#alan twitty

I love when “kid” shows grow up a bit and we get to see our characters in juicy situations -- Like, immature middle school relationships. LET’S GET INTO THE DRAMA!

We see that Louis and Twitty have found a hobby in "foam-hunk diving." Don't even tell me you didn't want to try this (or STILL want to try this.) If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that this episode inspired us all to foam hunk dive:

One day during their routine excursion, Twitty notices Allison Wong standing nearby. It's so ridiculous (and slightly inappropriate?) how they have her drink from a water bottle in slow-mo while a deep voice sings "ohhhh, babehhhh" in the background. This is Even Stevens, not Baywatch. Louis encourages Twitty to go talk to her. Their conversation is awkward -- complete with a foam hunk sticking out of Twitty's neck. And I use the word "conversation" lightly because it's literally exactly what you'd expect interaction between two 8th graders to be like (a.k.a. The smallest small talk ever.) But, that's apparently all it takes for Twitty to return to Louis with the good news "She likes me!" and they celebrate by flailing around in packaging materials, as all mature men do.

I would also like to point out the incredible name for the packing supply warehouse, which I just noticed today: 

“PACKRAMENTO Packing Supplies” - Not only is the totally legit logo abnormally bright, terribly superimposed, and made on Microsoft Paint... but it’s one of the greatest and worst puns I’ve ever heard. 

Then it cuts to the subplot, where Donnie is preparing to give a rock climbing demonstration on... a giant rock wall that they've named after him. Why? I have so many questions. Was Donnie the school's star rock climber too? What middle school even has a rock climbing program? Lawrence Jr. High does because this is Even Stevens, fool. 

Everyone is there in the stands, including Twitty and Allison who have already started dating??? They're cozying up to each other and everything already. 

ok they’re honestly pretty cute tho

Just as Donnie is about to do his demonstration, coach Tugnut interjects and performs a cheer for Donnie. This is so disturbing, lol. The opening line is "Donnie Stevens, muscles that bulge" - CALM DOWN, TUGNUT. He also says “Leading his teammates to a steamy hot shower!” Again: Holy crap, Disney. What de heck. Tugnut was definitely a coded gay character... and an unfortunately creepy one at that, dang. 

Wexler, Donnie, and Tawny are me. 

He then insists that Donnie doesn't ~shine~ without an opponent, so Ren unwillingly volunteers by jumping up and screaming at the top of her lungs after Louis pours ice down the back of her shirt. This leads to a "family grudge match" (Tugnut's words) between brother and sister, which we seldom see and it's a cool lil switcheroo! The sibling rivalry is always centered around Louis and Ren specifically. So it's interesting to see what that dynamic is like between Ren and Donnie. Like, you forget that Louis and Ren have a brother sometimes! To Donnie's shock and embarrassment, Ren beats him. Uh oh. This births the main through-line of the subplot which is the two of them competing at literally everything ever in life after that because Donnie is being a sore loser. 

At lunch that day, Louis’ jealousy takes center stage when Twitty invites Allison to eat with them. They’re all giggly and lovey dovey -- gushing about the fact that both of their names start with “Al” and they love strawberry ice cream but hate vanilla. Ya know, the kind of solid foundation all enduring relationships are built on. Louis ain’t havin’ it. Twitty even says that the two of them are going to craft club after school, when he usually goes to Louis’ house. God forbid.

This scene also brought us one of my favorite Louis gifs:

I can taste the salt from here. No one wears jealousy as strong as Louis Stevens. 

I’m just gonna wrap up the subplot now, like I usually do.. because they’re always much shorter than the main plot and so intermittent that it’s just annoying (and extra work for me lol) to keep going back and forth! Sooo yeah. Basically Donnie starts an unofficial battle against Ren over everything: Like who can put away groceries the fastest and a spur of the moment limbo challenge. I love the limbo scene, because how on earth is Steve in regular clothes one second and tropical vacation clothes complete with a coconut drink the next? Because this is Even Stevens, fool. 

“This is like that impromptu family fun you see on television!” Steve says, as we watch them have impromptu family fun on television. That’s some sorta fourth wall type joke right there.

