TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & KNOX
KNOX: Have you unblocked me yet?
KNOX: Because your brother is trying to have me arrested.

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TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & KNOX
KNOX: Have you unblocked me yet?
KNOX: Because your brother is trying to have me arrested.

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TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & TOBIAS
TOBIAS: I have some news.
TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & LEVITICUS
LEVITICUS: alastair i am NOT cut out for giving 20 YEAR OLD VIRGINS sex adVICE FOR THE FIRST TIME
LEVITICUS: I AM NOT READY TO BE A D A D
TEXT 📲 ALAI & KINS
KINS: You moved out of the loft, huh?
ALASTAIR & KY: “You know semen is protein? Too much protein.”
Ky stared blanking at his phone screen, having been in the middle of saying something to Alastair, only to cut himself off in concentration. He’d more or less invited himself over to the TheAlaKnox loft, bored and wanting someone to hang out with, and since Alastair was the only person home, he was the chosen one. “This is a very weird article. The benefits of bodily fluids. Crying is very good for your skin. So is semen. So a man giving you a facial is very good for you. I find it kind of gross.”

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TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & ALEX
ALASTAIR: look you are my best friend right?? so where the fuck have you been it's been like 36 hours
TEXT 📲 THEALAKNOX
KNOX: If you had a hall pass for someone in the village that you haven't already slept with, who would it be?
TEXT 📲 ALASTAIR & TOBIAS
TOBIAS: You know what, I have been patient for a very long time with your boyfriend, but enough is enough, you need to get him in line.