Ice Queen.
I got hurt. Hurt and rejection was the one fear I had. I am a proud girl and I started to freeze my emotions. I started to build an emotional wall. Inside the emotional wall, I built myself a fortress to live in. I was THE Ice Queen inside my fortress, behind my wall, no one could hurt me, no one could come in unless invited. It wasn’t a bad time in my fortress. I learned to love myself there, I learned to invest in me, I learned to do things for me, I learned to buy things that I’d love. If I wasn’t going to have a love to do it for me - I’d treat myself just how I wanted to treat myself. I thanked myself, I appreciated myself, I was my significant other and I enjoyed the time I had with myself (you know when people say enjoy being single? Well there, that’s how I did it). There came a time though, I did get lonely, there were physical things I couldn’t do for myself. I craved human touch. Not necessarily someone to dedicate my life to, just someone to enjoy, someone to have some fun with, someone just to accompany me now and then. I was on a good path. I’d found a new life. I’d found a new job. I’d planned to get my own place. I planned to be crazy cat lady. I met men, and just by looking at them, they weren’t right, I wasn’t interested, even though I liked the thought of being interested, I suppose I was just waiting for the one, and I was going to enjoy my own company and freedom until I found the one. And suddenly he came into my life, two days before I’d started my new job. I’d known him years and loved him from the moment I set eyes on him (long story, but now he was available, and it turned out he was as interested in me as I was him, just neither of us ever believed it). I let him past my wall and I started to melt... Nothing I’d ever felt before felt like what I felt when our souls were as close as they were, and it was so natural, it was something that had always been with me, and now I could be with him. My one, my soulmate, my Marky.