Donnie ultimately challenges Ren to a rock climbing rematch... and she beats him fair and square again. Donnie is cool with it this time around and adjusts his negative attitude towards losing! Yay! I also forgot to mention that Tugnut very harshly slapped Donnie’s butt before he started climbing at both matches. Yikes. Ren and Donnie are all happy and proud of themselves for not letting competition come between them, and Tugnut is miserable over precious Donnie losing to his sister. They should probably rename it the Ren Stevens Rock Climbing Wall though. The person it’s named after couldn’t even climb it successfully.

I love this. It’s so nice, tbh. The end! 

Back to the Twitty and Allison drama. Twitty stops by the Stevens house after craft club and brings Allison along with him. Louis just about dies. He just can’t handle it at all. I’d like to mention that Louis was reading a “swimsuit edition” of Steve’s bird watching magazine as Twitty walked in??? What? Is it just pictures of girls in bikinis posing with birds? Why is that a thing? Because THIS IS EVEN STEVENS, FOOL. Twitty also brought a wind chime he made using sea glass and Allison puts it to the left of Louis’ bed. Later in the scene, Louis walks to the right of his bed and the wind chime hits him in the head. Twitty forgot to mention he also installed a brain and legs into the wind chime. This whole scene is kinda sad though because Louis tries to hang out with them, but everything he suggests is only suited for two people. Like a bunch of hilariously titled board games: “2 On a Plank,” “Two to Tango,” “Third Wheel,” and “Odd Man Out.” Sounds like a fun time! 

I love how “2 On a Plank” shows, like.. 5 people on the side of the box. 

Louis clearly doesn’t know how to be alone or allow his friends to have other friends/significant others, so he immediately decides to replace Twitty any way he can -- Starting with asking Tawny to date him again. “As of right now, you and I are officially back on!” Tawny can see right through him as usual and tries to make him see that he doesn’t want a girlfriend, he’s just using her to fill the void. There’s a great bit here when Louis presents a daisy to Tawny and refers to it as a rose lol. That moment has been gif’d and literally has 400k+ notes on here! Wowie!

Tawny’s words of wisdom fall on deaf ears because Louis turns around right away and runs to Tom as a last resort. “Welp, now you’re officially my best friend!” he tells him. As if it’s that easy. Despite sort of being friends, (I say ‘sort of’ because Louis tends to treat Tom like poo on his shoe) the two of them obviously don’t have much in common and Tom is way too uptight to be bffs with Louis. Tom is absolutely elated to have a “best friend,” though. :( He asks Louis if they should talk to each other before school in the morning to make sure they don’t wear the same thing, but Louis insists that’s not gonna happen. And he’s right... the chances of that happening are literally zero. But leave it to Tom to somehow manage to take “best friends” to the next level: 

I’ll never understand how or why this happens on TV shows all the time. 

Louis tries to take Tom foam hunk diving with him, but Tom’s uptight nature sucks the fun out of everything. So much so, Louis just ends their new best-friendship right then and there. There’s only one thing I dislike about this episode, and that’s the way Louis treats Tom. As usual. It’s pretty hilarious though... Tom says he can’t hop the fence because he doesn’t have his fence climbing gloves. Oh my god. 

Louis attempts to go dive by himself, but it’s just not the same. It also makes him look like a crazy person flailing around in hunks of foam and beaming with joy by himself. I’d like to point out that “Louis” does a flip into the hunks, except it’s definitely not Shia: 

Shia couldn’t do his own stunts??? lol. The flip was pretty simple! This dude’s wig is so different from Shia’s hair and he has a receding hairline. 

Just then, Louis hides as Twitty shows up with Allison and surprises her with the vat of foam hunks. She’s seriously unimpressed. She calls the idea of jumping into it stupid. One thing leads to another and they decide to break up, dramatically parting ways.

I love how this screencap really illustrates that it was the foam hunks that tore them apart. Imagine? “How did your marriage end again?” “My wife wouldn’t jump in a tub of packaging materials with me.” -- This is why middle schoolers aren’t ready for relationships. 

Louis is beyond happy that they broke up at first. He’s just excited to have his best friend back. But, unfortunately.. all Twitty can do afterwards is mope around. He can’t stop thinking about Allison. This brings us to the end of the episode and the reason why I really like this one. In the end, Louis decides to put his friend’s feelings before his own and convinces Allison to go foam hunk diving with them. Awww. She pops up out of nowhere and pleasantly surprises Twitty! Tom shows up too and the four of them have a good old fashioned blast. 

