#alovinglife

Lately I’ve been struggling with my unhappiness. At work, in my relationship, and ultimately with myself. That I want more and i want to be happy with my circumstances, but am not. So turning the cube seemed like the logical solution. Turn the cube until the parts start to fit. 

So I’m out applying to jobs, quitting on my relationship, trying desperately to change the things I can change in hopes of finding those missing pieces. And I see my struggling with the same unhappiness that pushed me to leave Arkansas. 

“Environment does not change the level of blessing”

Returning to “A Loving Life” I am brought back to the book of Ruth. Ruth had plenty to be unhappy about. and instead of lamenting, she loved. The results of that were blessings beyond that which she could have imagined.

Running from my unhappiness isn't going to solve the issue. Instead adjusting my attitude to be one of love, instead of self pity and unhappiness. Standing where i am, accepting God’s “right now” for me, trusting that this is a part of his plan and embracing the discomfort even though I wouldn’t chose it for myself.

I am not in love with this part....but I know that God has a plan for me. Fearfully and wonderfully made and not to be wasted. God is using this season of discomfort to set me up for my success. And i trust his plan.

I decided not to endure in Arkansas, but that didn't stop the lesson that God wanted me to learn. I ran from that environment but the real issue followed me. My self pity and self righteousness create a never ending narrative where I am the victim. Lashing out, thinking of myself deserving of better. And focusing on that. Instead of thinking of God and focusing on his will to have far beyond what I can conceptualize. And how can I focus on God while constantly channeling spirits of angst in my heart.  

Change your attitude, change your situation. Not run away from things. Thats not growing me. Thats not helping me to get ready for my next level.