#allaboutyou

My pen touches paper

and every line

that I begin to draw

becomes a picture

of your face

I pick a direction

I think will lead me away

yet, again and again

I find myself, arriving

at your door

The shopping list I write

and fill with mundane items

becomes a description of you

when I read

between the lines

I think I’m telling a joke

but there is no punch line

and the only sound

that anyone hears

is me, calling your name

I paint a picture

of my pain

of my chaos

yet when I see it

I notice

the only color I’ve used

is the blue

Dear 2020 ,

You were one amazing, heartbreaking, soul-shaking year.

I am thankful,

Thankful for the amazing people I got to meet.

Thankful for the love I got to give and receive.

The lessons were a bit tough and I will definitely never be the same again.

But there are so many memories to look back at.

I got matching tattoos with my best friends.

I achieved so much professionally and personally.

Lost myself. But became someone better and wiser.

I learned that life is shorter and more unpredictable then I could have ever imagined.

I had to learn to deal with loss and regret.

Suffer with the idea of plans made that can never be executed.

I learned how vulnerable a heart can be.

But the most important thing I’m taking from this year is to never take anything for granted, to always give all the love I can, to be gentle and kind. Never go to bed angry. And most important of all appreciate every little things, every small victory and every single person in my life.

This year was one hell of a ride but we made the best out of every moment.

We survived even the darkest nights and the deepest wounds when we thought we couldn’t bare any more.

This year felt like it would be the death of me but it was the death of the person I use to be.

Suttogd a fülembe, hogy minden rendben lesz

Hogy itt leszel mellettem

Mikor hajnalban lázasan ébredek

És a szíved után nyúlok hirtelen

Mikor csak bámulom az eget

És a csillagok állásából

Kirajzolódik arcképed

Tiszta, akár a viharos égbolt

Ártatlan, mint megrészegült jómagam

Csak légy velem

Mikor megérint a pillanat

Így lesz teljes a világom

És pattan életre

Remembering when we first met

There was so much excitement

our eyes content,

Smiles awkwardly bent

And Before the night could end,

We learned how to sway and bend

We became undercover—

Secret lovers

Fixated on your true beauty—

Imagining the taste of your lips,

and then making my way

down, down,

caressing your silky skin, and hips

Remembering the day when

our eyes first met

Content with excitement

Nothing can compare

To the beauty

that is you

asphyxiated with temptation

creating that intangible space,

Allowing myself to take in

your beauty and grace

I will not sever our entangled heartstrings,

Like an ivory harp

bringing harmonic,

and savory dreams

But the worst things in life,

Is letting the ones we love

Down, down

Thinking that love is letting me go—

No, No

But blessed be

to the one who wears

The crown

But do you Remember back when we first met

Overly excited with such great content

Nothing compares to the one that is you

I’m constantly asking for things that I can’t have.

I’m constantly loving you even if it’s not the right thing to do.

I’m constantly allowing myself to be hurt and I don’t why.

Is that wrong?

Was that wrong?

To constantly allow myself to fall... for you

To constantly think of you

And to love you more than I could ever expect myself to do so?

Was it wrong?

Maybe it was.

But I don’t regret it at all.

If that pisses you off, forgive me.

But I just can’t help it

It wasn’t planned, even I didn’t expect it

Believe me when I say that I tried to stop it

But I just can’t...

So forgive me, I tried to...

Erase you from my thoughts

Dodge you in every way that I can

I tried to distract myself

Read books and think of something else

But you keep popping up

Messing with my head, making me

Go almost crazy...

Your name your face your smile

Everything, I tried to hate it

Every idea of you, I tried

To hate them

Tried to hate you

Just to make what the hell I’m

feeling for you to stop

but I just can’t...

Forgive me... I tried

But...

I just can’t

I’ve been too constant

When it comes to you.

Sorry...

You used to keep me up at night

Sometimes you still do