It’s like when friends get caught in the rain and have a cinematic, grand old time -- except this is Even Stevens so it’s foam hunks that fall instead. 

And that’s it! Idk man, I just always liked this episode. I’ve said it a million times but I live for teen drama lol. It’s just refreshing and entertaining whenever this show decides to explore relationships. We get to see quite a few here as well! There’s Twitty and Allison of course. But then there’s Louis and Twitty’s friendship, as well as Ren and Donnie’s rivalry. This one is kinda stuffed to the brim with it, but I really enjoy the main plot. Even though Louis was super jealous the whole time, the resolution always makes me happy. Just goes to show that he’s a good friend, even though selfishness can get the better of him sometimes. This episode also kinda doubles as a Twitty plot which is cool. Oh, and Shia does his “WAHHHH-HA-HA-OOOOOO!” scream at least 10 times in this episode. Five of which are in the first 2 minutes, so there’s that. I actually just realized that this episode is basically the same plot as All About Yvette, except reversed and less cheesy. I feel like I mention that episode a lot for some reason lol. 

I also want to let you guys know that I’ve created a Redbubble account to start selling some Even Stevens-related designs/products. I’ve been working really hard on the designs and cannot wait to post them!! Ahhh. I have so many ideas! haha. (Like *cough* Twitty-Stevens Connection band merch *cough*) It’s gonna be fun. I was inspired to do so because I saw that Lizzie McGuire, That’s So Raven and other Disney Channel “classics” have some new official merch for sale through Hot Topic. But of course... Even Stevens gets nothing. So once again, I’m taking matters into my own hands here lol. I always try to search for Even Stevens merch, but I can never find anything. So I’m making these products for myself as much as I’m making them for y’all. I’ll be sure to let you know when the stuff is posted. 

ALSO Brookwell/McNamara (the show’s production team) followed the blog on Twitter. I feel so validated and ~official.~

Thanks for reading! As always, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below.

This one opens with Ren giving a presentation to Steve and Eileen on why she deserves her own phone line. Yes, phone line. As in... a LANDLINE. Crazy how today she probably would’ve already had her own iPhone since the ripe ‘ol age of 8! But, yes. It’s 2000 and Ren wants her own landline in her bedroom. 

Louis interrupts the presentation by running through the kitchen like a tornado and Ren naturally starts complaining about him. That’s when Eileen gets the smart idea to give Ren some incentive “If you can not put your brother down for a whole week, we will give you your own phone line.” Good idea, tbh. 

Cut to school where Louis, Twitty and Tawny are in the auditorium for a chocolate sale assembly. This is one of my favorite bits ever omg. A rip-off of the 20th Century Fox jingle plays as this scam artist with a rats tail hairdo(n’t) named Wallace Randall from Real Good Chocolate Industries walks out on stage. He tries way too hard to motivate the kids -- telling bold-faced lies like “Zeus sold chocolate!” Sounds legit. He announces that the grand prize is this fancy motorized scooter with a cheetah print butt seat. Snazzy. Mr. Randall says the person who believes they were put on planet earth to sell chocolate is the person who’ll be the top seller and win the prize. Louis' mind is so clouded by the scooter, he feels the spirit. 

I always crack up when Louis dramatically mumbles “that’s why I’m here...” to himself. I also love how Mr. Randall uses Shaq in “KAZAAM” -- a cinematic classic that boasts a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes -- as an impressive example.  

Louis really, really wants that scooter. So he decides that he and Twitty should team up to sell 400 freakin’ boxes, ensuring that they’ll be the top sellers. Yeah, I don’t remember chocolate sales working like that? I remember every student was given a suitcase-size box of assorted chocolates and that’s it. What the hell is this 400 boxes nonsense?! Then again, I mostly remember doing the Hershey’s Fundraising sale. Obviously, this episode is a spoof on the “World’s Finest Chocolate” brand -- which I definitely remember selling at one point, too. I checked their website and it seems like they cap it at 25 boxes, although you CAN order more than that if you want. But, who would??? 400 IS SUCH A STRETCH. 

I tried to check out with 400 boxes, and it said “TOO MANY ITEMS IN CART” ..........ya don’t say. Imagine paying $12,000 for chocolate. 

