#alexharrison

I have had a lot of mental issues in the last few years. I've tried really hard not to let it affect me, because my family count on me for nearly everything. This year was especially tough. My mother had a nervous breakdown that ended up in a suicide attempt and her being in hospital, I've been doing my final year of high school where I  somehow managed to top a few of my classes despite my lack of motivation, I was school captain, I lost most of my friends because I tended to break down in school because I had to be strong at home, and basically it's just been a shit year.

I found roleplaying and it became my new home. It was my safe place. It was the only place I felt wanted and accepted all year, and I clung to it. But in the last few weeks since moving, and with a lot of family drama, I've struggled to manage all my accounts. It's not so much that I couldn't manage them, but more I felt disconnected from some of them. Roleplaying began to feel like work instead of play because certain accounts were only being used because others liked them long after I stopped enjoying the characters. I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I make accounts before thinking it through sometimes. 

I currently have Amelia, Ron, Dakota, Sophia, Adrian, Alex, Lola, Hunter, Jackson and a few others. This is a lot of accounts, and I simply don't feel any passion for some of them anymore, and I realised it's more selfish to keep them up and not use them, meaning my partners can't branch out and explore other ships, rather than just delete them. Because of this I have decided to delete Alex, Lola, Jackson, Sophia and Adrian. Jackson is especially hard for me to give up because obviously he is in a relationship with Ashton, and Kenzii - please know I feel absolutely terrible for doing this. It has nothing to do with you, I can't stress that enough. I just hate seeing you waiting for replies day after day because I can't play Jackson anymore. Please, please don't hate me. It'd break my heart to lose you as a friend because of this.

I was planning on giving up roleplaying all together, but a wise person talked me down from it. I tend to abandon things when my mental state gets really bad, and she knew I'd regret it.