifts and urges that we experience. I'm pretty sure at least one of us is some sort of pankin which is one hell of an experience tbh, being everything and anything. But for now we really won't go into it all, the post is already long enough. It's just about the little things that we feel we should've put more attention before.