Ren struggles to be nice to Louis throughout the week. It’s pretty funny. She’s constantly yelling at him, and then following it up with an awkward compliment lol. She also thinks selling 400 boxes is asinine “You actually think you’re going to sell 400 boxes? You are a total and complete........ i...nspiration to all of us.” Good save, Ren. 

The next day Louis and Twitty are at the Stevens house trying to come up with creative (and insincere) ways to sell their 400 boxes, trying make the product seem amazing to prospective buyers. I think this is freaking hilarious. Louis says “I hand you the chocolate, you eat it, and then you say...” Twitty looks at his hand for the words “It’s a miracle. I can see again” which he repeats super robotically. Louis kills me here. “No... that’s not what ya say. ‘Cause you were blind -- and now you can see. That’s a miracle!!! YOU CAN SEE NOW.” He says that Mr. Randall said you have to make people feel that chocolate has changed your life. So Twitty dramatically falls to the ground shouting “IT’S A MIRACLEEEEE! I CAN SEE AGAINNNNNN AHHHHH!” and I die every time.

I’m pretty sure if one bite of chocolate could restore your eyesight, it would cost a little more than $1 per bar. 

Just then, Mr. Randall unexpectedly visits to personally deliver and congratulate them for setting out to sell an ambitious 800 BOXES. Yeah. Turns out Louis ordered 400 boxes and Twitty also ordered 400 boxes. So now they’re stuck with 800 boxes they obviously will never be able to sell. This is where the drama really strikes. I love Louis’ face when he realizes the problem: 

That zoom in, lol. It needed to be gif’d. 

Mr. Randall goes on to tell them they’re financially responsible for every box they ordered. Are you kidding me? That’s roughly $24k according to the World’s Finest prices. They’re 13. I love how Twitty says the title of the episode here! “Louis, we’re in deep...... chocolate” haha. Louis gets super angry at Twitty for ordering 400 boxes without consulting him because that’s how all the great duos work according to Louis Stevens: “Batman, he rescues people. And Robin... Robin... checks with Batman before he orders 400 boxes of chocolate!!!” I love that line. This leads to an all out war between Louis and Twitty. Louis takes his 400 boxes, and Twitty takes his. They’re officially competing against each other now. Twitty even says “this friendship is over!” Yikes. Let’s take a moment to appreciate Twitty’s face as he tries to talk while carrying large boxes tho:

The next day, Louis wakes up to find his family tap dancing in the living room. The usual. He’s up at 6am ready to start selling some chocolate, but Twitty is way ahead of him. Eileen already bought 6 bars from Twitty not knowing that they’re no longer working as a team! I love two things about this scene. Louis says “Me and Twitty had creative differences -- Because I’m creative and he’s different,” which is incredible. I’ve used this line irl before. And the second is Steve tap dancing while passive aggressively telling Louis to get his 400 boxes of chocolate out of the garage so he can have his parking space back. 

“I’m not gonna ask you again... *jazz hands* GET THEM OUTTA THERE!” Tom Virtue is hilarious. 

Louis then sets out on his chocolate selling mission and he’s absolutely terrible at it. He’s breaking into people’s homes, jumping on their beds... I can’t. Meanwhile, Twitty is THRIVING and coming up with much more creative ideas than Louis. Which is ironic because Louis just said HE’S the creative one, lol. Twitty’s ideas include a tricycle cart shop and a “Chocopalooza” performance -- a spoof on Lollapalooza obviously. 

Not sure how his fake Jamaican accent and hat with mock-dreads would go over today though. 

Twitty’s raking it in, and Louis has yet to sell one bar. He goes to Tawny for help but she refuses to buy from either of them because 1. The chocolate tastes like dirt and 2. they’re ruining their friendship over nothing basically. 

I love how Louis has a girl take a bite of the chocolate and asks her “Is that the best chocolate bar you’ve ever eaten?” and she says “That’s NOT the best chocolate bar I’ve ever eaten.” World’s Finest happens to be quite nasty tasting too apparently. Well, according to their Amazon reviews at least. So this episode is pretty much true-to-life all around, lol. 

Back at home, Donnie has turned their bathroom into a steaming hot sauna. This ain’t good because he blasted the hot water heater to do so. Which happens to be located in the garage.......... where 400 boxes of chocolate are stashed. 

It’s like that trope where someone puts too much soap in the washing machine and then leaves it unattended... except with chocolate, because this is Even Stevens. 

