#all. milo

"I've only had the one and it wasn't exactly a shining example of unswerving loyalty. I did spend a very, very long time dedicating my life to Milo, though. I loved him for a long time, and I gave up a lot of myself to be able to make his dreams easier. The rest is my fault. I don't expect to fall into anything serious any time soon, but if I do, I don't see myself going down that same path. Despite my track record, I don't consider myself unfaithful."

For many, being sober means finding yourself. Winnie is no different. Alcohol turned her into some sort of mangled creature - a version of herself completely unrecognizable to those who might've known her at her youngest and purest. Unfortunately, alcohol did all of that changing at a very, very young age; her brain never had the chance to form without influences, which meant that when she did finally let go of the bottle, she had to do a whole new kind of soul-searching. She had to completely reinvent herself - starting over without any of the freedom or levity of youth.

Doing that in a small town where every corner turned meant more opportunities to run into the ghosts of her past? Torturous, to say the least.

It isn't embarrassing to be sober. This is something Winnie tells herself every day, still, even after a decade of recovery. Unfortunately she'll have to keep telling herself this, likely forever, because as of now she still doesn't believe it. It is something she tells herself right now, here in the boxed soup and canned bean aisle, because standing in front of the various broths (and looking incredibly confused) is a ghost she's been avoiding for... well. A very, very long time.

"Milo," Winnie says - unthinking. An impulse she couldn't swallow even if she tried. She's seen him around, of course, though always at a distance where she could dip into the throng of people and disappear. Now, though, it's just them, and the broths, and the muzak that plays through the tinny speakers at 8:30pm on a Tuesday.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

"You can say what you want about him, but at the end of the day, Milo is a generous man. Sometimes his generosity comes from a selfish place, though it's difficult to guilt him over that. I never went a Valentine's Day without flowers, or a birthday without an extravagant piece of jewelry, or Christmas without a nice sweater. None of the gifts were ever wrapped well. They were there, though, always - he never forgot to show me love in that way, and I'm appreciative of it." @milo-wray