#aliluci

The crux of Alistair's character for me is his lack of identity. He doesn't remember anything prior to the year he spent in prison. Scenes and anecdotes from his childhood are vaguely alluded to in his dreams, or suggested in muscle memory when he flinches away from a touch, but he can never quite grasp them. They haunt him, this past that seems to have never existed, and the future that keeps bending and curving in unnatural ways. It is from here his madness is born

Whenever I write him, and especially for MWW (whose second chapter is currently twice as long as the first one... oops), I try to convey this Lovecraftian sense of nothingness. I try to make the reader feel as though they too are dissociating. Nothing in Ali's life is linear, nothing makes sense. I took a lot of inspiration from the Amnesia games, Miracle Musical, Dostoevsky, Edgar Allan Poe, Kafka, and Cormac McCarthy.

In any event I've been working on this bad boy for maybe a year. I write often but I seldom publish anything; it's half my dedication to the cause and half my perfectionism. I've been sitting on MWW since last summer and it was only recently that I was pleased with the themes and ideas I wanted to convey, and began writing. Even if it's just a fanfiction for my own darn OC I have to put my entire soul into it, that's how I worship God