Louis and Ren notice some chocolate leaking into the driveway and panic. I mean, how do you stop 400 boxes of melting chocolate? “WE GOTTA EAT IT!!!!” is Louis’ suggestion, which is so funny omg. The chocolate leaks EVERYWHERE and we get this terrible CGI aerial shot to prove it: 

Mr. Randall decides to conveniently show up here and demands money for the chocolate. Of course, Louis doesn’t have the money. Steve comes waltzing over as well and both he and Mr. Randall start slippin and slidin all over the place. It’s a little annoying but... hey. Steve, being an attorney, threatens to shut down Real Good Chocolate for being a scam. One thing I do not understand: Steve says that Mr. Randall will get his money back. (WHY?! I’d refuse.) And he also tells Louis that he’ll be doing chores for the next few months to pay for the chocolate. Does he mean he’ll be doing chores for the entire neighborhood? No amount of chores would raise the $1,000s of dollars Louis needs, lol. (Again, I’m overthinking this. I know.) 

Naturally, everything works out in the end though. Louis and Twitty make up. Twitty ends up winning the sale and gets the fancy scooter, which Louis is cool with because he at least gets to ride it now. 

The last minute of the episode is Ren talking on her ~new private phone line~! Except it ain’t so private. Louis has rigged her conversations to be broadcast through two megaphones outside. 

I love how everyone and their cousin decided to walk through this residential neighborhood right as Ren declares she has a “major crush on Bobby Deaver.”

And that’s it! I just really like this episode. I always have. Idk what it is about it! There are quite a few things I find hilarious, which I’ve mentioned here. This one went by lightening fast when I was re-watching it, which can only mean one thing to me: It’s entertaining! I like how this episode actually deals with Louis and Twitty’s friendship as well as a bit of the sibling rivalry between Louis and Ren. I just think this one is solid all around and a good one to kick off the Top 25! Ayyyyy! Can’t believe we’re at the Top 25. Wow. 

Thanks for reading!!

This one opens with Steve driving Louis, Twitty and Ren to school. Steve takes the opportunity to tell them that he’s signed up to be a parent volunteer at their school, to Louis and Ren’s absolute dismay. It’s pretty great when Louis asks if he’s going to embarrass them and Steve says “Well, that’s probably unavoidable.” Well, at least he knows. But, since he knows he’s embarrassing.. why can’t he make a conscious decision to dial it down?! 

We see that Twitty is talking quietly on the phone to someone before he hangs up and reveals it was Allison and that they just broke up. I love this bit because it comes across as refreshingly grown-up. Another thing that feels more High School than Middle School to me. It’s also a very nice moment for Louis and Twitty’s friendship. Louis is super comforting and soft spoken here all “Dude, I’m sorry...” Awww. I love it. 

At school, the flag core is rehearsing their routine for the annual Rose Parade. Coach Tugnut tells them, “Hey! Don’t get too cocky. One miss-twirl and, well..... We all know what happened to Shamski.” This is so funny. Whatever “unfortunate incident” happened to this Shamski guy has opened up a spot on the team. Literally no one else wants the spot other than Ren, so Tugnut is about to give it to her by default -- until good’ol Tom Gribalski comes jogging into the picture, late due to Opera Club running overtime, hoping to try out. Tugnut tells them both to practice and they’ll hold official tryouts after school. 

Louis is in class about to take a quiz when Allison walks by the door and starts cheekily smiling at him. I swear to god this is so freaking funny. Louis does a double take because... why would she randomly stop and stare at him like that?! There’s this sultry, instrumental Spanish flamenco music playing and it kills me. 

The girl is literally biting her lip... what de heck. 

Of course, this is all it takes for Louis to start thinking he’s God’s gift to earth and that every woman ever must be after him. He goes to talk to Tawny about it and says Allison gave him “The Eye” which is great. Tawny thinks he’s being ridiculous so Louis is all “Sounds like you’re jealous that ~the ladies~ are checkin’ me out.” Oh my god. Tawny says “We had our little thing, and now we’re just friends. I’m fine if the ~ladies~ are checking you out” -- which we know is a lie but okay. Again, this all feels very high school to me and I love it tbh. 

