An ode to my sister
It's National Siblings Day, so here's some roughly chronological stories of my sister being Savage AF:
- like that time my mother asked her how she got to be such a witch and she replied "bad genes and a good example" without even taking a breath
- and that time my bf was trying to shoplift and I was too lame to stop him myself. "I already don't like you, when I scream for the manager and they pin you to the wall, I. Will. Laugh." (He put it all back)
- or when I had an illegal house party and my field manager told her she couldn't have a beer because she was 16. "I don't even want any of you here, if I can't have a beer I'm calling the cops and watching you all get thrown out." (She was given the beer.)
- when a friend majorly overstepped, and then tried to retcon what he said - "why don't you back up faster, bitch."
- also when she got a promotion 6 months before it was due...and told her boss that was great, but the pay increase was still 30% under market value for the position. And the optics would be bad, considering they were going through an inquiry about underpaying women. (She got the increase.)
- oh, and when her last landlord refused to turn on the heat, she printed out copies of the laws about it along with the complaint phone number and slid them under every apartment door in the building the day she moved out.
She's buying a house this year, and I just hope they're good to her, because if they're not they will NEVER see her coming, I swear.