Later in the cafeteria line, Allison gives Louis another look. THE MUSIC KICKS IN AGAIN AND IT’S MY FAVORITE THING. This melody gets stuck in my head constantly. I just hum it and laugh to myself because it’s so dramatic and overly romantic sounding for this situation. Louis is now totally convinced that he’s not crazy and she’s definitely into him. Tawny’s had enough already and flat out asks Allison if she’s been checking him out and she says “I have. I like his look.” WELL, DANG. It’s amazing because as soon as she says that, one single chord from the flamenco guitar plays as she walks away and I die every time. This counts as music humor to me. 

Louis gets lost in his thoughts and it zooms into his brain to show us these two elderly men chillin at a Deli discussing the current drama of Louis’ life. WHAT?! 

This show is so freaking random. I don’t even know where they come up with this stuff. I used to think these guys were stupid and pointless, which they kinda are. Especially since we’ve never seen them before and they’re only featured in this one episode. But, the more I thought about it.. the more I started to find it hilarious. One of them thinks Louis should go for it and date Allison, the other thinks it’s wrong because she’s his best friend’s ex. Um, I agree with the latter. Twitty and Allison broke up THAT MORNING and Louis is already considering going in for the kill. I cannot. He’s insane. But that’s already been established many times and these Deli men are just the icing on the cake. 

Just then, Steve busts out of the kitchen shouting “HOWDY, KIDS! STEP RIGHT UP TO BIG STEVE’S TEXAS BARBECUE!” Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, ya know how I said if Steve knows he’s embarrassing he should just do his best to dial it down? It’s like he purposely turned it up to 11: 

I love how Shia does the shirt-over-the-head thing to hide from the embarrassment, lol.

Cut to the flag core tryouts. Ren tries her best, but of course, Tom blows her away. Some stock music that reminds me of “76 Trombones” from The Music Man plays while he does his routine, lol. Steve is now on trash duty and comes over to Ren and asks how it went. She says she’ll probably be watching the parade from home again and Steve is clearly a little mad. You can tell he’s gonna do something about it which... come on, man. Let the better person win. Coach Tugnut goes on to say one of my favorite lines when Tom asks which one of them made the team: “Well, I could tell you that right now... But it would be better for your character if I were to prolong the agony for a couple more hours.” So good. Tugnut says quite a few gems throughout the series, tbh. 

Tawny is me once again and confronts Louis about him seriously considering getting together with Allison. She, too, agrees that it’s way too soon. It cuts to the Deli guys and one of them just says “What does she know?! Ehh, this corned beef is too fatty!” which just makes me laugh. Louis suddenly agrees about it being too soon and says he’ll put a stop to whatever’s brewing between him and Allison IMMEDIATELY. Just then, Allison approaches him and it takes all of 0.5 seconds for Louis to completely cave. 

The flamenco music is playing again here, btw. 

Honestly, y’all gotta hear what this music sounds like for yourself so it can be hilariously stuck in your head too:

Louis goes to the bathroom to talk to himself (and the guys in his head) out loud, as you do when you’re in crisis. Speaking of the bathroom, ya know how I’ve mentioned a few times that Louis moved up to 8th grade in Season 3? Well, this scene is one of the few that definitely confirm it!! The door clearly tells us that he’s in the 8th grade bathroom. Ayyyy!

Still not sure why the bathrooms are segregated like that tho??? Is that a thing?

Tom is in one of the stalls practicing his flag routine and Louis is shocked. He’s all “TOM! What were you doing in there?!” but Tom turns the tables “The better question is, who are you talking to out here?” Gotta love how Louis owns his craziness and explains “OH! Well, there’s these two old guys who hang out at a Deli in my head and help me out with lifes little problems.” Fantastic. Louis asks Tom where Templeton Park is and we get one of the best moments ever. (Tumblr won’t let me embed more than one thing, so click that link to see what I’m talking about. Tom is the GREATEST.) So, yeah. Louis finds out that people call it “Temptation Park” because it’s a popular makeout spot. Seriously, these kids are in high school ok. I refuse to believe otherwise. 

Basically, to shorten and simplify this subplot: Steve bribes Tugnut with donuts so that Ren will get the spot on the flag core... which she does. Ren finds out and gets mad because she a very fair-and-square person. So, she in turn bribes Tugnut with a cheese calzone to ensure Tom gets the spot instead... which he does. THE END!

Ren handing her flag over to Tom -- whose life has just been made. 

Louis is a nervous wreck around Twitty because he obviously knows that he should not be messing around with Allison in any way shape or form. So when Twitty asks if he wants to hang out later, Louis makes up some bogus excuse about needing to go sock shopping with his dad. Wow. As usual, Twitty knows that something’s up. 

CUT TO ~TEMPTATION PARK~! The miscommunication culminates here and I love it so much. Louis meets Allison at the park and she lays out a blanket for them and everything. They get comfortable and she asks “Soo, you wanna try something fun?” and Louis’ voice cracks so bad when he answers “.......su..re....” Oh my freaking god. He’s totally thinking they’re about to makeout or something and it’s too much. It only gets worse when she asks him to slip into a bathing suit she brought with her. I’m dyin right now. The guys in his head are all “No good can come of this!!” - Ain’t that the truth. This is where Louis draws the line. He tells her that Twitty is his best friend and what they’re doing is VERY VERY WRONG. Allison is confused out of her mind like “....what are we doing?” Then we get one of my favorite Louis quotes: 

I cannot get over how CONFIDENT Louis is?! He thought he could easily make a 36 year old woman fall in love with him. Now he assumes Allison can’t resist his gorgeousness as if he’s 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio. Chill, Louis. 

It’s here that we finally learn the real reason why Allison has been checking him out and invited him to the park. She explains “I don’t want to date you, I want to paint you!” Louis is crumbling, oh man... And it only gets worse. She says she wants to recreate her favorite painting “Boy On A Rock” and she was staring at Louis so much because said boy on the rock is literally Louis:

I swear, if Shia had to actually sit for that painting... that is iconic and yet another poster that should exist if Even Stevens ever becomes as big as Seinfeld. Which it won’t. But still. I’d buy it. It’s actually a real painting by Dan Haberkorn, who was the art director for the show. He has it up on his website in high quality! It’s amazing. I so wish he’d sell prints/posters of it! Gah. 

Allison just keeps going on about the similarities between Louis and the painting: “See? Not really handsome, kinda of quirky, a little off...” “OK I GET IT!” Louis interrupts, lol. That must’ve been a wakeup call. Since Louis stopped their non-existent relationship because of Twitty, Allison tells him he’s a very good friend. I like that. They’re cool after that and Louis poses for the painting. (cover photo) I love the quote here: 

Allison: “Louis, you look perfect. Except you’re missing one thing...” 

Louis: “My dignity?”

Twitty happens to be passing through the park and sees Allison running her hands through Louis' hair to make it look more like the original painting. Twitty gets pissed at Louis for lying which leads to the most ridiculous chase sequence. The way Shia runs is so funny, omg. There’s also some stock song that’s sung in gibberish or something that plays here and it always gets stuck in my head, too. Which sucks because there are no actual lyrics, lol. Louis falls into some mud while running which irks me every time. That poor bathing suit! 

He ends up wandering into the middle of some girl scout meeting. They call him a mud monster, accidentally toss a cake on his head, and start chasing him as well, lol. These chases are also amazing because Louis is screaming the entire time, and we all know how great his scream is. Twitty eventually catches up to him and I love this dialogue so much:

Twitty: "So, why're you running?"

Louis: "CAUSE YOU'RE CHASIN' ME, TWITTY!"

My mom and I quote this at least once a week. This is a nice scene, though. The two of them have a heart to heart. Louis basically says it was stupid to let a girl come between them, so they agree that “from now on it’s friends first” -- Disney’s way of saying “bros b4 hoes” which is definitely what two 14 year old middle school boys would say instead. 

Then the girl scouts catch up to him again and the episode fades out on Louis running from them: 

Some say he’s still running today...

And that’s it! This is one of my personal favorites, guys. I LOVE the Louis plot here, haha. I’ve said before, I’m a sucker for teen drama and seeing Louis spiral into insanity over girls will never not be entertaining and endearing. I think this episode is funny, solid, fast-paced, and quotable! AND again, it’s a personal fave. This one has a lot going for it imo. It kinda kills me to place this one at 26, juuuust shy of the Top 25 (which, can you believe we’re about to hit the Top 25?! I can’t!) but yeah. I like this Ren plot too because it involves Tom and he is the best. 

In case you missed the last entry you can read it here. 

Thanks for reading!